Prepare! An Intricate FanFic
by dacharya64
Summary: After a trip to the future, Maes Hughes ends up in the Soul Society after his death. He decides to become a Shinigami to kill off people with his newly acquired Death Note, when he realizes he is being followed by L and Ichimaru.
1. Chapter 1

Okay, time for some intro…

For about a year, my sister and I have been sending making this story. It started off as some random e-mails to each other, and it eventually got a plot and became an exciting story of randomness and it has a bit of everything ever in our lives. It has some Mushishi, Bleach, Fullmetal Alchemist, Gankutsuou, Witch Hunter Robin, Death Note, South Park, Star Trek, all Miyazaki films, Invader Zim, Destruction Via the Mirror image, Trouble at Jamestown, Samurai Champloo, Monster, World of Goo, Fate, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Noein, and assorted random references. How should we remember anymore? Never heard of any of these? You can read it anyway!

This will be updated about once a week. There should be two or three new segments by then. If you like Prepare, please rate and comment! It's great to know that people are reading our work! Feel free to critique as well. Constructive criticism is always welcome.

Note: This is the unedited version of our story. This is mainly because we haven't the time right now to sit and read through all of it. Edits and new chapters coming soon!

Note – 2: We apologize for any unaccredited sources, misspelled names/places, and characters acting… Well… Out of character. But that's the whole point. So sit back, relax, and enjoy.

And now......

_**PREPARE!**_

Hughes sat down. Now that Roy was away, he could do whatever he wanted. And he had something special in mind.

He idly picked his nose for a few minutes then finally realized he couldn't wait any longer. He slowly pulled his gun out of its holster and crept to the door.

At that moment, Hawkeye walked out of the door. "Did you set it?" Hughes whispered. Hawkeye merely nodded.

Hughes then started uncontrollably laughing and soon was rolling around the floor hysterically. Hawkeye grunted with disgust but was used to it by now.

Fuery walked in. Hughes was lost in his own little world by then. Hawkeye felt annoyed.

"Did you perform your orders, Fuery?" she asked.

"Yes, sir, but are you sure this is okay...?"

Hughes suddenly shot up and stared at Fuery with bulging blood-shot eyes.

"DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM" he sang.

Fuery gulped, sweating nervously.

Hawkeye kicked Hughes, and he collapsed back onto the ground.

Fuery gulped. I hate it when he gets like that....

Suddenly Fuery felt a something jab at his back.

"I'm sorry Kain, but you're not going to be any more use to us." He heard Hawkeye murmur. But before he could do anything BANG, and Fuery (in slow motion) fell to the floor and soon a pool of blood formed beneath his corpse.

Hughes immediately adopts a serious expression. "Good work. Now to deal with the others."

"I can take care of the other two; we have to keep Heymans alive though. He is needed for the final stages of our plan..." Hawkeye said putting her gun back into its holster. "And I'll take care of the Major....." Hughes sighed. "I just don't see why all of this killing is needed....." Hawkeye glared at him. "It is either this, or you don't help us, and you know what will happen if you do that......" "NO! PLEASE LEAVE ELISIA AND GRACIA OUT OF THIS! I BEG YOU, DON'T HARM THEM!!" Hughes pleaded. "That all depends on you Hughes; it all depends on you....."

Hughes let out a small whimper, and then grinned. "Well, it seems I have no choice in the matter, so...." He quickly pulls out a knife and throws it at Hawkeye. She is taken by surprise, the blade lodging into her leg. She growls, and aims her gun straight at Hughes, firing.

BOOM!

The bullet lodges right into Hughes heart and he falls down dead. Just jokin'. Hughes expertly dodges the bullet though it still manages to scrape the top of his right hand. Hughes winced in pain and dropped the knife he was carrying. Realizing he had been disarmed he quickly jumped behind a nearby table.

"Hughes, you're getting sloppy. Maybe I should kill you right now just to put you out of you misery."

I can't die here, not yet! But pain clouded his thoughts. He saw the edges of his vision began to blur. He feebly tried to reach back to grab a knife but he couldn't will his hand to move. I am going to die here. He thought. I am going to die in this wretched place just because my hand got a little scraped..... I wonder what Roy would say? And at that, he blacked out.

A few hours later........

Hughes awoke from the loud sound of beeping and voices. Where am I? He thought as his vision began to clear. Light was everywhere around him and he could hear quite a lot of movement. Hughes began to sit up when suddenly the pain and throbbing of his hand came back.

"Ugggggg" he groaned more loudly then he had meant to. He suddenly heard footsteps coming toward him.

"Oh, your awake, that's good. Sir, come over here." Suddenly a man Hughes had never seen before was leaning over him.

"Hello Mr. Hughes, I am Captain Mustang. Welcome to the Enterprise.


	2. Chapter 2

"Huh?" Hughes muttered. He saw Roy in front of him, dressed in some kind of jumpsuit. "Nice leotard, Roy..."

Mustang glared. "How many times do I have to tell you, Hughes? You need to be more formal when you're on duty!"'

"Wait, where am I? How did I get here?" Hughes asked.

"What are you talking about Maes? Stop joki-- wait oh-no...... it got you to....."

Mustang put his face into his hands. "Maes… I'm sorry....."

Hughes sat there befuddled for a few moments, before Mustang looked back up. "That was sarcasm, Hughes. Now get to the bridge."

Fuery chuckled, but when he saw the way that Hughes was staring hopelessly off into space, he stepped forward. "Um, sir, I think Hughes was actually serious about that...." He then nudged Hughes and muttered "You owe me one...."

"Hey! I'm not a circus freak (alchemist) I don't follow the laws of Equivalent Exchange..."

Hughes growled glaring at Fuery.

"Circus Freak? Huh?" Fuery and Mustang both asked at the same time.

"What is wrong with you guys?!??!?! AND WHERE THE &%$# ARE WE?!?!?!"

"I think you where right Fuery.... "

"Yes... I agree sir......"

Just then, Mustang's communicator beeped. He tapped it hastily. "Yes, what is it?"

Hawkeye's voice came over the line. "Trouble, sir. Five ships closing in, and fast."

Mustang muttered a curse under his breath, and then turned to see Hughes staring at the communicator in a mixture of confusion and amazement.

"Sedate him 'till I get back" Mustang said glaring at Hughes then swiftly exited the room......

Fuery nodded then filled the device in his hand with something.

"Wait! I have to talk to Roy! Wait! No....NO!!!!!!" Hughes felt the device press against his neck and immediately fainted.

Hughes suddenly shot up from his bed. He was dripping with sweat and he had a pounding migraine. Though, there he was... In his own room with Gracia breathing softly next to him.

What the &%$# had happened?!?!

Well, I didn't see that coming...... That was the weirdest dream......Hughes yawned, then realized there was something in his hand. "Huh......?" He sat up, and stared at the object sitting in his palm. It was small and metallic, a triangle-type shape set on an oval. He realized with a jolt of recognition that this was the same object that Roy had on in his dream...... Before he could take in what this meant, the object began to beep. Hughes jumped upright, and then hurried into the other room. He didn't want to wake up Gracia.

He tapped the small object, and heard Roy's voice fill the room. "Hello, Hughes. We've wasted a lot of resources on you, so you'd better do this mission right."

"Huh? What mission?"

"We've sent to back in time. Riza is going to set a plan to get to the top, and it involves the certain murders of everyone in the way... including me. Thankfully, I was in an alternate universe at the time.... but enough of that. Stop her plan. It's do or die, Hughes. Roy out."

Hughes sat and stared at the device in silence. Finally, he muttered, "Do or die, huh?"

Hughes looked down at the device thinking for a moment then looked up as if he had decided something. Suddenly then, in one quick motion he threw the device on the ground and smashed it with his foot. Now enough of that... he thought as he picked up the metallic fragments and threw them into a nearby trash can.

He yawned, and then suddenly realized how tired he was. He walked back in the bedroom, but noticed Gracia sitting up.

"What is it?" Hughes asked.

"Oh nothing....." Gracia laid back down. "Go to bed..."

"Hughes laid down, but couldn't sleep. He had a feeling that Gracia was up to something..... He feigned sleep for a while, and when Gracia thought he was asleep she got up and left the room, shutting the door behind her. Hughes quickly got up and put his ear to the door, straining to pick up all the sounds. He heard Gracia talking to Mustang.

"It appears as though he destroyed the communicator.... I think it will be difficult to have him do this willingly."

"He knows the stakes! Only a fool would-"

Gracia interrupted him. "Wait, I just heard a noise from the bedroom. I think Hughes is awake...."

Hughes dashed toward the bed, but not soon enough. Gracia threw open the door and threw the lights on. Hughes cowered under the bright light. "Well, Maes.... It seems that you are needed." She grabbed his arm, tapped the communicator, and they both disappeared in a column of blue light.

A wave of dizziness came over Hughes as the blues light surrounding him faded, but before Hughes could get a grasp on his surroundings he felt Gracia drop him and stumbled clumsily off the platform they had re-materialized onto.

Hughes put his hand to his head feeling a wave of frustration as well as panic.

"What the hell is going on?! Damn it! This has got to be a dream..."

"A dream, hmm?" Gracia slowly walked over to him and hauled him up by his scruff.

"This is about to become your worst nightmare."

Then, from behind him he felt a cold metallic device press against his neck and he instantly fell to the floor in a heap.

Hughes awoke blearily to see Fuery standing over him, looking concerned. "Oh good, sir, you're awake!"

"Hmmm?" Hughes murmured.

"Sir, there isn't much time. You need to help me...!"

"Huh? Why should I help YOU?!? You kidnapped me! You strap me down, inject me with drugs, and call it a treatment!"

"Sir, please listen. It's the only way that you might be able to get home again."

Hughes sat up. "I'm listening...."

Fuery sighed with relief. Evidently he had been expecting a harder challenge. "You see, more and more I've been feeling as if.... we don't belong here.... we took this ship hostage, you see, and Colonel Mustang is threatening to kill the crew if Starfleet doesn't comply to his wishes, and-"

"Huh? What's Starfleet?"

"Never mind that. Anyway, I'm starting to feel as if what Mustang has been doing is wrong. So I did a bit of research, and due to....." He goes onto list a few figures and technicalities for a while... "I think we're in the wrong universe. We need to release the hostages and find a way back to our own time!"

Hughes was feeling sufficiently confused right about now. "So.... what does this have to do with me...?"

"Well, the answer to where we really belong is hidden somewhere in your brain."

"My... brain?"

"Yep. Don't worry, I did some scans and have gotten the results on a holodeck rod. But I need you to talk some sense into the Colonel. He hasn't been acting right since that trip to Risa...."

Hughes sighed. Maybe this universe was different, but some things would never change.....


	3. Chapter 3

As if on cue, the sickbay doors slide open and in walked Mustang.

"This is your chance" Fuery whispered glancing up at Mustang. "Good luck"

And at that Fuery skittered away typing some figures into the device he was carrying (a copy of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy).

Hughes gulped as he saw Mustang slowly walk toward him, but he was ready.

"Oh, 'ey Roy! How you do-" Hughes was suddenly cut off as Roy slapped Hughes across the face.

"What the hell did you think you were doing!!?" Mustang roared --- (yes, Roy is now Aslan), making Hughes cower at the biobed.

"Do you think this is some kind of joke!?!?! Hughes, my life is on line and yet you dismiss this whole thing as if it were just a dream!!!!!! I thought I could trust you Maes. That's why, after all this time and patience, out of all the people I could choose, you were the one I called upon help me. YOU were the one I chose to set things right...."

Hughes stared blankly at Mustang. What the %$# is going on!?!!?

.........Hughes blinked. He was feeling very confused. And what was this that Roy kept going on about? Where was he, anyway? And-

A loud grumble from his stomach interrupted his thoughts. It reverberated around the room.

"Oh Maes, you're probably hungry..." Mustang said. "How about you have lunch with me in my quarters?"

"Uh..." Hughes muttered. This sudden change in personality was quite unnerving. He made a side glance at Fuery, who hastily nodded. "Sure, Roy! What kind of food do you have here, anyway?" He stood and followed Mustang out of sickbay.

"So, Maes" Mustang began, taking a bite out of the mashed potatoes heaped high on his plate, "I heard about you smashing the communicator. But why, Maes? Is something wrong?"

Hughes grunted. Why was Mustang suddenly so concerned for his well-being? "Well, I don't know who you really are..."

Mustang sighed. "I'm sorry, Maes. Let me explain..."

"Well, it all be---" Mustang was suddenly cut off by a violent vibration of the floor below.

"Sorry, have to get to the bridge. You can stay here when I am gone....." Mustang then sprinted out of the room.

Oh great.... Now what am I supposed to do? Hughes thought. He contemplated trying to escape but then decided against it, knowing, he had not the slightest clue on what the format of the ship was, he would probably just get himself lost. After several minutes of thinking he finally decided that he would take a nap. He stretched out his legs to the table in front of him, then took off his glasses, put his hands over his head, and closed his eyes. Suddenly Roy walked back in the room glaring.

"False alarm. I guess one of my engineers was messing around with the warp core or something. Incompetent fools...." He muttered then turned to Hughes who had hurriedly put back on his glasses. Mustang smiled. "Now, where were we?

"Heh. We were at the part when-" Hughes began.

Mustang's communicator beeped. "Yes, what is it?"

"We need Commander Hughes up on the bridge, sir. It looks like Starfleet has some interest in him."

Mustang shrugged. "Come on, then."

Hughes followed him tentatively up to the bridge, marveling at the turbo lifts. "So, Roy, how does this all work? It must take quite some alchemy-"

"I can explain later, Hughes." Mustang cut him off. "Right now I-"

The turbo lift door opened and the two stepped out onto the bridge.

Wow! Hughes thought as the expanse of the Bridge opened up to him.

"That's a mighty big UFO!"

Mustang only returned with a glare. Then briskly walked to the center of the Bridge with Hughes stumbling behind him. Hughes looked the room uncomfortably as he saw the eyes of the once easy going east HQ stare at him as if he was from another world! He saw through the view screen a beam shoot from ship. It looked 200 ft long, it was extremely long. He then looked at the officer sitting beside Mustang and realized he didn't recognize them. It appeared to be female, because Hughes could tell it had offspring and a female sense of reproduction. Yet! It had no gender!

"So, Roy.... care to- OUCH!"

Hughes winced as Mustang elbowed him sharply in the gut. He loomed over Hughes, baring his teeth. "I'd advise you to not think those kinds of thoughts about your superior officer... It's not a good idea."

Hughes gulped. Is it just me, or has he grown taller?

Mustang winced.

Hawkeye stood. "Hughes, be more careful with how freely you let your thoughts out." She turned to the colonel. "Please sit down sir..." I hate it when he gets like that...

Mustang growled. "Stand aside, Lieutenant. There will be FIRE TONIGHT! Wahahaha!"

Hughes sighed. Some things never change...

Just then, Falman interrupted them. "Um, sirs, it's Starfleet again. They're requesting to talk to Hughes."

Mustang scowled. "Onscreen."

Just then, the transmission came on. Hughes gulped. He sure wasn't expecting this....

"Hello, Hughes-san." The man on the view screen said."We've been expecting you.

Hughes stared in shocked silence as cold sweat dripped from the tip of his fingers.

This can't be right! No! This is impossible!

"What? Is there something wrong? Perhaps you want me to help you, hmm??" The man said smiling.

Hughes legs trembled violently, (It was as if all is spirit energy was being sucked out of him, he couldn't even look directly into the man's eyes) "N-no-- i-it can't b-be you!"

"Oh, but it can."

"Th--then h--how dare.... you trespass into this world...........Gin Ichimaru!"

N.T.T.A: "he couldn't even look directly into the man's eyes" You wonder why, don't you?


	4. Chapter 4

Ichimaru looked somewhat annoyed, and then nodded to someone off-screen. Hughes let out a scream, collapsing to the ground in agony.

"Refer to me as Captain Ichimaru. Remember, I still have control over you since your last adventure into my world."

"You know that was an accident... what are you doing here?!"

"An accident?" Ichimaru ignored the latter question. "You interfered with the goings-on of the Bleach timeline."

"I couldn't just let my alternate ego ruin his position in Bleach."

"Hmmm, you're right...... then first I'll kill YOU!" He gives Falman an icy stare. Falman gulped.

Roy interrupted. "Wait a moment, Hughes. You were in the Bleach universe?"

Hughes shrugged. "I had to find some way of hiding from the homunculi...."

Ichimaru scowled. "All of this talking is getting us nowhere. Now, down to the real reason I came here. The reason I used my time and effort to come to this universe, and talk to you, Hughes, is because....

"....I wanted to know, do you still refuse my offer I made to you so long ago?"

"Of course I refuse. I would never stoop so low as to--" Ichimaru cut him off with a wave of his hand, and Hughes fell on the floor with agony, rasping for breath.

"Oh come on Maes, it will be like the old times. You and me, working side by side."

"Never! Just go away! You don't belong here!"

"Neither did you Maes, neither did you. Don't you remember?

"Er, captain, please stand by!" Mustang cut off the transmission, then turned angrily to Hughes. "What is he talking about? What happened to you?"

Hughes looked down. "It all started like this..."

[White flash of light]

After I was shot, I was in a vast white expanse. In front of me stood a vast gateway. The doors opened wide, and I was sucked in. I knew I couldn't die, not yet. There was still so much I needed to do in life; I couldn't afford to die... I watched my body begin to dissolve, and pushed harder. The exit was ahead of me, I just had to reach it...

Hughes hit the ground with a thud. Where am I? He looked around, straightening his glasses. He realized he was in some kind of run-down town. He stood, and caught a glimpse or a person moving through the alley. "Excuse me! Where is this place?"

The person turned to him. "It's the Rukon District, where spirits go when they pass on. Did you just arrive?"

"Pass on? You mean like die!? What- How could this be happening?!?" Hughes pounded the wall angrily with a fist. "What's going on here!?!"

The man backed away in surprise. What's wrong with this guy? Didn't the Soul Reaper who sent him tell him anything?! Oh, geez... why do I always have to be the one who tries to comfort disturbed souls.......? Then he looked at the man ravenously clawing at the brick wall. This won't be easy....

"Um... Hello, my name is Atsuko Kohaku. What's yours?" He said offering a hand.

Hughes looked up glaring, but then sighed and slid down the wall into a sitting position head in hands.

"Maes Hughes, Rank: Lt. Colonel of the Amestrian Military............ If you can.... I'd really appreciate it, if you could explain how I got here..."

Kohaku pulled his hand back awkwardly... why was this always the hardest part to explain?!

"Um well there's only pretty much one way you can enter the Rukon distract....."

"Well!?!"

"Well...... um...... you probably..... died."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

NTTA: YAYS NEW CHARACTER!! Do NOT kill him like you did to Perrin.

Kohaku decided to try and make pleasant conversation. This person seemed nice enough.... "So, where is Amestris, anyway? I've never heard of it before...."

Hughes looked up from his mourning. "De....Dead?" He collapsed on the ground in a daze.

Kohaku sighed. It always took a while to get used to it. He didn't know what to do with this Hughes....

Suddenly, Hughes stood. He smiled, glasses tinting over. "Think you for your help. I'm sure there's something going on here. Could you direct me to your superiors?"

Kohaku was startled. He was just moaning a moment ago.... "By superiors, do you mean the soul reapers?"

Hughes looked surprised. "Soul reapers?"

Kohaku was starting to get annoyed. Who sent him here, anyway? They should have done some explaining....

"Um... well..." Kohaku started, but was suddenly cut off as the building right behind him burst into flames.

"DUCK!!!" Hughes screamed but Kohaku was too slow and was crushed by the flaming building.

"No.... NO!" Hughes cried. This could only mean one thing. "I'm in the world of the stereotypical anime. Where all the random characters no one cares about get killed off!" Wait; get a hold of yourself..... If I was in the world of the stereotypical anime, the random characters (and all others) have to SURVIVE..... Just then, he saw Kohaku emerge from out of the flames unscathed.

"Hi! I'm alright! This sort of thing happens all the time, but no harm will come of it!"

Hughes groaned. "How could this have happened!?"

Kohaku adopted a serious expression, and gave Hughes a knowing look. "The power of the anime, my friend."

Suddenly, Kohaku falls to his knees {Weird sheen paces through scene} and blood comes dripping from his mouth.

"Atsuko! NOO!!!" Hughes screamed.

Kohaku smiles weakly, and then takes out a piece of paper."It's okay..... Just please deliver this letter to-- BLEEEEHHHGGG!" Blood came squirting from his mouth...

"NOOO!! ATSUKOOO!!!!!"

Atsuko's eyes cloud over. "Damn you Kira... uh.... gurg."


	5. Chapter 5

A voice resonated from all around. "I see what has happened. It appears that you have the ability to kill from long range, and by methods other than a heart attack. In fact, that was not the real L. He was just the random character that had to be wiped out. Kira, I'm one step closer to finding you."

Hughes stared. Who was this L person, anyway? And why did he kill Kohaku? Oh well.... He picked up the letter from Kohaku's corpse, and tore it into tiny pieces. No more obligation....

Meanwhile, back at the seireitei, a certain blond lieutenant was feeling very confused. Someone was looking for him?

Hughes sighed. What a rough day... I should go find a place to go and lie down...

He turned around then looked up... then screamed.

There standing behind him was a hideous creature. It was about eight feet tall with huge black wings spread across its back and two round strange yellow eyes.

The creature looked down at Hughes in surprise. "You can see me?"

Hughes stared at the creature cold sweat dripping down his face.

"Oh, well now that's interesting! I thought that the person had to actually be holding the note book, not just a piece of paper from it, for ownership to be passed on when the original owner died..." The creature muttered to himself.

"W--who--, w-w-hat are you?" Hughes stuttered.

"Oh, I'm Ryuk. Nice to meet'cha"

"Um...Ryuk..... What exactly are you?"

"Oh me? I'm a Shinigami. By the way that notebook is yours now..." Ryuk said pointing to a small black book lying beneath Kohaku's corpse.

"SHINIGAMI!!!!" Hughes yelled falling to the ground. "AM I SUPPOSED TO ACCEPT THE EXISTENCES OF SUCH A THING!!??" Hughes then walked over to Kohaku's corpse and picked up the notebook, brushing off the ashes from the cover.

"Death Note?" He said as he read the front cover. "As in a notebook of death?"

Ryuk sighed. Why do they always say that?

NTTA: NOW HUGHES WILL BECOME THE GOD OF THIS NEW WORLD!

By the way, if you're confused... The note Kohaku gave to Hughes was written on a piece of paper from the Death Note, so when he died ownership of the Death Note was passed on to Hughes. Kohaku was the original "Kira" but since he knew his life was coming to an end he had to take drastic measures for "Kira" to live on and gave Hughes that note.

Kira (Blonde Lieutenant) has nothing to do with it...

L sat in his chair, surveying the motley group assorted around him. He idly chewed on a cherry. _Why do I have to be stuck with the lamest characters of this whole fan-fic?_

Before him sat all of the task force members:

Byakuya (Mogi)

Renji (Aisawa)

Yamamoto (the Chief)

Hanataro (Matsuda)

L sighed. They would all have to be killed very soon, so he could work alone on this Kira case.

Renji spoke up. "Uh.... I know someone named Kira..."

L glared. "There are a lot of people calling themselves Kira...."

Meanwhile, back at the ranch....

Hughes watched the body of the person whose name he had just written in his notebook collapse on the ground. His eyes widened as the realization hit him. "I.... I just killed someone..... Does that make me a murderer? No, the world would be a much better place without them.... I must eliminate all of these stagnant, two-dimensional un-dynamic characters from this series."

NTTA: He keeps a needle in a special compartment built into his glasses, as well as a piece of the Death Note.

After a few days in the Soul Society......

"Hehe... heh heh heh... HEH HEH HEHHEH!!!!!! HAHAAHHAHA!!!!!"

He has been doing that sort of thing a lot recently....Ryuk thought as he looked worriedly at Hughes....

Hughes then turned to Ryuk with blood-shot eyes and saliva dripping from his chin. "HEH HEH heh! RYUK DON'T YOU SEE!!?? THIS IMMENSE POWER!!! I-II- OH BLISS!!!!

Ryuk sighed. I miss Light....

(Bleach theme 1 plays randomly in the background)

Later...

(Ryuk and Hughes are Walk/flying down the road...)

"Ryuk, I've been wondering..."

"Wondering what?!" Ryuk responded in sweet, high-pitched voice.

Hughes shot him a glare but then sighed."I've been using the Death Note a lot lately but I feel it still isn't enough... I want to make an impact on this world and that's not going to happen if I just kill random insignificant characters that no one cares about..."

"True true..."

"So Ryuk, I've decided that I'm going to join the Soul Reaper Academy, and by doing that I can become more noticed and get the names of soul reapers that people actually care about... and then... kill them. MUHAHAHAH!!"

"Okay."

"~~~~~Time Warp~~~~~ (Random Academy stuff, being eaten by Hollows, being accepted into royal family houses...etc...)

(All the accepted soul Reapers sitting in a huge auditorium)

"AND NOW FOR THE FINAL STUDENT ADDRESSES!!" The random guy at the podium yelled. "COME UP TO GIVE YOUR SPEECHES, MAES HUGHES, AND SORA INOUE!!"

Hughes stood up proud and happy, then slowly walked over to the podium followed by a scraggly figure with blue jeans and a wrinkled long-sleeved white shirt.

Hughes reached the podium and took a side long glance at the strange person. Who is this guy?!?!

He and the other guy finally finished and were seated once again.

The strange man suddenly turned looking directly in Hughes' direction. "Name: Maes Hughes, rank in the Amestrian army: Lieutenant Colonel... You are an investigations officer, and your favorite food is Turkish delight, am I right?"

(Thinking) WHO IS THIS GUY? Is it safe just to ignore him...? No...No he knows too much... I should eliminate him as soon as possible.... what was his name again? Inow... inuy... Inoue Sora that's it!

"Um Hughes-san, I wanted to tell you something that might relate to your remaining life span..."

"Yes, what is it?"

"I wanted to tell you... I'm L." (Echo effect)

Hughes was confused.... "Who?"

"L" looked slightly offended. "You don't remember me? Pity.... My voice... that was mine resonating around when your friend died..."

"Oh that was you? I thought that was some godly force or something..."

"Well you _could _say that..." (Sparkle)

"Oh well whatever... I'm going to go home now..." Hughes sighed; he was getting bored of this L person's conversation.

"Well, see you around campus.... I mean the Seireitei....."

"Okay, bye!" And at that, Hughes skipped off happily, knowing he can eliminate another enemy using the power of the Death Note.

Good bye, Sora Inoue... heh HEH HEH!!

(40 seconds after writing...)

Sora Inoue

Dies in car accident.

A certain unlucky anime character dies in a car accident resulting to his little sister being forever depressed, in till of course she meets..._ that girl_...

(FMA ending 3 randomly starts playing in the background)

The Chief: M-My son... how can he watch such horrible things!??!"

L: It's normal for a 17 year old boy (Stares at Winry and Den hungrily)


	6. Chapter 6

[After a few days]

Hughes was walking around the Seireitei, looking for something to do.... when he saw L walk up to him eating a moldy-looking scoop of ice cream. L stared at him. "Want some?"

Hughes stared at the green blob. It was highly suspicious. "Er... no thanks."

L shrugged. "I just wanted to tell you that now your chances of being Kira are 99%."

Hughes gasped, sweating nervously. "Now how'd you come to that conclusion....?"

L sighed. "You're the only one I've ever suspected, so you must be. That's the way these investigations go. How many detective stories have you read when they randomly make some unknown person the killer?"

"Um....."

"Enough of this small talk. Let's go sit down somewhere and have a drink...."

Hughes knew just the place to go....

Hughes and L sat in a small bar. A small pile of empty sake glasses sat in front of them.

L patted Hughes drunkenly. "You know, you're the only one I've ever considered to be a true friend."

Hughes smiled warmly. "But I don't even know you're real name yet."

L shrugged, standing up, and shouting "IT'S TIME FOR THE -------- -------------- SHOW!"

"Sit down, you're drunk." Hughes pushed L back into his seat. "So, what's your name?"

L stared intensely. "Maybe next time you'll be able to understand my name."

(A few more days later)

[All the young soul reapers standing in another huge auditorium, with another random guy standing at the podium]

The random guy got up and adjusted the mic, then cleared his throat. "Umhuph! TO ALL THE YOUNG SOUL REPERS HERE TODAY, I'D LIKE TO CONGRATULATE YOU, FOR MAKING IT THIS FAR IN LIFE AND BECOMING FULLY-FLEDGED SHINIGAMI!"

"SHINGAMI!?! AM I SUPPOSED TO ACCEPT THE EXISTENCE OF SUCH A THING!?!?"

L screamed beside Hughes. Why does he always do that..? Suddenly realization hit him.

"Hey! I thought I killed you!" Hughes yelled turning to L.

"What was that?"

"AND NOW, I MYSELF, HAVE THE HONOR OF PRESENTING WHICH SQUAD YOU'VE BEEN CHOSEN TO BE IN!"

Everyone groaned and the chorus of 'please not squad 12' reverberated around the auditorium.

"HIROTO AKIKO, SQUAD 5."

Hughes looked up in surprise as he heard a blood curling scream come from someone from the front row then the sound of coughing up of blood.

The list went on and on 'till finally,

"Maes Hughes, and Sora Inoue, YOU WILL BOTH BE IN SQUAD..."

...3! Now that you all have your squads, report first thing tomorrow morning. Dismissed."

Hughes walked out of the auditorium, deep in thought. _Squad 3, huh? I wonder what it will be like.... _Having the death note and going to the academy in recent days, he had almost forgotten about his past and the family he had left behind, but now the longing for the life he once had hit him, and he sat on the ground. A shadow cast over him. He looked up to see L standing above him.

"Something wrong, Hughes-san?"

Hughes stood, faking a smile. "No, I'm fine." He didn't want to ask L how he had survived, that would draw too much suspicion. "Er....See you at Task Force Head- I mean Squad 3 tomorrow!" Hughes hurried off. L stood, confused.

NTTA: So when do we get to the point about the 'working together' and the 'deal' stuff, hmmmm?

The next day....

All the new "Squad 3" recruits stood at attention as they waited nervously.

Suddenly a man walked into the room and stood in front of the crowd.

"Hello and welcome everyone!" The man said cheerfully. "I'm Kira."

Hughes and L stood in shocked silence.

Who is this guy?! He's not Kira. Maes Hughes is certainly Kira. What is he trying to accomplish by trying to pretend to be Kira?!?! This doesn't make sense... Both Hughes and L thought.

The man claiming to be Kira went on.

"The Captain Gin Ichimaru was busy today, so I came just to show you around and teach you just some of the basics that all Shinigami must know."

"SHIMGAMI!! A--" L was cut off from a hard hit on his back by Hughes.

"Shut up L..."

L decided he needed to do some investigating, and quickly. He watched 'Kira' as he exited a room, chatting with a young, purple-haired female. They parted ways, and L walked up to the young female. She gave him a cheery smile. "Hi! My name's Momo. You're the new Squad 3 recruit, right? Kira was just telling me about you."

_She openly admits he's Kira? What the heck's going on here!?_ L stared at her. "What are your thoughts on Kira?"

Momo looked at him thoughtfully. "I think Kira's nice. He's a good friend, and I feel he has a good sense of right and wrong. We've been friends since our academy days. Why do you ask?"

_That was just an open confession of being the second Kira! But why.... _"You're under arrest for being the second Kira. Do not try to resist."

Momo looked surprised. "S-second Kira? I'm not sure what you mean by that..."

L shrugged. "Just come with me."

Byakuya (Mogi)

Rengi (Aisawa)

Squad 1 captain (the Chief)

Hanataro (Matsuda)

Hughes stood in the shadows watching the whole scene and smiling happily.

Since those two are going to become the main suspects of being Kira and the second Kira, all the suspicion will be thrown off of me.... And also I've come in contact with L... so all I have to do is get his name and I'll KILL him. Hughes thought.

Then he turned. "Ryuk, I want to do the trade... I want the eyes!"

He waited for a moment, realizing that nothing was happening....

"Uh RYUK! I WANT THE EYE TRADE!" Hughes yelled getting annoyed.

"Umm... Hughes... I think you dropped your Death Note..."

"WHAT!?!"

He turned to the crowd of people, and saw with horror. A young boy was standing there holding a small black book.

"Hey Maes..." Ryuk muttered. "You still want it?"

"Uh, want what?" Suddenly his vision clouded over with red. And when he opened up his eyes again, he could see could see all the names and life spans floating over the people's heads.

And he barely made out "Hanataro Yamade" as the boy ran out of the auditorium.

"Hey Maes... I think I might warn ye', if you can't get that notebook back in 490 days, ownership is going to transfer to that little guy that just ran out...."

"I know Ryuk.... I know...."

"Snow" (Hey oh) plays in background...

L turned around confused, "Has anyone seen Matsuda around recently?"

Mogi (Byakuya) "...."

The Chief. "I heard he was too busy today to come today..."

"Oh, pity... I wonder what he's up to..." L sighed munching on a Hello Panda.

(At Hanataro's house)

"Delete! DELETE! DElete! Delete! Delete!!!! Delete DELETEEE!!!!!!


	7. Chapter 7

[A few days later]

Matsuda is sitting on a park bench, humming to himself happily. He had the notebook in his bag. "I wonder where that Shinigami is.... I haven't seen it since I got the Death Note......"

L sat watching him with the cameras he conveniently placed around Matsuda's favorite bench in the park. He stared intently at the screen, until.....

"SHINIGAMI!? AM I SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE THIS? THAT SHINIGAMI ACTUALLY EXIST!?!?!" He collapsed on the ground, shivering in fright.

Mogi decided he'd speak up. ".............................."

"That's the most I've heard out of him since we got here." Renji muttered.

L stood, eating something small and brown. "Mmmmm....We'd better do something, but what...?"

The Chief stood. "Well it's obvious that Kira and Momo aren't Kira.... It's Hanataro. Why else would he be talking about Shinigami and a Death Note?!"

L winced. _I was.....WRONG!? No, it CAN'T BE......_

Meanwhile, Hughes was plotting how to get his Death Note back. He felt around in his pocket, and suddenly realized he had left a scrap of the Death Note in it. He pulled it out, ready to write that thief's name down. _He'll pay for taking my Death Note.... _He froze. _How was his name spelled? What was it again? It was just so ordinary, I can't even remember it! _

Hanateru Yamada

Or was it...

Hanataru Yamade?

"ARG THIS IS USELESS!!! HOW AM I GOING TO GET HIS NAME???!!!"

Hughes yelled throwing down the piece of paper from the Death Note.

Hughes sighed and concentrated on the paper. Is there any way to get his name?

"Hmmm........ I've got it!"

Hughes looked up smiling and his eyes glowing red.

"I feel as if a great weight has been lifted off my chest!"

Ryuk was scared.

"All I have to do to kill him is get closer to L. By doing that I'll be able to monitor him and see his name... as well as see L's name. And when I kill this Hanataro person, I'll take back the Death Note and kill L......HEhe...hehe.....EHHEH.....HAHAHAHAAH!!"

{Gnome theme plays in background}

Hughes looked down. "Hey that's my Soul Pager! Hello?"

"Oh, hey Maes! This is Inoue! I was wondering if you wanted to join my investigation group in order to catch Kira." A voice said through the speaker.

"I'd love to." Hughes replied smiling.

"Then come to my hotel room at midnight. The task force is meeting up there."

"Won't it seem kind of awkward if a bunch of guys went into a hotel room at midnight?"

"If you're really so worried, you don't have to be a part of this investigation-"

"No, never mind..... I'll be there." Hughes hastily hung up. He didn't want L to have any doubts as to his determination.

Hughes stood outside the hotel room door, and tried the handle nervously.

"Aren't you even going to knock?"

Hughes jumped. The voice had come from behind him. He turned around to see..... _Hanataro Yamade. _

Hanataro held a small black notebook in one hand.

_Now I have you.... _Hughes looked at the date above Hanataro's head, and saw.... _He's going to die tomorrow? _

Just then, the hotel room door opened. Inside was a figure with shadows under his eyes, ruffled hair and a bored expression.

L stared at Hughes. "What are you staring at?"

Hughes trembled. _This is L? He's human, but he's SCAWWEEEE........._

L glared at Hanataro. "Yamade-kun, mow many times have I told you? We're not taking notes at these meetings! You should stop bringing that notebook here."

Hanataro sighed, and put it next to a small pile of cell phones.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" A sudden scream pierced through the air.

The scream came from Matsuda who had fallen to the floor knocking over the table with the cell phones/black note book.

"Matsuda! What's wrong?!!?" Mogi shouted. Everyone stared at Mogi in shocked astonishment.

"Sh-- SHINI--- SHINIGAMI!!!!!!!" Matsuda screamed pointing in Hughes' direction.

L was confused. "Well he's training to be one..."

"NO NOT THAT!!!!" THERE BEHIND HIM!!!!" Matsuda yelled.

Aisawa sighed "Oh-no.... He's having one of his moments again....."

They all looked at Matsuda sympathetically then walked over to the assorted couches, while Hughes inconspicuously went over to the pile of fallen cell phones and hid the Death Note... Near Style....

L glared.

The four of them had a long conversation talking about Kira, and how to catch him while L was eating cake.

Finally it was over, to Hughes's relief. Now all he had to do was get home and kill all of the people on the task force including L.

The edge of Hughes mouth twitched. "Heh... HEH." but he quickly thought better of it. I never knew it would be so hard to keep myself from laughing! Hughes thought.

"Um... Hughes-san..." Hughes heard interrupting his thoughts.

He looked up and saw Inoue standing very close.

"Ahh! Don't get that close Ryuzaki!" Hughes yelled sweating.

"Oh, I'm sorry if that made you feel uncomfortable Hughes-san... I just wanted to ask you, can you stay a little longer.... I have some questions for you..."

"Uh... sure..."

"Well... I'd like you to answer this truthfully..."

"Okay..."

"You took Matsuda's notebook didn't you...?"

"Um well ..." Hughes was confused. How did he know? It wouldn't hurt to tell him.... I mean in his eyes it's just a normal note book.... it would be even worse if I lied about it and then he found it on it me. "Yes I did steal it..."

In one swift movement, L grabbed Hughes' arm and snapped a hand cuff around it. "YOU ARE UNDER ARREST FOR BEING AN ENEMY SPY!"

"Huh... what?"


	8. Chapter 8

"YOU WERE USING THE NOTE BOOK TO TAKE NOTES ON THIS SECRET MEETING, WEREN'T YOU?!?"

Hughes cursed under his breath.

TASK FORCE ILLUSTRATED

GOLDEN

Matsuda felt like he was being useless... So he walked over to L.

"Um L... I'm kinda bored; can you give me some work to do?"

L turned to Matsuda with blood-shot eyes

"You..? Give you work?!? HEH! Don't make me laugh."

"Bu-"

"WHY SHOULD I GIVE YOU A JOB?!! YOU'RE JUST A SPOILED CRYBABY AND YOU HAVE NO MANNERS!! OR MAYBE I SHOULD GIVE YOU THE MOST DIFFICULT JOB I'VE GOT, 'TILL I MAKE YOU WORK UNTIL YOU BREATHE YOUR VERY LAST BREATH!!!"

And that is the tale about how Matsuda became Misa's manager...

Hughes glared at L. He had been handcuffed and tied to a chair. Now L was staring at the Death Note as if he wanted to eat it.

"What further proof do I need that you are an enemy spy? You even took notes on all the criminals that died! Even the cause and time of death!"

Hughes sighed. He was getting tired of this. "Hey, Ryuzaki, why don't you look behind you?"

L took one look, and let out a piercing scream, collapsing on the ground. "SH-SHINIGAMI!? AM I SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE THIS? THAT SHINIGAMI ACTUALLY EXIST!?!?"

Hughes chuckled.

L stood, acting perfectly normal (or at least as normal as he usually is). "Yes, I figured as much. But this makes things a good deal more complicated....." He began to mutter to himself, gazing off for hours at a time. He began staring at the floor, transfixed by a speck of dust. Hughes thought he could see the sun coming up.

Finally, L looked up from his daze. "Mr. Shinigami, do you like sweets?'

Meanwhile.......

Gin stood in a dark hallway, holding a torch. Just when he turned to leave, a shadowed figure (SF) approached him.

"Ah, there you are.... I've been waiting here for over an hour...."

"Is it done?"

Gin nodded. "Yes. We can start the next stage of our plan."

"I love sweets!" Ryuk responded and flew over to the table and made himself a pastry.

L glared for a moment, and then walked over to Hughes. "And now Hughes-san, it is time for your interrogation."

Hughes stared back coolly at L. "Okay L, I guess I have no choice, for now, my freedom....I'll just have to GET RID OF IT."

Ryuk turned from his pastry making. "But then I'll have to posses that guy..." Ryuk said signaling to L who was still dangling the Death Note with two fingers.

"JUST DO IT WILL YOU!?" Hughes yelled.

"Fine..."

Hughes looked around confused. Where was he? Tied to a chair? Why? And why is Inoue standing there staring at a small black notebook?

"HEY! INOUE! WHAT AM I DOING HERE? IS THIS SOME KIND OF SICK JOKE?" Hughes yelled.

"Um Hughes-san, is something wrong?" Inoue asked concerned.

"IS SOMETHING WRONG? YOU STRAPPED ME DOWN, INJ--" But he was cut off by the sound of footsteps coming their way.

"Skewer that punk, Shinso."

And suddenly, out of nowhere, came a blade, slicing L's right arm off and making the notebook go flying.

L collapsed on the ground, blood pooling around his stump of an arm. Gin smiled.

"I was just coming for this." Gin picked up the notebook that was lying next to L's severed limb. "Why thank you, Maes, for conveniently leading me to it."

Hughes blinked. What the heck is going on here? Who is this person, anyway, and why did they want the notebook? "Ummm........"

"I'll have to be going now. I wouldn't recommend coming after me, seeing as I know your name and face. Goodbye." Gin turned to go.

"Not so fast." Gin turned, to see L take a ravenous bite out of a pastry. His arm began to reform, slowly taking shape. L ate another pastry. "I bet you're wondering how I could even move. Not only do my sweets increase my mental capabilities, I have also applied regenerative properties to them as well. It comes in handy. But now I have to change my shirt... This one's all blood-soaked and missing a sleeve."

L glared for a moment. "Oh, what the hell..."

And in one swift movement ripped his entire shirt off.

Hughes shielded his eyes. Though Gin didn't have to, he did the same. L was satisfied and grinned. "SO HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW hmmmm!"

Gin was NOT going to stand to be mocked in his moment of victory. "How dare you mock me!? I'm going to kill you right here!" Gin yelled, pulling out the notebook and pen.

L was confused now. "How do you know my name?"

Gin didn't. ".....well then....I'LL DO THE SHINIGAMI EYE TRADE!"

"You're not in ownership of the Death Note..." L said. "Giving "the eyes" to YOU would be impossible anyways..." Ryuk mumbled in the background.

"Well then I guess I'll have to imprison and torture you, 'till you wish you had given up ownership of the notebook this day! Kira, capture L, Oh....and get Hughes too, he may be useful."

"KIRA!!!?!?!!" Both Hughes and L said in astonishment, as the blonde shinigami L had interrogated earlier appear from the shadows.

"Open your eyes..... WABISKAI"

And before Hughes or L could say anything, both suddenly felt very, very, heavy and fell to the ground.


	9. Chapter 9

Hughes and l awoke, blindfolded, with their hands tied, in a dark chamber. They could tell it was dark, because, even through the blindfold they could only see a small amount of light from some high-up source, possibly a window.

"Where are we, L?"

"We seem to be in a dark chamber of some kind..... Spooky...."

"And dark." Hughes snapped back to reality. "Even I could figure that out. Don't you know any more?"

"Hmmm...... Let's see here..... We're in an enclosed, underground room of some sort. The ground and walls are made out of some kind of stone or concrete. There is a small window about twenty feet up along the east wall, and judging from the amount of sunlight coming in, I'd say it's around morning time. We could be in a basement or a prison facility."

"Well, that was pretty good, L..... How did you figure that out?"

"Intuition. That was the easy part. I'm sure you want to know more about where we are? Let's see..... [Pause] Ah, yes. There is a central pillar in the middle of the room, along with four more pillars in each corner. The window is barred. The door is to the west, and is locked. There are some bones and human feces in the corner where the south and east walls meet. Due to the absence of a proper light source, I can't determine how high the ceiling is..... But it seems pretty high up there. There are some carvings along the wall and pillars, messages like _help me, save me...._ and there are some tic-tac-toe boards as well.

Hughes heard a sound of scratching on the wall. Was L playing tic-tac-toe? "That was amazing, L. How the hell did you determine all of that?"

Hughes felt a loosening of the ropes around his wrist, and his blindfold come off.

L shrugged. "Simple. I untied my wrists and took off my blindfold."

Hughes was suddenly distracted from the last awkward ...PREPARE! By the sudden sensation of crawling on his foot. He looked down and saw ladybug who was now attempting to crawl up his Shinigami uniform. Awww..... How cute… he thought and reached to touch it. But he still felt the tight grip of the rope tightly tied around his wrists.

"Inoue! Unti-" Hughes looked behind himself, but Sora was gone.

"HEY! Inoue! Where'd ya go?!" Hughes yelled, starting to feel panicky.

And suddenly he felt a sharp pain in his ankle. He looked down only to regret he did.

The floor was moving. The lady bug that had once sat on his robes became bulging and transparent and seemed to be on the verge of popping by the blood in carried on its back.

Hughes gagged and then threw up as a thousand of those bugs climbed up his leg, sucking blood, and only leaving huge gaping holes filled with rotting flesh in their wake.

Hughes, at that moment, fainted.

----------------&---------------------///~~~~~~~~~,

Hughes awoke in a small, well lit room, sitting on a stool, hands unhand-cuffed, and no bugs in sight.

He heard voices around him but couldn't catch what they were saying. He sat groaning for a minute, but finally recovered and opened his eyes.

There, sitting in front of him, was a shinigami. Probably a captain by the white coat he was wearing. He had purplish/silver hair, and was smiling.

"Fal--man?" Hughes mumbled.

The figure scowled for a moment but then smiled once more.

"No..." He said. "I'm Gin Ichimaru. It's nice to meetchy'a Hughes-san; I hope we can become good friends!"

Hughes blinked. What happened to me? What am I doing here? Hughes needed some answers.

"What happened to me? What am I doing here?"

Gin smiled. "I'd love ta tell ya, but first I have a proposal ta make."

Hughes shuddered. "Sorry, but I'm not from that type of anime... You realize I'm married and I have a daughter...."

Gin grimaced. Anyone that would think that's what he meant had a sick mind. "Not that kind of proposal. NEVER that kind of proposal. Anyway, I have a deal to make..."

L opened his eyes blearily. He wished he hadn't. In front of him he saw flames roaring up, dark smoke clouding his vision. In front of him was a bath, and in it was... "Hughes-san?"

He blinked, and when he opened his eyes once more he saw two robed Shinigami. He fainted.

Tosen glared at Aizen. Aizen smiled.

Hughes glared at Gin for a moment, but then smiled.

"So you're a relative of Falman! Nice to meet you!"

Not smiling anymore, Gin, in one quick movement, drew Shinso and stabbed Hughes through his hand.

"No, Hughes-san, you're wrong."

~%~%~%~%~%~#~%~%~%~%~%~#~~#~#

L snorted with satisfaction.

"SO what are you going to do to me?" L sneered looking up at Aizen, who was pacing around him.

Aizen stopped and smiled.

"I like to stalk my prey first."

"You're sick!"

Tosen grunted with disgust, knocking both of them back to reality.

"So L..... Do you know what my Zanpaktou does?" Aizen asked unsheathing it.

"AHHH!!!! I DON'T WANT TO KNOW!!!!" L screamed, shutting his eyes very tight.

"Wait! LOOK! IT'S JUST A WATER-BASED ZANPAKOU! WATCH!!!" Aizen yelled, getting frustrated.

"I... Don't ... Want to see your... "water-based" zanpaktou! I've already fallen for that trick once.....!"

L said shivering. "Urg..... Water... based....ew....."

"What...WATCH DAMN IT!!"

"Never... NEVER." L mumbled trying to think of happier places.

Sent from my EyePod

Hughes yelped with pain, falling off of his stool. Gin pulled out Shinso, flicking off the small amount of blood and sheathing his blade. Hughes clutched his bleeding hand. Crimson blood flowed from the wound, pooling on the stone floor. Hughes wrapped his hand in the cloth of his shirt, trying to stifle the bleeding. Despite his efforts, dark blood gushed forth, covering the floor, rising, rising.... He could feel his heartbeat reverberating around the room. With each beat of his heart, more blood spilled forth, adding to the tide around him. _Wh- Why is there so much blood?_ He tried to stand, to run, and to get as far as he could.... but he was frozen in place. He couldn't move. He could only watch as the blood rose, hot and sticky against his skin.... covering his mouth, his nose, his eyes.....

Hughes opened his eyes blearily. He could hear voices echoing around him. His hand was throbbing painfully.

"What did I tell you about this?"

"An' how was I suppos'd to know that he'd faint from a little cut in his hand? I'd never do somethin' mean like that on purpose."

Hughes groaned. He'd wish the voices would go away so he could get some rest.

L squirmed as Tosen tried to force his eyes open.

"Hold still or I'll have to take harsher measures." Tosen pulled out his Zampaktou. Of course L didn't know this, seeing that his eyes were shut tight. When L was not deterred, Tosen pried L's left eye open. L's eye popped out. Tosen blinked. Aizen looked surprised.

L, still shutting his other eye, muttered, "Stop acting so surprised. It's just a glass eye."

SHINIGAMI ILLUSTRATED BOOK

Gin stood. "Today we're discussin' how Tosen-san is blind an' why that's even possible. You see, he's a soul an' all, an' we have to have a reason for 'im t' bee blind... He can explain...."

Tosen stepped into the scene. "You see, I made a mistake. I closed my second eyelid too long. Every time I did, I saw this river of light. And every time I wanted to go into the river of light I saw, this one guy who sat strangely and was always eating sweets told me not to. Of course I ignored him. Then some creatures ate out my eyes. Some person came along and got rid of them. Still, my eyes got eaten. I wonder if it was the same guy....."


	10. Chapter 10

Gin sighed, looking down at Hughes's body (soul) in disgust.

"IZURU! Get over 'ere!!" Gin yelled angrily.

Kira quickly shunpoed there knowing his captain was very mad. "What is it, master?"

"Heal him now!" Gin ordered, pointing to Hughes body. "Former squad 4 officer."

"U-uh...uh...y-yes sir.... B- ut... That was a long time ago... Sir..." Kira stuttered slowly, backing away.

"Do it now, or I'll do to ye', what I did to my first lieutenant!"

"Oh.... Will you sir? Well I'm tired of following your orders!!!! BANKAI!" Kira yelled as his sword transformed into something that had a considerable resemblance to his Shikai release form..... Except... Bigger...

"The power of my BANKAI is to quadruple the weight of and thing it strikes!" Kira boasted. "Nothing you would expect considering my Shikai release, eh...?"

Gin smiled and slowly drew his sword. "This will be fun...........Ban........ KAI!

To be continued...

PREVIEW: For episode 11100000075

"Gin's BANKAI is shown; Kira is beaten up a lot"

Watch it next week! See you then!

Gin smiled. "This will be fun. Ban.... KAI!"

[The following has been removed from the Bleach series due to lack of creativity from the producers. We apologize.]

[Crunching noises can be heard in the background]

[Kira's voice]: Agh! It's HUGE! Please, NO! NOOOOOOOO!

[Gin's voice]: (Chuckle)

[Now we return to Bleach....]

Kira laid curled up on the floor, whimpering. "Never..... Again....."

Gin smiled, sheathing his sword (in its unreleased form). "Well now you know why squad three is the squad of despair."

"Yeah, well it's all starting to make sense now..... I will never go against you again, just please..... "

Gin shrugged. "Why doncha heal him for now?" Gin said, pointing in Hughes's direction.

Kira looked over at Hughes. Hughes had fainted.

L glared, then snorted. Why haven't I have much screen-time recently? He thought. What was I doing last anyway?

(Ripple effect) (Flashback sound effect)

L, still shutting his other eye, muttered. "Why are you acting so surprised? It's just a glass eye.

Both Aizen and Tosen gasped, backing away.

"A-are y-you, what they call.... A Hunter?!?" Tosen stuttered.

"The one and only!" L said grinning

Aizen ran screaming for help, and Tosen was about to do the same.

"WAIT!" L yelled. And Tosen stopped in his tracks.

"If you help me escape, I will restore your eyesight.

"Wha...- But that's not possi-"

"It is. Now untie these ropes." L growled. "I really shouldn't be helping you, I'd already warned you, if you get to close to the River of Light, you'll burn."

"That was you?"

Next episode:

Will Tosen join L, or not.

And

Will Kira be able to heal Hughes in time?

Find out in episode 10000000000005903

Kira stood, and walked over to Hughes. Hughes breathed shallowly. Kira narrowed his eyes, all signs of worry leaving as he saw Hughes on the bed. "I have to operate on him NOW. Give me that hypo spray..."

Gin watched in amazement, following Kira's every command. The operation.... It was _perfect..._

_"_But how...? It's barely even retracting!" Gin blinked, and then realized that he couldn't blink. This caused a few seconds of confusion.

Kira wiped the sweat off of his brow. "That's all I can do for now. I managed to avoid hemorrhaging the inner cyphellisis, but I'm not sure how cleanly it will heal up..."

Hughes opened his eyes blearily. "You're the best doctor ever.... I know I'll get better with YOU treating me..."

Kira backed away. "That's the drugs talking..."

**************************************************** --- A very long curse

L sighed. "Just get me out of here. Do you know where the Death Note is hidden? We need to get it."

L followed Tosen down the hallway. _The only way to restore his sight is to give him..... The SHINIGAMI EYES!_

Episode 10000000000000000000000005

"Eyeballs"

"Zanpaktou....~~~~~~

L held the Death Note, drooling. Tosen glared. "Now, restore my eyesight or I'll have to kill you."

L looked at Tosen, then back at the Death Note. "Ryuk.... come...."

7 hour later........

Ryuk slowly came though the westward wall.

"You called for me..."

"Oh yes.' L said. "I want you to give the Shingami eyes to him." He pointed to Tosen.

"What's your name?" Ryuk asked.

Tosen glared.

"I'll give up ownership, and then, if Tosen-san becomes the owner you'll be able to give him the "eyes", right?"

L then turned to Tosen. "I want you to promise me that you will give me the Death Note back when you're done, okay?"

Tosen merely nodded.

"Well then.... I guess I'll have to GET RID OF IT!" L yelled tossing the Death Note to the ground.

A moment later, L's eyes became wider then they had been before, and he began wandering around the room, not knowing where he was.

Tosen ignored L, and picked up the Death Note. "Shingami...... Give me the EYES!!

A moment later

"AGGGGG!!!! THERE'S SOMTHING IN MY EYES!!" Tosen looked around, confused for several minutes, but then finally came to his senses. "So, this is what it's like to have vision..."

Ryuk was even more confused, he hadn't even given him the Shinigami eyes yet. But he did see something dark shoot into Tosen's eyes.... Ahhh.... well... he'll probably be wondering why he can't see names above people's heads... but why should I care..... And Ryuk walked off into a different room.

Tosen ignored Ryuk, and drew his sword. Now all I have to do is kill L, then I can bring the world to justice with this Death Note, he thought.

He looked around, expecting to see L drooling on the floor somewhere.... but... he was gone!

Tosen sighed.... and took out a pen. Well I might start punishing criminals who have no right to live....

And decided to write.....

Kenpachi Zaraki

Tosen smiled.


	11. Chapter 11

Meanwhile, back in the Shinigami realm...

Kenpachi sat, staring glumly at the cards he had been dealt. What's the point in gambling or sleeping all the time? Oh well, it's not like there's any use for Shinigami anymore.... Zaizen (Kisuke) taught the humans how to fight the Hollows by themselves, and now we're out of the job... Kenpachi looked up, feeling a slight tingling sensation.

"Eh, what is it?" Shuhei looked up from his hand.

"Oh, nothin'... Someone just wrote my name in a Death Note... Aren't they smart enough to know that you can't kill a Shinigami that easily? Oh well." He put down a card.

$$$$$$₩"•••••••••••€€€£££¥¥¥

"Er, you don't need to follow me around... You'll get better sooner if you stay in bed..." Kira muttered. Hughes had been trailing him for the last hour, and it was getting to be quite unnerving.

"Promise me you'll stay here and treat me forever!" Hughes began to drool on Kira's scalpel.

"Er, not there... Just lay down..." Kira pushed Hughes into the bed. Just then, Hughes came to his senses.

"Agh, get off me! I have a wife and daughter you know! And I'm not a firefly..."

Gin decided not to go in.

L wandered the hallways not really knowing or caring where he was going. He suddenly looked up in interest as he heard, "I'm not a firefly..." Echo though the hallways. L turned the corner, where there was a door in which he believed the sound came from. Before he could enter though, he heard a loud crash, and the breaking of glass cursing, and then suddenly, a man, with blonde hair and wearing some kind of lab coat was violently shoved out of the room, with the door slamming behind him.

"Urggggg....." He groaned. "Damn patients, stealing the DAMN SCALPELS! DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!!!!.....oh...."

Kira said, finally noticing L. "Umm... Um.... Patient trouble... 'Ye know..."

Gin smiled. Kira was becoming more and more like him...

L didn't. So he just nodded. Where have I seen you before? L thought.

"Um.... Well..." Now Kira felt very embarrassed.

Who are...? Who. OH!

"KIRA!" L screamed, pointing at Kira.

"Huh? Um... Yeah, that's me..."

"You're under arrest! Come quietly or I'll..." L was cut off, as Kira shot off, disappearing behind the corner.

"YOU WON'T GET AWAY KIRA!!" L yelled, and ran after him.

~€•€~~€€

~ Four Hours Later~

L was lying on the floor panting. "Where.... Are ...~~ you... *cough*..... Damn... you... KIRA!!!.... Urg...." L groaned. But suddenly he saw a flash, and looked up. And standing there was Kira, with a look of worry on his face.

"You're hurt...." Kira said. "I have to HEAL you!"

"ARG!!! KIRA!!!" L screamed. "CONFESS!! CONFESS!!!!!!" then he began to cough up blood.

"Let me help you! I can take you to Squad 4!"

"DON'T YOU TOUCH ME!!! YOU MONSTER!!!!" L began rasping and his eyes began to roll to the back of his head.

"Mon-...Monster??...." Kira's pupils began to shake. "NO! NOOOO!!!" Kira started to back away.

"Ohh.... You think you can get away from me that easily!!" L said, pulling out his last pastry from his......... He immediately began to regenerate.

Kira screamed and ran, quickly turning a corner. But now, L was faster.

L easily got to the corner and turned, but something caught him by surprise.

There, in a wheelchair, blocking the hallway was Hughes!

L frowned. "Get out of my way, Hughes-san. Kira's a murderer. You can't just let him get away!"

Hughes sat there. He began to tremble, tears welling up in his eyes. "You don't know... Kira didn't want any if this to happen... HE NEVER WISHED FOR ANY OF THIS!"

L blinked. What the hell was going on?

Hughes pulled out a gun from the side compartment in his wheelchair, aiming it at L.

"You should shoot for the head."

They stood there for several seconds, neither making a move. L stepped forward. "You shouldn't wield a weapon unless you're willing to use it. I could kill you now, and it would be well within my rights to do so."

Hughes could only watch as L walked past him, down the hallway. Hughes smiled.

Clack. L didn't even have time to react before...

BANG! BANG!

L felt three sharp stings to his back, and then everything melted to darkness.

"I always like to shoot from the back." Hughes chuckled, and then fainted.

Hughes opened his eyes blearily. The first thing he saw was a shining white light, a tunnel that extended into infinity... The light began to take shape, and he realized he was lying on a bed. He saw Kira enter his line of vision. "Oh it looks like you're awake... Are you okay?"

Hughes nodded drowsily. There's so many times where I should have died... So why am I still alive? It's all thanks to Kira and my incredible luck...

L opened his eyes. "KIRA!"

"Huh? L?!" Hughes jerked his head over to see L glaring at Kira.

Kira sighed. "Well it looks like you're both awake. I think the Captain has something to say to the two of you." Kira bowed and exited the room.

So that's what the Japanese bow looks like... Hughes thought, just as Gin walked in.

EXTRAS

Mello stood around in the alley, dreaming about soccer balls. He frowned. There was nothing to look forward to in life. Each day seemed to get darker and darker... He went into his house, and saw Roger talking to a man. The man quickly left, promising to contact Roger tomorrow. Roger smiled and closed the door, then turned to Mello. He leaned over him menacingly, and then kicked him to the ground. "WHY CAN'T YOU BE MORE LIKE L?!"

Later Mello joins a gang, and then teams up with Toshiro to become the world's greatest soccer team. Roger reads insect books.


	12. Chapter 12

Last time, on.....PREPARE!

So that's what a Japanese bow looks like. Hughes thought, just a Gin walked in.

NOW....... PREPARE!

Gin slowly walked in..... Smiling.

"Good morning Hughes-san....... L-san...."

Hughes snorted. "Its morning?"

Gin glared. Why do they always ask that?

"KIRA!!!" L screamed, pointing at Gin. He was very confused by this point.

"Well, I wanted 'ta tell 'ya that I got orders from the writers, and they want, 'ya to, change the setting, or add some new characters 'ta the story!" Gin grunted. "So... Temporarily, I've been granted the power of the Q by the creators, so I can change the settin' quickly."

Gin sneezed. "Well... 'ere it goes!" Then there was a big flash of ~light~ then darkness.

"KIRA!!!" L screamed.

€€€€€€€€£££££%%%%%%%%%%%^^^^^~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~,~~,,?€~€~?|~€}\•¥¥~!_£.!|'apgkajfnlsf.;'~*¥|[¥[*[^\%%[£~=_*?¥•¥\__¥~]¥~{|£]}•¥_]•]£#\~£'vfldl

Both L and Hughes woke up groaning.

"Where are we?" Hughes asked.

L threw up.

"I thought 'ya had a stronger stomach then that..." Said Gin, frowning. "Oh... And I'm not sure..."

L looked up. "We appear to be in a forest located somewhere in eastern Japan."

Hughes was confused. "What are those, Inoue?" He asked pointing to something next to a nearby tree.

"Those are jars, Hughes-san..."

"No... Not that, the weird floating, multi-colored stuff in it."

"I don't see it Hughes-san."

"That's because your eyes... Eye has been rotted out because of looking at computer screens 23 hours a day!"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Suddenly there was the sound of footsteps behind them. Breath coming fast, the three of them quickly turned around.

Standing there was a young man with pure white hair which covered one of his bright teal eyes.

"Oh, hey... I couldn't help but overhear your conversation..." The man said. "So you can see the stuff in the jars?" He was now looking at Hughes.

"Uh... Yeah... Is that bad?"

"No. NO! It's fine... What's in those jars, are what you call mushi." The man explained. "I just surprised that you could see it, I hardly EVER meet people that can mushi besides fellow mushi masters... Oh, by the way, my name is Ginko!"

Hughes looked confused, and simply nodded.

"Nice to meet you Ginko-san." L offered, trying to break the silence, but Ginko ignored L, instead looking up at Gin and gasping with astonishment.

"SO THE GINKO TOOK YOU WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG TOO?!?!?!?" Ginko said with awe, noticing Gin's hair and eyes, or lack thereof.

"Huh?"

"But... You know, if you were smart, you could've closed one of your eyes, and only sacrificed one..."

"What the hell are 'ya talkin' about?!"

"But I still can't believe I found one of my own kind! So we're buddies, right?" Ginko said, smiling.

Gin glared. "We're leaving." And at that he snapped his fingers and there was another big flash of ~light~.

"KIRA!!" L screamed.

I wonder where will be next? Gin thought. Then he looked behind him worriedly into the entrance of the Mushishi universe. I hope I didn't leave anythin' behind... Nah...

...and Gin sailed off at ludicrous speeds...

~Three hours later, somewhere in the forests of Japan~

Two men, not in the greatest of moods were hiking angrily.

"Why! Why does it always have to be us stuck in the little ending bits of the story, and somehow end up getting stuck I'm some alternate dimension?!??!" Aizen grunted.

"We are both minor characters that nobody really cares about... Oh... And the creators enjoy putting us through this; they think it's fun..." Tosen responded, looking around at all the mushi in awe.

"Oh, hey! You can see them too?" A mysterious voice resonated around.

"GOD!" Mikami yelled.

Huh? Both Aizen and Tosen thought, quickly turning around to find the voice was coming from a young man with pure white hair and teal eyes.

They stood there for a moment, in silence. Why can't see his name? Tosen wondered. Oh well...

"Oh, hey!" Ginko said again. "I'm Ginko, what's your name?"

Both Tosen and Aizen stood there in silence.

"Uh, well...."

Hughes opened his eyes blearily. _Where am I?_ He heard a grunt next to him, and then turned to see L next to him. "Inoue, where are we?"

L groaned. "Urhbbbb".

"Well wherever we are, it seems very odd."

"You mean the way that everything seems to be spinning around in circles?"

"No, I think that's just you...."

Just then the lights came on in the room. The walls were white, shiny, and looked like they were made out of cardboard or styrofoam.

"Wow, I know where we are. It's a spaceship with the new, infinite improbability drive! This is amazing!" L started to drool.

"Uh.... wow...." Hughes shrugged, and then went to go press some buttons.

After a little while, the door opened. Hughes and L looked up to see Kira enter the room.

"I think you ought to know I'm feeling very depressed."

"Uhhh.... So are you the Kira in this universe?"

Kira gave him a bored glare. (Yes, that is possible) "I've been ordered to take you up to the bridge."

L jumped up. "KIRA!"

Hughes chuckled. _Slow reaction...._

Gin sat, smiling as Hughes, Kira and L entered the room.

Hughes pointed at Gin. "We've met!"

Kira went into a corner and rusted...

[Super fast-forward mode (Note: During this time one of our characters bruises their upper arm)]

L screamed. "Agh, we're being attacked by missiles!"

Hughes blinked. "Is it safe?"

"O' course it's not safe! An' it's all 'cause you pushed that button!" Gin yelled, punching Hughes in the _upper arm_.

L then falls on Hughes, hitting his _upper arm_.

Everyone ran around crazily on the ship, knowing that death would soon befall them, when...

"Wait! I think I know a way out of this. All I have to do is _push this button_."

No one paid attention as Hughes went and _pushed a button_.

Suddenly, the ship was calm. They all looked up to see the 'missiles'.

Gin chuckled. "Eheheheh.... They turned into Aizen and Tosen."

..................

All Tosen thought as he fell was _oh no, not again..._

Mini Story!

Tosen blinked. The world seemed to be twisting away in front of him, melting, and forming a new setting. He saw the man with the white hair and teal eye, yet he was much older. He was eating ramen, when suddenly he collapsed from a heart attack because of.....

"KIRA!" Tosen looked around him. He was back in the forest and Ginko was looking at him curiously. "It's Kira.... Kira will kill you...."

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Kira bruised his upper arm.


	13. Chapter 13

Aizen's thoughts!

Ooooooooun..... Ounnnddd!!!! Grrrrr.... Gouuuuun...... -SPLAT-

Now on the surface of the planet......

€¥~£|£\\_•|¥|~~~~

"This is AMAZING!!" Hughes said in awe.

"What? This place is horrible and cold..." L said glaring...

"NO! Not this planet! This!" He shouted, shoving a strange brown thing in L's face. "I wonder what it is."

"Aizen meat." L groaned shoving Hughes away, then trotting after Gin and Kira who were already quite a few meters ahead.

Hughes glared at them as they walked off. "Well I hope you all have a really miserable time!" and began to walk the other way.

But suddenly standing in front of him was..... GINKO!

~~~~~~~~,~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

L looked around. "Where did Hughes-san go?" he asked.

"Oh.... He'll be fine!" Gin said

Kira muttered something about oceans.

__________---------_______----_-/-/\.\-----

"Who are you?" Hughes asked.

"Names are not important.....follow me....." Ginko muttered.

"HUH? Why should I?"

"WE WILL BE LATE! Follow!" Ginko demanded.

Hughes decided to follow.

In Ginko's hover thing powered by

Mushi!

"You know, it's really hard for me to keep calling you you or it.....

Really what's your name?" Hughes asked.

Ginko sighed. "If you must know...... I am..... I AM..... I

AM YOU!!!"

Hughes shrugged. "Yeah, I get that a lot..."

In the place...

"But that... That looks just like Amestris!" Hughes looked at the manga plans anxiously.

"Amestris mark two, actually.... I believe it is something like Tales of Tomorrow...."

"But.... HOW?"

"Your whole was thought up if created by, and developed by manga artists!"

"BUT HOW CAN THIS BE?!?!?!? THAT's like saying my world doesn't exist!"

"Well... Let me show you how it all started..." Ginko pressed a button and Hughes got his brain fried by a laser pointer.

As Hughes sat on the large spine... This is what he saw..

())))()()())())()))))))))$())$(()())()()()())))*flash forward sound*

Trey yawned. What a long day... he thought blowing out the candle at the corner of his desk. He sat there for a moment, in the darkness, flexing his now sore fingers..... Hmmmm... Very long day....

He got up from his chair and put on his coat. I wonder if I got my package yet... Might as well check...

He walked down the corridor, and to a small row of mailboxes. He walked to 438 and opened it... Slowly....

Hughes blinked... The video had stopped. "YOU! What happened?"

Ginko glared, "Well, that was the end of the tape..."

"Oh... Okay" Hughes said and began getting off the large spine.

"WAIT! Don't you want to know what happens next?"

"No, not really..."

"YOU MUST!!!" And Ginko shot another laser beam at Hughes

To be continued...

Extras:

Aizen and Tosen groaned. "Where are we?" Aizen asked.

"YOUR FATE WILL BE DECIDED HERE!!" A voice echoed around them, and suddenly, a cloaked figure stood before them.

"AHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!" Aizen screamed and jumped away.

The figure ignored him and turned to Tosen.

"WILL YOU, TOSEN! PAY 40 EXPERIENCE POINTS TO RETURN TO THE SOUL SOCIETY...? OR, PAY 12 GOLD TO GO TO A PLACE NEAR WHERE YOU PERISHED?"

"Soul Society." And suddenly, he was gone, now as the 8th seat of squad 4.

The figure now turned to Aizen. "NOW YOU, AIZEN! WOULD YOU, PRY AT THE STATUE FOR GEMS?"

"Uhhh.... Yeah!" Aizen said.

...He was sent to the world of Goo...


	14. Chapter 14

Hughes shuddered. Ugggggh....

He looked up to see Trey walk over to the mailbox and sssslllooowwwlllyyy ooooppppeeeennnn iiiiiiittttttt.......

.....

....

It was empty. Trey sighed.

The video ended.

"Wha'? What was the point in that?"

"It is symbolic of the emptiness of your world." Ginko said in a deep, knowledgeable voice. He had even changed into a special robe for it.

Hughes was very frightened by this. "Wait a second.... You're not Ginko...."

Ginko glared at him. "You just had to ask, didn't you? Here, come with me. This might clear some things up."

Ginko led Hughes to a room, and then opened the doors. Inside, Hughes saw his friends Gin, Kira and Inoue, and there were.....

"UGGG! THERE ARE CRAB PEOPLE ON THE TABLE!"

L motioned for him to sit.

---------

Crab people, crab people

Looks like crab, tastes like people.

---------

Extras!

Tosen sighed. Where are we this time?

Aizen screamed and ran away.

Well, that was fast..... Wait, we're out of time....!

------

Ataaaaaaaack of the killer Crab People....

Ataaaaaaaack of the KILLER CRAB PEOPLE!

"Here try some of this!" Gin said handing Hughes a brown thing.

Hughes looked at it questioningly. "What is it?"

"Aizen meat."

"Oi! Crab People, I have the new designs for east city in Amestris!" Ginko said.

"Well... Actually, I do not believe we will not need those designs any longer!" One of the crab people said.

"WHAT! BUT WHY?!?!?!"

"This human here... Was from Amestris..." The crab people said motioning to Hughes.

"SO?" Shouted Ginko. "How will you get the information about Amestris from him?!?!"

"We will EAT the man!" One of the crab people said.

"WHHAAAAT?!?" Hughes asked.

"YES! Let us eat the man! If we eat him, we will gain his knowledge, and make a way better map of Amestris!! MUHAHAHAHA!!!!" The other crab person added.

"I think... Maybe we should leave..." L said, and began to get up.

"OH NO YOU DON'T!!!!" Both crab people said, growing ten times in size. "WE ARE GOING TO EAT ALL OF YOU PITIFUL HUMANS!!!"

/to be continued\

Extras:

Umm...

Tosen looked up, and in horror realized where they had gone. NO... NOT HERE! NOT -

......

..

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...

FISTY'S BOG!

"And then we will eat all of you pitiful humans!"

Gin frowned. "I'm not 'uman... I'm a Shinigami..."

L screamed. "SHINIGA-"

"C'mon, let's go..." Hughes dragged L and Gin away in a panic.

Hughes walked along the hallway in silence, Gin and L following.

Hughes sighed. "I think this flashback is going nowhere..."

"Wha' was that?" Gin asked.

"Oh nothing. Rather blunt, really..."

------- Due to a strange time/space anomaly, Hughes's words were carried to a faraway land, where Jin the sword-sharpener was sitting around his house, and just thought "I think this flashback is going nowhere..." Just then, all of his family and friends turned into green moldy things... And his life was thrown into despair....

Hughes was getting quite tired of his flashback. What was the point, anyway? Why was Gin given the powers of the Q?

"Okay, Gin." Hughes said. "You have two minutes to say your proposal plan thing or I'm ending this flashback right now!"

"How do you end a flashback?" L asked, staring off into the distance.

"Well you have to have some kind of signal to remind you you're in a flashback... Like.... THE MOON!" Hughes points to a moon that can be seen out of a conveniently placed window.

Kira goes to a car park.

Extras

Aizen was wondering what to do. Now that Gin was away, he could do whatever he wanted. And he had something special in mind...

Just then, Tosen came in and shot Aizen, shooting him through the heart. He later sells him to the Crab People so that they could have Aizen meat.

Not jokin'.

Gin sighed with frustration. "Ahh... Well I guess it is kinda time to tell ya..."

EXTRAS

Momo charged into the room, sword drawn. "HOW DARE YOU ATTACK AIZEN-SAMA! KILLING A FELLOW SHINIGAMI! YOU DISGUST ME!"

Tosen looked up surprised. "Well... It's to late now any way... I already chopped him up and sold him to the crab people..."

"You chopped him up...? Only...? Do not underestimate the captain of squad 5! HE IS NO ORDINARY SHINGAMI! HE IS A CRAB-SHINIGAMI!"

Meanwhile....

AIZEN BEGAN TO REFORM IN FRONT OF THE CRAB PEOPLE'S EYES...

Aizen glared at the cowering crab people. "And you actually believe that you can be called crab people? You can't even turn into mist or bats?!?! You're just maggots!" Aizen spat... Then ate them.


	15. Chapter 15

"You have a choice." Gin said, leaning back in a floating, triangular chair that had just appeared. "Either die in the vacuum of space… Or join me as I become the god of this new world!"

"Oh, that's easy… I choose die in the vacuum of space."

"How can ye say that, hmmm…?" Gin asked, pulling the Death Note out of his -----…

Hughes's eyes got wider, and he began to drool. "MY….. PRRRECIOUS!"

L sat in a corner, watching as Hughes's eyes nearly popped out of his head, and vaguely wondering how Gin had gotten the notebook back from Tosen. Oh well… Guess I have to DO something…

By now Hughes had a sizeable drool puddle under his tongue. "GIVES US THE NOTEBOOKSIS!"

Gin drew Shinso. "If you want it, come and claim it."

L walked up to Gin. "My only disadvantage is that I'm not willing to go out in the open." L said, taking the Death note and walking off.

A few seconds of silence passed.

"HE STOLE IT FROM US!" Hughes went bounding after L.

Gin sighed. "Guess I'll get back to some more shoutin'…"

******

L collapsed on the ground, exhausted. He held up the notebook between two fingers, wondering what it would be like to write just one name, to feel the power when you watch that person die before you powerless to stop it…

"No!" L gasped. "I… have… to destroy it…" He heard footsteps coming towards him… He looked out of the cave he was hiding in to see one of the Espada coming towards him, riding a black horse… He was after the Death Note…

As the Espada drew closer, L realized that it was…. Yammy Rialgo.

I… have to write his name down…. If I don't, the Espada will find the Death Note, and Gin will become the god of this new world…

But I can't use the Death Note… It's power is too strong… I won't be able to control it…

Yammy's footsteps came closer and closer. L held in his breath… And realized what he had to do, for the sake of the world.

He took out the notebook, and, with shaking hands, wrote down the name… Yammy Rialgo.

He hears a crunching noise, and looks out to see Yammy collapse on the ground. "It… It worked…"


	16. Chapter 16

Hughes blinked. Where am I? What am I doing? He quickly wiped the saliva that had covered his chin away.

What had just happened?

He looked up as he heard someone sneeze in front of him. Crouching In a corner was L, holding the Death Note between two fingers, eyes glowing red.

"Hello Hughes-san..." He said smiling.

"Nice day ain't it?"

"YOU'RE NOT L!!!" Hughes yelled, and began to turn and run.

"Oh.... You just had to say it..." and suddenly the creature before him turned into a tall tube like creature. "YES!!! YOU ARE CORRECT!! I'M ESPADA 9, AARONIERO ARRURUIERE!!!"

"Ahhh.... I see..." Hughes sighed. "So you want to fight me?!?" He asked and began to rip off his shirt.

"NOO!!" He said backing away. "I need you to help me."

"WHHHHAAAAT?" Hughes's eyes began to pop out. "Why should I help YOU?!?!"

"Well... It's complicated, but to put it simply... A few years from now you will return to your own universe again and then be transported to an... Enterprise... There, your so called friends were holding me hostage and experimenting on me!!! Luckily though, I was able to escape then disguised as..." His voice trailed off.

"WHO? WHO DID YOU DIGUISE AS?!!" Hughes yelled, but realized that 9 was slowly disintegrating into nothingness.

"NO!! NO NOT YET!!!" 9 yelled. He then turned to Hughes. "Meet me in the FUTURE!!!!!" and at that he disappeared.

In the future, huh? I wonder what it will be like… be like… be like…

Hughes opened his eyes. He was on some futuristic ship of some kind, and across from him was… himself! "Agh! Where am I?!" No one seemed to notice this outburst.

Exactly where you were, I think… A small voice answered in his head.

"So you mean I traveled in time, but not in spac-?" He was interrupted as his other self spoke up.

"And so you see, I knew I could do it, because I had already done it before! Because that was me! Right?" He seemed very confused.

"Um, yeah…" Mustang responded.

Hughes (the one that no one could see) was even more confused. Wait, what's going on? Why can't anybody see me or hear me? I must be…. DEAD! My soul can't depart from this despicable world!"

If you were dead, I wouldn't be trying to talk to you… Now get a hold of yourself…

"Agh! And who is this voice in my head? I must be going mad… again…"

Arrancar Encyclopedia!

Gin smiled, leaning back in his float-y triangular chair. "Today we're talkin' 'bout Aizen and Tosen, an' what they're up to…"

The screen in the back turned on, to reveal Aizen and Tosen in a factory of some kind. Tosen picked up a gun and shot Aizen, then jumped into a pit of spikes. The screen turned black for a moment, and then the two appeared in an even more complicated-looking room filled with blocks and buttons.

Tosen sighed. Oh no, not again…

Hughes was getting angry. "WHO ARE YOU VOICE IN MY HEAD!?!?!" Hughes shouted, kicking a nearby chair, which caused it to fly across the room and causing Hughes (other) and Mustang to look over shocked and examine the chair.

"Oh... Pity you don't know... I am... YOU!!" And Hughes (other, now is going to be called Hughes2 for the sake of convenience… why does that sound so familiar...hmmm?) half turned around and grinned at Hughes1.

"AHHHGG!! YOU CAN SEE ME!!!??" Hughes screamed and started backing away.

Hughes2 looked annoyed. "What do you think" He thought. "And stop screaming so loudly, Roy might even be able to hear you!"

"Huh?"

"Sound travels fast lad! Be wary of those who may use it against you!!" Hughes2 nodded knowledgably.

"What are you talking about??"

"Um... Nothing... Just forget it...." Hughes2 suddenly realized Roy was saying something.

"GHES... ARE YOU LISENING??!!" Mustang punched Hughes2 in the shoulder, sending him flying across the room. "We must now go... To the TORTURE CHAMBERS!!!"

Hughes2 quickly got up and followed Roy out to the hall with Hughes trailing after them.

Could it be? The place I was supposed to find that espada guy?! Hughes thought.

They walked though several hallways till they reached the CHAMBERS!

There were two cells there protected by force fields. In the first cell sat L.

"Hello Hughes-sans" L said as both Hughes' passed. Then looked extremely confused.

Mustang walked to the next cell, as though he didn't notice, and then pointed to the occupant of the cell. "Now this... Is our latest prisoner who we've been experimenting on for no particular reason..."

Could it be? Hughes thought. The person that espada is disguising as??

He walked to the cell... And realized with horror.... It was..... It was....

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GRIMMER!

"Eheheh…" Mustang chuckled. "Now it's time to TORTURE YOU!"

Grimmer grimaced.

Mustang took out a nail file. "I always like to keep my nails nice and neat. And now we can do the same for you!" He grabbed Grimmer's hand and began to grind ferociously on his nails with the file, until it broke the skin underneath.

"AGH! NOOOO!" Grimmer screamed. He fought desperately against his restraints, but to no avail. "I'm warning you, I can turn into something big and powerful… And kill you in an instant…"

Mustang's eyes opened wide. He stopped what he was doing. _Does he really have that ability? Or is he just bluffing? What am I gonna DO!?_

Grimmer smiled evilly.

Mustang frowned. _Wait a second… If he had the ability to transform, he would've already used it…_

"Ha! You're bluffing!" Mustang shouted triumphantly.

"Wrong again."

The Hughes' watched as Grimmer began to transform…

"Devour, Glotonería!"

Grimmer turned into a giant purple blobby thing and ate Mustang.

Hughes1 gulped.

Hughes2 sighed. "THAT was the thing you wanted to save?"

The blobby thing sloshed back and forth. "HAHAHA! NOW I HAVE FLAMEOUT ABILITIES!"

Extras……

Gin sat in a big armchair. "It's not fair. My older got all the land, the house, an' most 'f the money! Why should 'e get all that jus' f'r bein' born first? Oi! Tosen! Where's my tea?!"

Tosen grunted. "Water's boiling, _sir." _He began to mutter to himself. "I'll tell you what's not fair. I have to work for this… _thing… _all my life just because of our… _differences…_

Gin frowned. "Make sure that water's 'ot, Tosen. HOT!"

Tosen glared.

AIzen walked into the room., looking very worried.

Gin smiled. "Oi, Aizen! I've been thinkin'… I think I should go wi' ye to Hueco Mundo. Ye need people like me ta tell all o' those arrancar wha' ta do, an' how ta do it!"

"Uh…Gin…" Aizen started. "I… forgot my script…."

There was a few moments of silence, until Gin turned around and looked at Tosen. "Oi! Where's my TEA, SERVANT?"

Tosen cast Gin a withering look. "Never mind, I'm out." He took off his flowery apron and left the room, leaving Aizen and Gin very confused.


	17. Chapter 17

Random Chimeras suddenly began attacking Grimmer, but eventually the GREEN one got him...

Hughes2 sighed, "Sooo..... What to do now....?" Then he turned and smiled evilly at Hughes, picking up the nail file.

"AHHHGG!" Hughes1 screamed and ran to the door.

"HA! You can't open it, remember? This is just glimpse of the future for you." Hughes2 said triumphantly, slowly walking in his direction.

"NOOOO!!! HELP ME! AHHHGGG!! I DON'T WANT TO DIE!!!!" Hughes screamed as Hughes2 slashed him with the nail file.

L huddled in his cell as he watched Hughes1 being slashed up. What am I doing? He thought. What am I going to DOO!!!!! THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!!!

"Where am I going to go for lunch?" He heard Hughes2 say.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGG!!!!" L screamed, and everything went black.

Tosen stared at the green oozing Gin that was steaming on the other side of the table.

"I want you to take back, what you said about my mother!" Gin yelled.

Tosen glared. "Why are we doing this?"

Gin shrugged.

L shook violently. I know… what I must do… What I have to do to save the world… I must become…

KARAKURA SUPER-RISER!

L jumped up, using the towel he had been keeping with him as a cape. "BWAHAHAHA!"

Hughes2 backed away slowly. "No… NOOO!"

Hughes1 turned around just as the doors opened behind him. He watched as a beautiful _woman _entered the room. Instantly Hughes1 collapsed on the ground in agony, trying to block out the terrible memories that were besieging him…. He barely noticed when the woman's gun went off, putting both Hughes' out of their misery.

Sartxe…

…………..

Gin ate a banana.

L stood in disbelief as he saw the beautiful woman enter the room and shoot both Hughes'. He shook with anger.

"NOW!! BECAUSE OF YOU! THERE'S NO ONE TO CALL ME BY MY NAME!!! AHHHHHG!" L yelled and jumped out of his cell, kicking the woman in mid flight.

The woman dropped to the ground, and as she hit the floor a blonde wig fell off her head revealing an unattractive blonde dude.

"Barry?" Hughes asked as he woke up. "Did you knock him out L?"

"I don't know... Probably.... THINGS ARE JUST HAPPENING TOO FAST!! AHG!!"

--------------

Gin suddenly fell down dead... "Damn... You.... KIRA!!!"

Tosen grinned.

Aizen walked in despair in central city... Now... how exactly did I get here? He wondered...

Hughes2 woke up and saw that Hughes1 was still there. "Oi, when's this flashback going to end?" He asked. "I'm getting tired of being called Hughes2 all the time. Shouldn't I be Hughes1 and YOU be Hughes2? I'm the real Hughes after all, and you're just some figment of my imagination."

Hughes1 stood up. "No, I'M the real Hughes, and YOU'RE just a figment of- Oh, wait, never mind… You're right…"

L ate a pastry. "Well because of you, the future has been influenced… and so you must DIE!"

Hughes2 vaguely questioned why L was able to see Hughes1. Oh well…

"Agh!" Hughes1 shouted. "I never influenced the future. I'm like a fly on the wall…"

Hughes2 pointed at him. "And you're buzzing just like a fly on the wall as well."

"Huh? Oh I'm-" He suddenly realized his pocket was vibrating. He pulled out the Soul Pager that was in there , and a little chorus of Death Note theme 2 echoed around the room. L was disgusted.

Wait… Hughes1 thought. Why do I still have my Soul Pager with me? I clearly remember L forcing me to give it up, and I never got it back… So why is it here with me now?!

He flipped open the Soul Pager to see that there was one Hollow detection very close… In fact, it was right where L was sitting. "RUN, L! A HOLLOW IS GOING TO COME RIGHT THERE AND EAT YOUR SOUL!"

L sat there glumly, sucking on a lollipop.

Hughes2 sighed. "You idiot, he IS the Hollow."

"Oh…."

Meanwhile, back at the Soul Society…

Gin, Aizen and Tosen walked into the Seireitei. Tosen smiled. It felt like a homecoming.

Just then, Ukitake came running, coughing up blood and gasping for breath. "RUN! THE ZANPAKTOU ARE COMING!"

"Eh?" Gin looked up to see Shinso come flying out of nowhere and skewer him in the heart! He collapsed on the ground. Just then, Aizen's zanpaktou RELEASED… terrorizing everyone in the Soul Society except Gin, Tosen and Falman who was being help captive at the time.

"WHHHAT!?!" Hughes1 said.

Hughes2 looked like he was going to kill something.

EXTRAS!

Falman looked glumly at his cell. He began to kick and break the pots that were scattered across the floor, earning experience points as he went along. He finally earned enough experience points to knock out the guard with kido and escaped.

FREEDOM!! He thought, sniffing the air.

"Uh…W-wait…" Hughes1 stuttered. "But he like… joined the Academy… and stuff…" His voice trailed off weakly.

Hughes2 seemed very angry. "I'm getting tired of explaining these things to you. When are you goin' back to your own time?"

"Um… Well I kinda failed in my mission… So I've been waiting for it to ask me if I wanted to restart."

"Press the menu button." L murmured.

"Uh… Okay…" Hughes1 pressed the menu button, and suddenly a blue screen flared up in front of him. He could see all of the previous saved game points before this one. He decided to exit out of the menu, and when he nest opened his eyes, he was staring up at a ceiling. He sat up, to find that he was sitting on some kind of machine, somewhat bed-shaped, that had 'Animus' written on the side of it. He heard a voice from behind him shout, "Get back on the Animus!" and turned around to see…

Fishy Extras

Falman was happy. He had knocked out two more guards and had found twenty gold in a crate. This was turning out to be a good day after all.

Meanwhile, Gin was smiling at his zanpaktou. "Some decide to trade high-speed regeneration for greater strength. But I sell my wares to the Thieves Guild, and instead level up on my health and agility."

"Yes, but you forget…" Shinso said, drawing… Shinso… "I have BANKAI!"


	18. Chapter 18

Hughes sat up confused. Why am I here? Why do I die? He looked down at his wrist and there was a digital watch... Why? He looked around, wanting to get a feel for his surroundings.

Sitting next to a pillar in the CENTER of the room, L was playing tic-tac-toe with himself.... errr... by himself. And sitting next to him, Hughes assumed, was the person who had just yelled: Senbonzakura, who looked somewhat annoyed.

"Who are YOU?" Hughes asked, looking at Senbonzakura with interest. "Not a main character I hope."

Zakura shook his head sadly. "I KNOW! It is tragic, me... Not becoming a main character or anything...." He trailed off.

"Well.... Then... WHAT IS YOUR QUEST!?" Hughes asked.

"Er.... Excuse me?'"

"Ummm... Never mind, inside joke..."

"Oh..."

"Well....... Then........ I guess, why are you here?"

"Oh! Well!" Zakura smiled. "I'm minding the shop till my master gets back! Ya' know... Keeping the seat warm!"

"Well... Okay...........

"Wait....." Zakura suddenly looked embarased. "Was that the wrong expression....? I was never taught such complicated emotions..."

"Uh... Okay...."

* * *

Extras:

"NOOOOO!! It's TOO BIG!!! AHHHHHHHGGGG!!" Gin screamed but then smiled. "You actually believed that I could be killed by a mere Zanpaktou! I COULD BE DEFEATED BY TRASH LIKE YOU!!!"

Gin ripped off his shirt, and drew his sword. "NOW LET'S START... ROUND TWO!!!"

Falman found the Mudcrab trader.

Hughes groaned. "Uh, how much longer do I have to spend time with you? And why is L always in these alternate universes?"

Zakura glared. "Fine, you're probably tired. You should get some rest." He walked through a door, L slowly following. Hughes ran up to the door just as it was closing, but discovered he couldn't get through! "Wait, but this is open! WHY CAN"T I GO THROUGH!?"

The door closed, and Hughes was forced to go to his room. He entered the bathroom, and realized he was missing some toilet paper. He was going to take a shower, but there was a rather inconspicuous video camera in there, so he decided against it. He was about to go to bed when he heard voices coming in through the bathroom wall.

"We're so close to achieving our plan!" Obviously Zakura.

"But what about Hughes-sa-?"

"Forget about him. With this plan, we will have all the information we need. Heh… Hah… Hahah…..HAHAHA…. WAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Uggh… Hughes thought, crawling into bed.

Hughes opened his eyes to see Zakura's head just a few inches above his own.

Hughes grimaced. "What are you doing?"

Zakura glanced from side to side. "Oh, you know… just hangin' out…"

L ate a pastry.

A few minutes later, things were all sorted out between them.

"So…" Zakura began. "I'm sure you want me to explain what is going on… You see, we need your BRAIN."

"WHAT?!"

"There's a certain memory engram that can't be accessed until you complete levels 3-5…. So either you finish those levels, or we'll just need your brain… _diced_."

"Wait, how am I missing any memory? I don't not remember anything… Wait… What?"

"Of course you don't remember, your memories have been removed and the memories of those memories have been removed, and the memories of THOSE memories have been removed… And so on and so forth. It's like a drawer."

"Oh…. So who removed them?"

Zakura adopted a serious expression. "All we could find were the initials G.I.…"

Hughes's eyes opened wide. "GIN ICHIMARU!"

########XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX########## (meaning EXTRAS)

Gin smiled. "I'll take a potato chip…. AND EAT IT!"

Shinso blinked. "Wait, what?"

"HAHAHA! YOU ARE DISTRACTED BY MY AWESOME-NESS!" Gin jumped up and down.

"Wait a sec…"

"You think that YOU can defeat ME!?!? Just try it!"

Shinso was very confused…

When suddenly the REAL Gin snuck up behind him and stabbed him, turning him back into a sword.

Gin (the real one) smiled. "If you had truly watched me all this time, you would've known that that THING over there was not really me. HAHAHA!"

He turned to 'Gin'. "Thank ye, random squad 11 person, for fillin'in."

Meanwhile…

After trading with the mudcrab, Falman joined the Imperial Guard. His mission was to prevent enemy attacks by collapsing some of the secret tunnels under Fort Buckmoth. He stood in the caves, steadily picking away… When suddenly, there was a deep rumbling sound, and…

"IT'S A TSUNAMI!" One of the guards cried.

A giant flood of water came rushing into the cave, breaking down the supports and caving in the passageway. When Falman opened his eyes, he saw that the only exit (to the north) had been cut off. He went south until he found…

"TREASURE!"

Falman picked up as much treasure as he could, and then turned to go, but realized….

He was over-encumbered.


	19. Chapter 19

"Ichimaru? Who's that?" Zakura looked puzzled.

"DAMN HIM!!" Hughes shouted and began to run around the room in circles. "WHY DOES HE HAVE TO RUIN EVERYTHING!!! KILLING OUR SOULS INSIDE!!!" He stood in silence for a moment, and then smiled. "I know what we can do!"

"Huh?"

"Well all we have to do is kill whole bunch of KWAMA FORAGERS!! Then we'll eventually become strong enough to kill him!"

"Urg..."

3 years later...

* * *

"URRRRGGGGGGG.... Bleh...." Hughes groaned "Only 1,594,922,234 to go..."

"Grrr! I'm sick of this! Just complete levels 3-5..." Zakura said as he picked up Hughes and dragged him onto the Animus.

"NOOOOOOO!!!!"

Hughes woke up and looked at his surroundings. Everything around him was brightly colored with greens, reds, and yellows. He saw several fake looking trees, and some people and trucks.

NO! Hughes thought. NOT THIS! ANYTHING BUT THIS!!!

But he knew there was no escaping. So he began to roll across the hill, cleaning up the Earth.

Tras of Ex

Gin smiled, it had been a great day. He had even been able to get his Zanpaktou back.

"YAY!" He began to sing.

But suddenly CRACK and (Human) Shinso appeared before him again.

"HEh...HEHEh....." He chuckled. "Ichimaru? Have you ever heard of the Amazing Ryûgû?!!! Heh...."

"Urrrr.... No...."

"Well...heh... I was a book published in the 90s about this weak guy who had a friend that helped him if he was in any trouble...heh..."

Gin smiled. "LET'S SEE IT THEN! TRANSFORM!!!!"

Suddenly Byakuya came from behind Gin and stabbed him through the head, then shunpoed away.

Shinso walked up to the dying Gin. "I never said his friend was himself... Did I?"

"Blerg....."

"This is what you get for watching too many animes..... MUHAHAHHAHAHA!!" Shinso said and walked away.

"Look at Falman.... He must be really sick..." Fuery said, as he, Breda, and Havoc suddenly appeared.

"I thought you were dead...?" Havoc said.

"Oh well ya' no...."

Breda found tattered tunics.

"NO! I'M NOT DOING THIS ANYMORE!" Hughes struggled against the bonds holding him to the Gomi world. "I REFUSE TO LIVE THIS HORRIBLE LIFE!"

"Urg…." Zakura watched Hughes feebly struggle on the Animus. "Why does he always have to make things so difficult?" He turned around and left, leaving Hughes, gasping for breath, on the Animus.

L walked over to Hughes. "Hughes…San?"

"Blergh…."

L stared at him.

(10 hours later)

L ate a potato chip.

"Yurghhh… No MORE…."

Hughes opened his eyes. "Eh…. Trucks?"

He saw two trucks come driving at him.

"AGH!" He jumped, narrowly avoiding being run over.

Wait a sec… I know! The way out of this hellish place!

The truck turned around and drove at him, and he quickly jumped onto it and over the fence, escaping from the terrible world.

L blinked as Hughes woke up. He was back, laying on the Animus.

"Hello, Hughes-san."

"KIRA! I mean… Hi, Inoue."

"Hello, Hughes-san."

"Uh…. Hi…"

"Hello, Hughes-san."

"Uhhh…. Inoue?"

"Hello, Hughes-san."

"SNAP OUT OF IT, INOUE!" He grabbed L, shaking him back and forth.

"Heeelllloooo HHHHuuuggghhheeesss-sssaaannnn."

Zakura walked back into the room. "What are you doing to L?"

Hughes looked up at him, letting go of L.

L looked at Zakura. "Hello, Zakura-san."

Hughes glared at him. "He's…. STUCK."

EX-TRAs

"Uh…. Falman? WAKE UP!"

Falman opened his eyes blearily, to see Fuery standing over him. "Wake up. We've almost arrived in Drachma."

"Urgh…. Where am I?"

"Don't you remember? We were arrested for treason and are being exiled to Drachma… Shhhhh, the guards are coming."

Falman stood just as a burley-looking man in a dark blue military uniform entered to room. "Right this way, convict."

"You should listen to him." Fuery whispered.

"AGH!" Falman shouted. He shoved past the surprised guard and ran up a ladder to emerge onto an old-looking boat deck. Two guards shouted at him to stay still. Falman ran off the deck of the ship and dived into the ice-cold waters.

&&&&&&&&

"Urgh…." Falman, drenched in water, dragged himself through the small town he had arrived in. He got many inquisitive glances from the passing Drachmans. He wanted to buy some food, but realized he had no money on him. He asked a Drachman how to earn some money, and was told the fastest way to earn money was to join a guild. He walked up to a building with a sign in the front labeled 'Fighter's Guild'.

"Well, I guess there's no other way…"

Falman walked into the Fighter's Guild and walked up to the first person he saw, a tough looking Drachman.

"Uh… Hello…."

The Drachman glared at him.

"I'm Falman… Who are you?"

The Drachman turned to him. "I'm Boris, head of the Fighter's Guild. Are you looking to **join the Fighter's Guild**?"

"Uh… Yeah…"

"Very well. You are now Falman, the Not-even-worthy-of-being-an-Apprentice. Talk to me if you want **orders**."

"Uh… Can I get some orders?"

"So you want **orders**, eh?" He thought for a moment. "Go talk to Garak, from the Thieves' Guild. You need to get information on the **Amestrian Conspiracy **from him."

"Okay…." Garak left the Fighter's Guild, and asked someone for directions to the Thieves' Guild. He entered the cornerclub where the Theives' Guild was said to be located, and went down the stairs.

He walked up to Garak, who was standing behind the bar serving drinks.

"Uh… Hi, I'm Falman. Who are you?"

"I'm Garak, just a simple bartender."

"Uh… I'm looking for information on the Amestrian Conpiracy…"

"The **Amestrian Conspiracy**? Hmmm…. Tell you what: If you take this blade, **Keening**, to an associate of mine, then I'll give you the information. Be careful, though: It's one of the most powerful weapons in all of the Soul Soci- I mean Drachma. Here, my associate in on **Red Mountain. **I'll mark it on your map."

"Okay…" Falman took Keening and left the room. He walked out of the Thieves' Guild, and then took Keening out of his pack. "Most powerful blade? Ha, only a FOOL would not try and use its POWER!" He picked up the blade and admired it, his eyes widening in horror as the blade turned against him and plunged itself deep into his heart.

He blearily opened his eyes, to see Fuery standing over him. "Oh nooooo…."


	20. Chapter 20

"Stuck...?" Hughes was confused.

"Yeah... He gets like that sometimes...." Zakura said slapping L at on the back of the neck. Hughes stared horrified at the dead body of L that now laid on the floor.

"Why do you look so surprised, Hughes-san?" Zakura smiled revealing pointed teeth. "We must ELIMINATE THE WEAK!!!! MUHHAHHA!!!"

Suddenly L stood up, and went over to the pillar to play tic-tac-toe.

"Uh...... urhgg.... Okay?" Hughes sighed. Why can't I go to a normal world for once?

"What was that?!" Zakura asked.

"Uh... nothing....... So what do I do now?" Hughes asked.

Zakura nodded his head knowingly. "Now.... We must DICE your BRAIN!!!"

Hughes thought about this for a moment. "WHAAAAAT????!!"

Zakura's eyes glowed. "WE MUST EAT IT TO GAIN YOUR STRENGTH!!!! MUHAHAHAHAHA CHOMP!!!"

"Really???"

"YES THEN WE WILL BECOME IMMORTAL AND CONSUME WANDERING SOULS!!!"

"Reeeealllly?!?!"

"YES!!!! AND AFTER WE DO THAT WE CAN GET LOTS OF MONNNEY!!! YES!!! MONEY!! FROM THE MINDLESS WORSHIPERS BELOW!!! THEN WE CAN EAT THIER SOULS TOO!!!!

"REALLLLYY!!!??"

"....uhh...."

"What's wrong with Hughes-san?" L asked breaking the silence.

Zakura frowned. "Well.... I think.... He's stuck."

37/?45

EXTRAS, EXTRAS, EXTRAS, EXTRAS, EXTRAS, EXTRAS, EXTRAS, EXTRAS, EXTRAS....

Shinso grinned. He had killed his master, so now he was FREE!! But suddenly he felt something cold and sharp pierce though his back.

He heard Gin's voice behind him. "Ya' know Shin-chan, you're a kinda' lame Zanpaktou. If ya' had seen, just one Anime. Ya' 'ould of known that us anime characters can't be killed that easily." He twisted Shinso, and Shinso screamed. "Maybe' since ya' such a lame Zanpaktou, I 'oat get Kira ta' nip off and shoot ya' self. So ya' not a burden ta' me' anymore..."

"Well...cough... THAT'S FINE!!! TRY NOT TA' KILL ME!!! I don't want ta' be ya' sword neither!!!"

"Now, that's a wee bit tooo bad son. 'Cause I like ya as a sword...."

"Grrrrr..."

Falman ate Russet Toughshanks.

"Okay, discarding the irrelevancies of that last encounter…" Zakura began, "How 'bout we have a drink?"

"Uh… I don't drink…"

"EH!?! You don't DRINK!?!"

"No… If you drink too much you'll fall of buildings or freeze to death…"

"Eh? No ye won't! I've been drinkin' all my life, an' I'm just FINE!" Zakura pounded Hughes on the back.

Hughes coughed up blood. "Ugggghhhh…….."

Just then, the lights went off.

"Huh!?"

A strong wind blew through the room, causing flower petals to swirl around. The lights flickered back on, and a cloaked figure was standing in the room.

"Who are you?" Zakura asked.

L walked up to the figure. "Oh, he's a guest of honor I invited. Now treat our guest with respect. Everyone, say hello to…"

THE FISHY EXTRAS

Gin and Shinso sat idly under some trees. Gin drank some sake. "Ugh, sorry 'bout earier…"

Shinso nodded. "No problem… It's good ta be ALIVE…"

Renji walked over to the two. "Oi! This is me an' Ikkaku's drinkin' spot!"

Gin sighed. "Skewer tha' punk, Shinso…"

Shinso killed Renji.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Falman vomited behind a stalagmite. "Ugh… I want a new mission…" I walked around in Balmora until he was killed by the silt strider.


	21. Chapter 21

In walked in TENMA!

"AHHHGG! The MASTER!" Zakura screamed drunkenly, and did a half hearted bow.

"Oh... So that's what a Japanese bow looks like....." L mumbled. Tenma glared and shot him.

Hughes was confused. "So you're Japanese? ..." Hughes asked ignoring the slowly reforming L next to him."Konichiwa!"

"Uh... yeah... me' name is..... uh..... Johan." Tenma looked embarrassed.

Hughes looked dreamy eyed. "Oh.... yeah... I've been in Japan before.... There was this song that was popular...... I ran 100... Kilometers..... Nooo... I walked through piles... and... uh....."

"The sore feet song... You mean..." Tenma said. "You.... Know... you remind me of someone.... I knew..."

"Really?! How is he now?....." Hughes asked.

"Oh... he's dead..."

"Whaaat?"

E x T r A s

Falman tried to make a grappling hook but a Mysterious voice kept telling him not to worry about the stalagmites.

Shinso suddenly turned to Gin. "Many people have drunk that Sake... At the Squad 4 barracks!"

Gin threw up.

"Uh… So why are you here?" Hughes asked, pointing at Tenma.

"Well you see, I'm on a quest! A quest for-"

"Never mind, I don't want to know! I'm not getting tied up in this anymore." Hughes got up and was about to walk out the door, when he heard a click behind him. He turned around to see Tenma pointing a gun at him. He gulped.

"Sorry, Hughes-san." L nibbled on a cookie. "I told him you were here."

"It's not my fault! I'm innocent!" Hughes shouted. "It was him! He tortured me!" Hughes pointed accusingly at Zakura.

"What are you talking about!?" Shouted Zakura.

"It doesn't matter now." Tenma told them. "You're all coming with me!" He snapped his fingers and the floor vanished, plummeting them into darkness.

* * *

Hughes opened his eyes to giant trees surrounding him, stretching high into the darkness. "Ugh… Where are we…?"

"Hahaha! I bet none of you would ever have guessed that there was really a giant forest under your feet! That never seems to happen!"

Zakura muttered something under his breath and then looked around. "Oi, where's L?"

After a few minutes of searching, they found L hanging from a stalactite.

Hughes rubbed his head. "I'm not even going to ask why…"

Just then, a green ooze came flooding over the ground.

"It's TOXIC!" Tenma shouted. "We must climb the trees to escape it!"

L and Hughes scrambled up the trees but Zakura didn't make it and was burned to a crisp.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXtras

Gin was feeling lost and depressed. He walked around the Soul Society until he collapsed on the ground, his strength used up. Just then, he heard the roar of a Hollow. He barely had the strength to pick up his sword, let alone fight off a Hollow… He was knocked to the ground and just when he thought he was gonna die, a tall man entered his vision. He fought off the Hollow then turned to Gin. "I helped save your life, so will you now help me with my quest.

"O' course, I'll serve ye with undyin' loyalty… Jus' who are you, anyway?"

"I am…" (To be continued)


	22. Chapter 22

"....Tenma! Just don't ask how I got here....." Tenma said, helping Gin to his feet.

"So..... What's this 'ere quest? What ya' want done?" Gin said puzzled.

"Well....." Tenma sighed. "I'm on a quest.... A quest for-"

"AHHHG" Gin cut him off. "Actually I'm a wee bit busy at e' moment... How 'bout later? ..."

"Oh... That's fine... Just tell me what squad you're in, I'll be able to contact you later..."

"Urr.... Squad ...9. Be seein' ya'!" And Gin shunpoed away.

Tenma smiled evilly.

Hughes was cold and felt very sick. For the past few days he had been hanging to the top of a tree, with the poisonous green slime below them.

"Hey Maes! Ya' alright?" Shouted Tenma, who was hanging on a tree near Hughes.

"Hey!! I thought you were helping GIN!!??" Hughes shouted back. "Oh!! And stop calling me MAES!! Why is L the only one who's respectful here?!!!"

"Oh... That's probably my evil twin brother named Swords!! Oh!! And I can call you whatever I want!!! 'Cause I'm the TENMA!!"

"OH? Are you? Now what series are you exactly FROM!?!?! THIS IS A BLEACH FMA CROSSOVER SO YOU DON'T BELONG HERE!!!"

"How 'bout L?"

"He's an exception...."

"Now what does that mean? Hmmm? ...

Tosen killed Swords.

"AGH! This just isn't RIGHT anymore! WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAVE TO HAPPEN TO ME!?!?!?" Hughes jumped from his tree to the one where Tenma was on "YOU WILL DIE, TENMA!" Hughes pushed Tenma off of the tree and Tenma fell into the acid, burnt to a crisp.

"Hughes-san! How could you-?" L paused and looked down as Tenma slowly began to reform.

"HAHAHA!" Tenma shouted. "Since I have to power of HEALING, I can heal myself if I get hurt!"

Just then a violent wind swept through the forest, pulling the three far away into the darkness.

Swords ALSO began to reform. "Heheheheh…. I AM GOD!"

Tosen became confused and wandered away.

Suddenly, Swords heard a voice in the distance. "Well no one will be able to defeat me… FOR I HAVE THE COOLEST VOICE ACTOR IN THE UNIVERSE! BWAHAHAHA!"

Swords hesitated for a moment. "Uh… You're Mustang?"

He heard a grumble. "No…."

"Uh…. Ginko?"

"NO!"

"Let's see here… Um…. I give up…"

"GRRRR! I AM…. KANDA!" Kanda jumped down. "HAHAHA! I WILL DESTROY YOU!"

"Oh…. You're _Kanda…_" Swords paused. "Wait, aren't you supposed to be a cool character?"

"ARG! UNDERWORLD THINGIES, ATTACK!"


	23. Chapter 23

Hughes woke up, he yawned. I wonder where I am… He walked for awhile, and found L sitting in a small cave next to the ocean.

Hughes sighed and sat next to him in despair. "WHERE ARE WE!?!!" He yelled into the sky.

L turned to him suddenly, "Where are we? You ask me... Yes you do...."

"Huh?"

L got up suddenly and started prancing around the beach, then jumped into the ocean.

"AAAAHGGG" Hughes moaned and decided to fall asleep.

"Kanda? Who's that?" Swords asked expertly dodging the underworld thingies.

Kanda cursed. "Oh... So I see your just not one of those random dudes that I just happened to bump into... Well the.. I WILL KILL YOU!!! MUHAHAHAH!!!" Kanda then stabbed himself. "Soooo.... Wonderfulll..." He said, and fell down dead.

Swords was confused. "What was that?"

Gin found a scary room!

"Wake up, Hughes-san… That you will…"

Hughes opened his eyes to see L leaning over him, holding a moldy-looking thing in his hands.

"LOOK AT IT, HUGHES-SAN."

"Uh…. What is it?" Hughes blinked.

"It's priceless treasure from an ancient civilization that existed long before the rise of…"

Hughes tried to tune the rest out.

"… That it is, Hughes-san."

"Ugh…" Hughes rubbed his head. "I have to get out of here." He tried to stand up, but L pushed him down.

"Don't try to move, Hughes-san. You were seriously injured… That you were…"

Hughes glared at L.

"Hughes-san… You like FISH?"

"Uh… What?"

"YOU LIKE FISH?"

"Uh…"

"Well if Hughes-san doesn't want the fish… I will leave it on the other side of the cave, and Hughes-san will have to get it himself, that he will." L wandered off.

*Five Hours Later*

Hughes felt his stomach grumbling. He stood and crossed the cave and picked up the hunk of meat. He took a giant chomp out of it and then realized with horror and disgust that he was eating… TENMA'S ARM!

EXTRAS

Swords wandered away… He was thinking…

Ugh, why is this life so boring? There's no point in living if there's not anyone strong enough to fight you… And there's no one stronger than me in THIS world anymore…

That's what he thought… Until he met…

[TO BE CONTINUED]

Gin stood in the scary room for a moment, then smiled. He took out the oil and matches that he had had [Mello style] and grinned in glee as the flames began to rise. "BURN IT! BURN IT ALL!"

Hughes threw up and stumbled into a nearby cave where he rested for a few days.

I MUST NOT LET L FIND ME!!! He thought.

"You WILL finish eating Tenma's arm, that you will...." Hughes heard beside him. He turned and there sat L.

L shoved the arm he was holding into Hughes' face. "Eat!! EATT!!!!" he screamed.

-----

KEATON

----

"AGH!" Hughes stood up and ran out of the cave. L chased after him, waving Tenma's arm.

"EAT IT, HUGHES-SAN!"

Hughes stumbled onto the beach, running until he reached the water. He watched as L approached. No... What do I do now? This can't be happening. Suddenly he heard a voice behind him.

"I'm... right... BEHIND YOU!" Hughes whirled around only to be grabbed and swept off of his feet.

L watched in horror as Light Yagami raced by on a speedboat, grabbing Hughes from the beach.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING, LIGHT-KUN?!?!?"

"HAHAHAHA!" Light shouted. "Now I have your friend!"

"NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" L shrieked.

"That's right, L! Let the anger build within your soul! FEEL THE PAIN! I want to fight the REAL L, not some psychotic FISHERMAN!"

"LIIIIGHT-KUUUUN! I WILL KILL YOU!"

Light and Hughes sailed off at ludicrous speeds.

Now, several hundred years ago in the pits of the Extras....

Swords stood in the room, eyes widening as he saw smoke beginning to rise up from under the doorway. He could hear a voice from the next room: "BURN IT! BURN IT ALL!"

Swords ran towards the door and grabbed the handle, jerking away as the hot metal burned his hand.

He rammed his body against the only window in the room, but it held. Smoke filled the room, Swords could feel himself becoming faint.

Swords fell onto the ground. He could hear a voice calling from the distance.

"You're going to be okay... I'll get you out of here..." ( This is Keaton)

Everything went black.


	24. Chapter 24

Hughes sat bound to a stake at to the side of the forest with Light standing beside him.

"HEEhhhhh,,,.. HEHEH.... HEWHEHEEHEH" Light began to chuckle. "ALL OF YOU WILL DIE!! MUHAHAH!!

Hughes snorted. "Well... Can you let me go first?"

"Let you GO???!! Why would I do something like that..?" Light asked smiling evilly.

"Well........ If you're not going to let me go..... Then kill me!" Hughes said.

"Wha--! Kill YOU???" But I can't do that.... It's against my ethical code..." Light muttered. "I CAN'T KILL YOU! I'VE NEVER KILLED ANYONE!!!"

"Noo! YOU MUST!!! The final battle is about to come forth, and I'm not a part of it... SHOOT ME LIGHT YAGAMI!!!"

"Nooo.... NOOO!!!" Light's eyes began to bulge. "I CAn'T I CAAAAAN'T!!! REMMM!!!" He screamed.

Hughes smiled.

Suddenly a wail came from the forest. "I'LLLLLLLL SAVVEEE YOUUUU HUGHESS-SANNN!!!!! That I will!!!!!"

Extras:

Swords awoke. Suddenly a man came up to him, smiling.

"Hello, I'm KEATON, isn't it a hot day?" The man said.

"Y-you saved me?..." Swords asked. "Even though I'm an annoying extras character, you saved me. Why would you save a man like me?"

"Well... I saw that you are.... Truly human.... LIVE!" And KEATON ran away into the distance.

Gin ate Summer pudding.

Hughes grimaced. There had to be a way out of this situation. He picked up a stick and drew an alchemic circle onto the ropes, for he is the only one that can actually do that. He tapped the circle and the ropes disintegrated.

Great, now I can get out of here…

He turned around and was prepared to run off into the forest when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"So you're just going to run away?" It was Light.

"Of course… There's no way I'm eating Tenma's arm…"

Light shook his head. "You're a terrible person. How can you just run away? Don't you see that that man is fighting to save your life?"

"Um… Not really…"

"Us city folk have manners! Do you eat off of the floor as WELL?"

"Listen… Can you pleeeaaase let me go?"

"HUUUUGHES SAAAAAN!" There was a loud crashing noise, and L rushed into the clearing waving Tenma's arm.

Light and L made eye contact. They both froze.

"So… We meet again…" Light smiled, hair beginning to glow red.

"Light-kun… This time you will lose once and for all…"

Hughes snuck off into the forest. He felt something wiggle in his sleeve. "Huh?"

He reached into it and out came a golden streak.

"Oh! Timcampy! So THAT'S where you were all this time!"

* * *

Swords shook off the strange encounter, then decided he would go buy some beef stew to help himself feel better. On the way to the restaurant, he found a cloth vendor.

"Oi! Can I buy some white cloth?"

He took the cloth and used ALCHEMY to fashion into a white shirt thing that had the symbol for Good! on its back.


	25. Chapter 25

Hughes walked through the forest till he finally collapsed near a swamp. "I CANT GO ON ANY LONGER!!! I'M BETTER OFF DEAD!!!"

Timcampy suddenly dived down into the swamp. "TIMCAMPY!!!" Hughes screamed but then broke off in a fit of coughing.

"I'm all alone...." Hughes muttered. "No one cares that I even exist anymore!!! I'm like the tree that fell in a forest but it's like.... AHHH I'M IN DESPAIR!!"

Suddenly Timcampy burst out of the water carrying something between its teeth. And Hughes realized in horror, it was Tenma's arm. He screamed, and the world around him collapsed into nothingness.

--------

Extras; GOOD

Swords sat at a hotdog stand reading a newspaper. Gin (who was running the hotdog stand) walked up to him.

"Oi! Ye' know that newspaper is from two days ago, don't ye'?"

Swords nodded.

Gin sighed. "Yeahh... There's supposed to be that doctor who killed a whole bunch of people... Don't really know much though..." Gin gave Swords some summer pudding. "Well it's strange... But you look an awful lot like 'im..."

"Oh... Yeah.... Well you know that happens..." Swords muttered and ran off.

Hughes opened his eyes slowly. He could see Mustang standing below him, looking nervous and expectant.

"…Hughes? Is that really you?"

"What…?" Hughes looked around, then realized with a sudden jolt what had happened.

Mustang smiled timidly, wiping the sweat from his face. "Hughes…"

"DAMN YOU ROY! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS!?! HOW COULD YOU TURN ME INTO AN **AKUMA**!?!?!?!?"

Hughes heard a chuckle from behind him and spun around to see the Millennium Earl.

"Haha, my Akuma! I order you to kill this man and wear his body as your own!"

Hughes grimaced as his body began to move towards Mustang's. "Grrr…. I CURSE YOU, ROY!"

Mustang barely had time to jump out of the way. He pulled on one of his gloves and snapped.

Hughes watched as the flames raced towards him. "Roy… I lo-"

"AGH! NNOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Hughes sat up with a jolt, a cold sweat covering his body. He looked around frantically and realized with relief that he was still alive and in the forest. "Thank goodness… It was just a dream…"

Hughes stood. "I have finally decided. I am on a mission. I will get home, no matter what the cost." With a determined look, Hughes started off towards the rising sun.

After five minutes of walking, Hughes collapsed onto the ground. "Agh… Too much walking… I can't take it anymore, this mission is futile…"

"Hello? You need some help, hmmm…?"

Hughes used his last strength to look up, to see Muramasa standing over him, extending a hand.

To… Be… CONTINUED!

Swords was wandering around, when he bumped into someone. It was a worried-looking kid with white hair and a pentagram over one eye.

"Eh…? Watch where you're going!" Swords muttered.

The boy didn't seem to notice, so Swords grabbed his sleeve.

The sleeve ripped off, revealing an anti-Akuma weapon.

Swords's eyes widened. "So you are what they call… A HUNTER?"

Meanwhile, Gin was waiting for some more customers… He heard the phone ring and picked it up with a sigh.

"GIN! I HAVE TO TALK TO YOU!"

"Ugh… What is i' this time, Keaton?"

"I NEED YOUR RECIPE FOR SUMMER PUDDING!"

Gin grimaced. "Grr… Are you trying to win your wife back AGAIN!?"

There was a pause. "Um… no? I just really like that summer pudding… that's all… Heh…"

Gin hung up the phone with a growl.

"W-who are you...?" Hughes stuttered as the man helped him up.

"Um... Well I'm Muramasa... Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I think... Why are you helping me?" Hughes asked glaring suspiciously at him.

"Um.... Well you see, I'm actualy--" But Muramasa was cut off, as thousands of blue arrow shot through the air dangerously close to them. "OH NO!!!" Muramasa shouted, "IT'S THE QUINCYS!!!" And he quickly jumped behind a tree pulling Hughes along with him.

"The Quincys? But what are they doing here!?" Hughes asked.

"I don't know, they've been gathering here recently... I just couldn't get rid of them... They may take over this forest soon... You stay here, I'll try to find a way to escape!!" And Muramasa darted off leaving Hughes alone.

Suddenly he heard movement near him, and Uryu appeared holding Seele Schneider. "HEH HEH" Uryu chuckled and stabbed Hughes through the gut.

E\X\T\R\A\S\

Allen glared at Swords, and quickly ran off.

Lateeeerrr...

Swords wandered around aimlessly, I MUST find the man!! He will protect me!!! He thought. Suddenly he spotted him in a nearby bar. He jumped at the window where Allen was sitting. But he realized with horror, that it was made of PLEXI GLASS. He fell to the ground with a thud, his head throbbing.

Allen followed by a woman about his age with green hair ran out. "ARE YOU OKAY?" Allen asked.

"Yes..... I've found the only way of living.... Is to dodge the SNAKE!!!" Swords declared, smiling.

Kira always wanted to be a cook, since he was a child he was fascinated by the art of cooking, and especially, by summer pudding which he had at a friend's house SO long ago. So Izuru decided to work at the Summer pudding stand, run by his captain. But Captain Ichimaru would never let him cook, and kept saying that Lieutenants didn't have the talent for cooking. One day Kira decided to prove him wrong and made his own recipe of Summer pudding. Gin finally decided to taste it, but died of food poisoning the next day...

Hughes awoke feeling very dizzy. "Where am I?" He mumbled.

"OH! Your awake... Good, you're in a cave, safe from the quincys..." This was Muramasa's voice.

"Wait..." Hughes tried to recall what had happened. "Didn't I get stabbed by that Quincy?"

"Yes, you did... I'm really surprised you made it...Actually... If it hadn't been for this, you probably would have died...." Muramasa said, holding up Tenma's arm.

"AHGG!" Hughes screamed. "BUT I GOT RID OF THAT!!" Hughes remembered ripping the arm from Timcapmy's mouth and throwing it back into the swamp.

"Well... Whatever it is... It saved you. I'd keep it for good luck if I were you..."

"Ugh..." Hughes rubbed his head. "We hafta get out of here." He cast a sidelong glance at... The ARM...

"Well that's easier said than done..." Muramasa muttered. "Every moment more of them come... But I have a plan. We can make a giant DRILL to get through all of the quincys!"

Hughes blinked. "...Will that reeeaaaally work?"

"Of course... I do this sort of thing all the time..."

5 minutes later...

"Great! Now what do we do!? You broke the drill, and now we're stuck in the middle of the quincys..." Hughes kicked a wall of the drill in anger. "You said everything would be FINE! Everyone did! And now look what's happened! Noooo..." Hughes sunk to his knees. He looked up to see Timcampy still holding Tenma's arm in its jaws.

"Listen... I'm really sorry..." Muramasa murmured.

"Sorry?!?" Hughes pounded the ground in anger. "You hafta get us out of here! Can't you go into their inner worlds or something?"

"No... You see, quincys have no souls..."

"Then how could you do it to Chad?"

"Good question..."

"Grr... Well we hafta do SOMETHING!" Hughes began to pace furiously. "I DON'T BELONG HEEERE!"

Muramasa stood awkwardly in the corner with his hands in front of him. "Please stop shouting. It's starting to make me annoyed."

"Well your little playing 'firefighter' hasn't got me too happy either!"

"What?"

"YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I MEAN!!!" Hughes threw Muramasa onto the ground and heard a loud crunch.

He opened Muramasa's hand, to find some scribbled notes on fixing the drill.

"So..." Hughes smiled, relieved. "You WERE making plans. I suppose I should thank you..."

Hughes looked down at Muramssa's motionless body. "Muramasa...?"

Muramasa did not move.

"But... Dammit, it wasn't supposed ta happen this way! You can't die! I can't kill you!!! You're the Ultimate... Um... Inner-world-prober, remember? But... NOOOOOOOOO!"

Łöuîsßùkiñreeqœ(extras)

Kira heard footsteps approaching and drew further into the darkness. He slipped into a phone booth... Ran down a Metro station... Rode a bus... Stood in an archway... Wandered though Hueco Mundo... And for the first time in his life, he was the MAIN CHARACTER.

Kira stumbled drunkenly out of a bar. "Urgh... All those Squad 3 captains... Always tellin' me I can't cook... They all deserve ta DIE!" Kira collapsed on the ground.

The next time Kira opened his eyes, his captain was dead.

Kira heard a knock on his door. He opened it and in walked Byakuya Kuchiki.

"Hello, Kira. Did you know that your captain is... Dead?"

"What?!" Kira's eyes widened in disbelief. "But... How?"

"Food poisoning. Kira, you are the prime suspect for this crime. I'm afraid you will have to come with me."

"What? No! I didn't do it! It was a setup! I can tell you who DID do it. It was this person I met. His name was Atsuko Kohaku."

"Hmmm... Very well... But you'll still need to come with me."

"Can I at least change first?"

"Very well..." Byakuya knocked on the door 5 minutes later. He heard a thud from outside and watched Kira dash across the building and behind a wall.

"Hmmm... I am Kira... I am Kohaku..."

•••••••••••••••••••

Allen ran up to Swords. "I must HEAL you!" He saw the symbol for Good! on Swords' back. "I see... So you must be one of THEM...

Hughes paced around the drill floor nervously, trying to decipher Muramasa's notes. "AHGGG!!! IT'S NO USE!!!" her screamed falling to his knees and began to cry. "WHY DID I HANE TO KILL MURAMASA!? WHY DID I HAVE TO KILL MY FRIEND!!!?"

Suddenly a large spherical man appeared before him." ohhhhhh... Helllo there.... Wouldn't it be nice to bring you friend back to life??"

Hughes nodded looking up in awe.

"Well, I can do that for you if you just call out his name!"

Hughes smiled wiping away his tears. "THANK YOU!!" He said, then turned his head to the sky. "FRRRRREIIINNND!!!" He screamed at the top of his lungs.

The Earl frowned in disgust and left in a poof of dust.

Hughes was confused. "HEY!!! WHAT DID I DO WRONG?!?"

----------

-Extras-

Byakuya sat tapping his fingers on the table.

"Uh.... What are you doing captain?" Renji asked

"I'm typing." Byakuya said and walked away.

--------

Atsuko sat evilly at bench in the park. Hehe! Now only twelve more captains to kill!! My plan is PERFECT!! He thought.

Suddenly he heard the sound of kicking and curses nearby. He followed the sound and found a strange man with green eyes and a long red scarf kicking the other guy in front of him.

"Hey that's mean!!" Atsuko shouted, pushing the green eyed man away.

The man glared. "This is none of your business! This is my sword, and I can do anything I want to it! Come Muramasa!"

"YOU CAN'T JUST KICK PEOPLE!!! I'LL REPORT YOU TO THE POLICE!!!" Atsuko shouted back.

"BUT MURAMASA IS JUST MY TOOL FOR ALL MY EVIL PLANS!! MUHAHAHA!!" The man screamed.

Atsuko turned to Muramasa. "You know you don't have to be treated this way... Just follow me..."

"NOOOOOOOOO!!! Muramasa would never follow you!!!! Isn't that right Muramasa??!!

"Chose what you think is right!" Atsuko said. "Tomorrow will be a great day!!!"

Muramasa's eyes were wide with shock, shifting between the two men. Finally be stood and began walking in Atsuko's direction.

"NOOOOOO!!!!" The man screamed. "MY SWEET CUTE MURAMASA!!! COME BACK TO MEEEEE!!" and he fell to his knees. "I LOVE YOU MURAMASA!!!

Hmmmm....

Hughes sat on the floor, and decided to try and understand the notes once more. It was quite difficult, seeing as the notes were just circles with weird lines in them… He threw them on the ground in disgust.

"Ugh, Timcampy… Is there any way out of this?"

Timcampy waved Tenma's arm around.

"So the only way to get out of the mob of quincys is to eat the arm? But that's DISGUSTING! I HATE EATING ARMS! There's a reason that people aren't cannibals, you know…"

Hughes paused, then took the arm out of Timcampy's mouth. He took a deep breath, sighed, and then with resolve, chomped into it.

Just then, a giant avalanche slid through, killing all of the quincys. Hughes stared at Temna's arm in disbelief. "So if I eat this, my wish will come true?"

Hughes sat down, thinking about all the things he could wish for. Going back home? Good cheese? New glasses? The possibilities were endless. Hughes looked up to the sound of crunching. He realized in horror that Timcampy had just eaten the rest of Tenma's arm. Before Hughes could do anything, General Cross appeared, looking very confused. Timcampy turned big and sat on his head.

&&&&&&&&&&&

"Hah, Kira, I HAVE YOU TIED UP!" Byakuya stood happily. Kira was looking very disgruntled. He sat with his hands tied behind his back.

Byakuya smiled. "Now all I have to do is escort you to the Squad 3 cells."

Kira frowned. "Even if you try to do that, I have friends that will help me to escape! Ha! You'll never make it there!"

"We'll see about that…"

Meanwhile…

Allen stood. "You are… A MONSTER!"

Swords backed away. "No… NO!" He pulled out a gun. "I know who YOU are! You're that wanted criminal! I'll take you in!"

Allen grinned evilly. "JUST TRY TO KILL ME!"

Swords pulled the trigger. Nothing happened.

"Hah." Allen opened his hand, revealing a bullet. "I took the bullet out."

"Ugh… Muramasa… I told you not to follow me anymore…" Atsuko looked behind him. Muramasa was still following.


	26. Chapter 26

Before we begin, HAPPY NEW YEARS! Here comes 2010!

And now…

"Oh... So that was your wish Timcampy..." Hughes muttered sadly. "I thought you loved ME!!"

Cross looked around in confusion. "Um... Why am I here?"

"STAY OUT OF THIS!!!" Hughes shouted and began pacing around the drill. "I mean.... I was always kind to you!! Why did you have to betray me like THIS???!!!"

Cross was getting annoyed. "Can I leave?"

"AHGGG!!!" Hughes screamed as the world around him faded out of existence. And suddenly, L sat in front of him.

"Hello Hughes-san, how ye' feelin'?" L said smiling evilly.

"AHHG!! W-who are you? Where is this place?" Hughes stuttered.

"Who am I, you ask? Where is here? These are questions I have no have no answers to... I have always been here, in this eternal place..."

"Uh..." Hughes was confused... "I CAN'T TRUST ANYONE ANYMORE!!!"

"Oh... You can't?" L said floating upside down, then put on a Grimmer mask. "You can only trust yourself!"

"Huh?"

"Oh... nevermind...." L said, and began to shunpo in random places. "But all I know is... YOU MUST KILL ATSUKO!!!"

"Wait... But I thought he was dead... "

"Oh... Is he.... Then that's no help to you... GOOD BYE!!" And L faded away.

"NOOOOOOOO!! WAIT YOU MUST HELP MEEEE!!!" Hughes screamed, but L was already gone, replaced by a confused looking General Cross.

YES!! The..... EXTRAS!!!

Muramasa was still following....

Byakuya began to walk through the bog with Kira.

The party slowly makes their way through increasingly rough country. It becomes darker and the forest gives way to flat marshland, which they eventually have to cross. All go up to their knees in the sludgy mire. The conditions are made worse by an army of midges which attack them all unmercifully. Kira slaps despairingly at the cloud of pests hovering around him.

"What do these critters eat when they can't get Shinigami?!" He groaned.

Swords stared at Allen in horror. "You're a MONSTER!!!" But then Swords pulled another gun from his jacket. "HEH HEH!!! I bet you didn't expect that!!! Never underestimate your opponent's... umm. weapon supply." And he shot.

Allen lay there blood pouring from his shoulder. "HEH!" Sword's chuckled. "You can call me Tenma's alternate universe self, or the 156th gung-ho-gun.... HELL! You can call me Swords! Just remember the pain!" And he walked off.

Muramasa finally stopped. "Well, I guess you're really leaving…" Muramasa lowered his head. "I should give this back to you," he said, holding out a soggy-looking sausage.

"AGH! NO! GET AWAY FROM ME!" Atsuko yelled, pushing Muramasa into the river and running off.

5 months later…

"Why do you people think you can just come on in and question these poor souls about their terrible pasts?"

Hughes blinked. "I'm not the first person that wanted to interview Muramasa?"

The lady ignored the question. "They're just trying to get over their pasts, and they don't need anyone barging in and questioning them. "

"But…. This is important…"

She hesitated, then sighed. "Fine, but you only get half an hour."

Hughes walked over to Muramasa's bed. Muramasa laid there, eyes wide, staring up at the ceiling.

"Um… I'm here to ask you about Atsuko."

There was no reaction from Muramasa.

"I know that you went into shock ever since he threw you in a river…" Hughes's voice trailed off. It didn't look like he was going to get much information here.

Then, Muramasa opened his mouth, if only faintly.

"What?" Hughes leaned over to hear what Muramasa was trying to say.

Muramasa opened his mouth again. "…Pee…. Need to…pee…"

"Ugh…" Hughes frowned. "Now what am I supposed to do? How am I going to find Atsuko?"

Wait a second… Hadn't someone interviewed him before? Maybe they got more information out of him! Hughes rushed to the front desk, leaving Muramasa with a full bladder.

Byakuya and Kira heard a loud rumbling in the distance. Suddenly, two giant tractors appeared.

"NO!" Shouted Byakuya. "WE MUST PROTECT THE WETLANDS!" He slashed apart Kira's bonds. "Go get a pan of soapy water!"

*****

"Heheh…" Allen chuckled. "I thought you knew better than to TURN YOUR BACK."

Swords spun around in a panic, pulling out his gun, but it was too late… Because he only fired ONE SHOT, NOT TWO.

Allen activated his anti-akuma weapon and hit Swords in the gut. He stood, swaying slightly, and walked off into the distance.

Komui looked up as Allen returned. "Oh, are you angry that we made you kill Swords?"

Allen gritted his teeth, then shouted "INNOCENCE, ACTIVATE!"

Kanda leapt in the way just in time, shielding Komui with MUGEN!

"Well shortstack, you chose to defy the Black Order. Now you will DIE."

Hughes walked to the front desk. "Um.... Excuse me, but in a past investigation, was anyone able to get any information from Muramasa?"

The lady looked up at him. "Well... Actually, you're the first to come and ask questions..."

"WHAAAATTT?!? But I thought this was well... Important..." Hughes muttered in despair. "Well I guess I'll have to find a way to make him talk MYSELF!!!" He walked over to Muramasa, to find a large wet spot at the end of his bed.

"Gross.... You PEEEED!!" Hughes said backing away.

Muramasa sighed with relief."Ahhhh.... So refreshing....." He then looked at Hughes, "So you want to know about Atsuko.... Well I suppose I should start at the beginning..."

Kira looked around in shock. Where am I supposed to find soapy water? He got an idea and smiled evilly, sneaking off into the bog.

"HEY!! You've got the wrong guy!!!" Allen shouted. "I'm just an Akuma!!!"

"YESSSS!" Kanda said grinning. "YOU'RE JUST AS BAD AS AN AKUMA!!! Tryin' to take my Komui away from meeee!!"

Muramasa was just about to start, when they both looked up to the sound of angry shouts from the other room.

"As Director of the hospital, it is YOUR job to keep the pee levels in the beds below 95%! The current levels are around 99%! One more peeing patient, and-"

A large rumbling began throughout the building. Hughes and Muramasa could hear the voice again.

"Oh no… It's already too late… GRAB SOMETHING SECUUUUUURE!"

Just then, Hughes saw Muramasa's bed begin to shake and glow yellow. It began to dissolve into PEE. Muramasa let out a startled yelp, scrambling off the bed. Hughes grabbed him and dashed out of the room, looking back to see a giant wave of pee beginning to swill back and forth. Hughes looked around. He saw the person who had shouted the warnings. It was a headband-wearing kid that had a hammer tucked into his belt.

"I think you're the last ones in here… I already evacuated the others…" He pulled out his hammer, muttering under his breath, "If the Director had LISTENED to me, none of this would have been necessary."

Hughes stared at this person's uniform. It was black with a silver crest… The sign of an Exorcist…

"Here, grab onto the handle."

Hughes and Muramasa quickly grabbed the handle, hearing a loud cracking behind them.

"We don't have much time… BIG HAMMER, LITTLE HAMMER, EXTEND!"

They were still for a moment, then were sent flying through the sky, narrowly avoiding the crushing wave of pee that enveloped the hospital. They landed a safe distance away, Hughes needing to vomit badly.

"I thought you had a stronger stomach than that… By the way, my name's Lavi. Nice to meet you." He extended a hand, Hughes shook it.

"Um… I'm Hughes."

Lavi smiled, tucking the hammer (which had somehow grown smaller again) back into his belt. "Why don't we all go have something to eat? I left some supplies and stuff just over this hill. Follow me!"

Lavi began to set off towards the hill, Muramasa doggedly following behind. Around Hughes, the world grew black.

Hughes looked up as L sat in front of him once more.

"You'd better still run while you still can…" L chuckled. "Soon your 'friends' are going to betray you."

"No…. I'm not LISTENING to you!"

L put on a mask of Lavi. "Hah, now that I saved that fool Hughes's life, he'll trust me with anything. It's not like I even have food over that hill… What does that naive fool take me for?"

"It's… It's not true…"

"Of course it is. And that Muramasa will follow him instead of you… Just like Timcampy did…"

"NO…"

"Wow, it looks like these Exorcists are taking ALL of your friends away…"

"NO! NOOOOOOO!"

Hughes opened his eyes. The darkness was gone.

"Hughes! Are you coming or not?" Lavi was standing at the top of the hill, with Muramasa at his side.

&&&&&&EXTRAS&&&&&&

"And now begins the battle of epic proportions! KANDA VS. ALLEN!" Komui stood in the center of the front hall, waving his microphone. "But first, take a look at this beautiful picture of my sister, LENALEE!"

He pulled down a cloth, and a giant poster of Lenalee was revealed, with various booing from the audience.

"Well… Let the battle begin!"

Meanwhile…

Kira grinned. "This is the best idea EVER. HEH."


	27. Chapter 27

Hughes glanced around worriedly. But then looked up, at Lavi and Muramasa smiling atop the hill. How can they be evil? He thought and trotted up the hill to join them. "Oh, sorry about that.... I was just thinking about a friend I lost long ago...." Hughes said as he reached the top. "It's truly great to have friends once again..." He looked up at the two, smiling GRIMMER STYLE.

Muramasa backed away in fear. But Lavi forced a smile back. "So, let me show you where the food is..." And he quickly sprinted down the other side of the hill, with Muramasa close behind him.

Hughes looked up sniffing the air. "If only my daughter had been able to feel the joy of fishing...." And then followed the two.

He reached the bottom panting, and looked around for Lavi. "HEY! Where'd you two GOOO!?" He yelled. Suddenly, he felt a large object hit the back of his head. He heard a CRACK at contact, and fell unconscious to the ground....

Hughes awoke. It was dark all around him, and he could hear faint voices around him.

"You didn't kill him did you..?" One voice said.

"Like I'd hit him that hard... You should check if his jaw is broken though..." another voice.

"Don't even say that...." And he heard footsteps approaching. "WAKE UP HUGHES-SAN!!" This was Lavi's voice.

Hughes felt the blindfold he had on get untied. And he saw Lavi staring down at him, smiling.

"EHEH!!!! HAH Hughes-san we TRICKED you!" He said suddenly.

Hughes returned the smile, but was much more confused. "I was tricked?"

Kanda easily beat Allen in the off-screen battle. "EHHEH!! How do you like that BEAN SPROUT!!?"

"AHHGG DON'T CALL ME SMALLLLLLLLLLL!!! I'LL EAT YOUR LEGS AND STICK EM ON KRORY'S HEAD!!"

uhh....

Kira smiled. His plan was perfect. He would escape from Byakuya when there was a lot of confusion. Then come back after Byakuya had been killed and enjoy his victory...

It had been a couple of hours and Kira knew that would be long enough. He walked back to where he had abandoned Byakuya and felt a bit guilty. I left a man to die here today... He thought. No.... He deserved all of it... Those types of people should all DIE!

Kira reached the spot and looked up in horror.

Byakuya lay in front of the two tractors stubbornly. "--- Until I get tired, then I'll-" He suddenly noticed Kira. "Oh, GOOD!! You have the soapy water, yes? NOW we can save this marsh!!"

"Eh… Lavi?" Hughes sat up. "Um… What am I doing here?"

"Can't you see? I have captured you! You are far too trusting, Hughes-san! BWAHAHAHAHA!"

"Wait a sec…" Hughes murmured with a frown. "There's something wrong here…" He thought back…

_"EHEH!!!! HAH Hughes-san we TRICKED you!" …… "You are far too trusting, Hughes-san!"_

"The only one that calls me Hughes-san is L!" Hughes looked up at Lavi. "YOU'RE NOT LAVI!"

Lavi stepped back for a moment, then grinned. "Hah, looks like you figured me out, Hughes-san." Lavi pulled off his headband. He whipped off his scarf and began to twirl it. "I am really… GINKO-SAN'S HOLLOW SIDE!!!"

"Wait… WHAT!?!?"

"I'm sure you had already guessed that by now. HAH. Well it doesn't matter."

Hughes blinked. "So… Wouldn't hollow Ginko be missing his other eye?"

Lavi sighed. "No, I'm his HOLLOW side; therefore I'm the OPPOSITE of him. Get it?"

"No…"

"Grrr…."

Meanwhile…

"Do you want me to KILL YOU, SHORTSTACK?"

"AGH! Wait… You just called me shortstack… but earlier you said BEANSPROUT… WHICH ONE IS IT, EH, KANDA!?"

"Um… I'm gonna go eat soba noodles now."

Kanda quickly fled the scene. He looked over as Krory ate a bowlful of wasabi and promptly died of a heart attack 40 seconds later.

……******……  
The whole scene was quiet for a few seconds, before Kira fell to his knees.

"Byakuya… There's something I have to tell you…"

Byakuya's eyes widened. "You… You don't have the soapy water, do you?"

Kira could feel his face burning with shame at Byakuya's accusing glare. "It's just that… I…"

Byakuya's expression slowly changed from shock to sorrow…

"You see, Byakuya, I was sent here to gain your trust… to try to negotiate with you… And eventually, to… encourage you to leave the marsh."

"Kira…" Byakuya pounded the wet ground with his fist. "Kira, I TRUSTED YOU! You're nothing but a TRAITOR! You KNEW this would happen!? How… HOW COULD YOU DO THIS?"

Kira stared at the ground. "I've made my decision, Byakuya." He stood, picking up a long stick and a handy spear-launcher. "I will help you defend this marsh."

Byakuya stared up at Kira in amazement. He… He is the ruler of the marsh!

Nanao sat in one of the tractors. "It looks like Kira is wanting to do battle. Shall I deliver the finishing blow?"

"Nah…" Shunsui sat back in his seat. "I think Ichimaru wants to deal with this."

Gin stepped out of his tractor and faced Kira with a smile. "So, Izuru, how does it feel to have betrayed your own people?"

* * *

"WELL! Anyways... HOW DID YOU KNOW, HUGHES?" Lavi asked. "What gave me away!?!?"

"Well you see...." Hughes began. "LAVI HAS A MOLE ON HIS LEFT CHEEK!!"

"Eh?... He does?... And how do YOU know that?"

Hughes smiled "Well I guess you could just call it Woman's intuition..."

"WHHHAAAAAAT!!!!"

(few dramatic lines and battle scenes later...)

Kira laid on the ground coughing up blood...He glared up at Gin. "YOU KNOW!! You shouldn't use the front of the blade on a guy as small as MEE!!!"

"EH...?"

"But I see what you're trying to do.... You're just trying to defeat me, to make me an even smaller guy then I was before.....!" Kira yelled. "WELL!! I'm NOT GOING TO LET THAT HAPPEN!!! I WILL DEFEAT YOU CAPTAIN!!"

"OH MY GOD! KANDA KILLED KRORY!!" Komui yelled.

"Youuuu BASTARD!!!" Allen screamed and attacked Kanda once again....


	28. Chapter 28

Lavi stood, confused. Just then, Muramasa came bounding up to them.

"MAASTER!"

"Urgh..." Lavi grimaced.

Hughes looked at him suspiciously. "Why does the thing still call you Lavi? I mean, 'Lavi' didn't grimace, it was Ginko-San's hollow side...."

"Would YOU like to keep saying Ginko-San's hollow side over and over?"

"No.... I suppose not... But the thing that's really strange is my lack of reaction."

Just then Hughes's eyes widened. "You- You LIED to me! I see that you're with MURAMASA now....! I thought you had feeeeelings for me... I guess I was wrong. You Ginko-san's hollow sides are all the same."

Lavi stood for a moment, then muttered, "How many are there?"

* * *

Kira and Gin stood facing each other. Gin smiled. This would be fun.

******We now interrupt this epic battle to being you the following.******

(Intermission plays randomly in the background, while you can see Lunge's hand tapping over and over and over and over...)

******And now back to the show******

Kira (now holding Wabisuke) slices Gin in half. Gin's blood gushes out of him as he collapses to the ground.

"Heh. I used your moment of being distracted by the hand to STRIKE." Kira scoffed. He looked up at the sky and watched the blood of his former captain rain down upon him. "Heh. HEH. HEHEH. HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!"

A while later...

Kira stood on a hilltop. He looked around, then began to recite. "Assassin's rule number one-"

He stopped as he looked up and froze. Gin Ichimaru stood in front of him, smiling.

"Bu- But I KILLED you..."

Gin began to walk over to him. "Ye know ye can't really live as a Shinigami without me, Izuru. D'ya want me to HELP you, hmmmmmm?" He reached out a hand but Kira jumped back with fright.

"I- I just-"

%%%%%%%%%%%%%~

In another epic offscreen battle, Kanda defeats Allen AGAIN.

"That's 10 wins, 0 losses for Kanda..." Reever muttered.

"You don't even have to count my last battle against this shortstack... I could beat him with my eyes closed."

"Oh yeah...?" Allen lifted his head up from where he was laying. "What if the battle was... ONSCREEN?"

* * *

"NANI??!?!" Kanda screamed. "ONSCREEN?!?"

"Yep, you against me KANDA!!" Allen laughed evilly "I AM... Uhhh"

Kanda frowned. "But Allen, I would love to show off my skill and awesomeness, but "they" wouldn't allow it!"

"Are you sure about that? Hmmm?!?" Allen said. "May be I should ask "them"!!"

---

"3," Hughes said.

"WHHATT!!??" Lavi screamed. "How did you know?!?"

"Woman's intuition!"

Lavi died.

---

One day later

1----

Hughes lay shivering in the cold stroking his beard thoughtfully which was quite long by now. Hmmm what should I do?? He thought. Now that Lavi was gone and Muramasa had run far away he could do anything he wanted.

He picked a boulder up and smashed it into his head. "Nooooo! NOOOOOOOO!!!

-----

Kira shivered and eyes bulged.

Gin frowned and grabbed him up by the scruff punching him in the face.

"I WONT LET YOU HURT YOUR SELF ANYMORE!!"

* * *

Hughes sat in the desolate wasteland of… Where was he, anyway? It looked kind of like Hueco Mundo… But less trees…

"Hello, daddy."

Hughes spun around to see Elicia behind him, expressionless.

"E-Elicia?"

"Daddy, I waited for you to come home."

"E-Elicia, I'm so sorry…" Hughes ran up to his daughter, reaching out his arms to embrace her-

"She's a witch, you know."

Hughes stopped himself just in time, narrowly avoiding the knife that Elicia had drawn.

"W-What's going on here? Who are you?"

"What d'you mean, daddy?" Asked Elicia, smiling menacingly. "I'm your daughter. Follow me daddy. If you come with me, you will be able to leave this place."

Hughes turned and ran. He didn't look back, not even once.

Hughes looked up to see that he was in a cobblestoned alleyway. It looked like to sidestreet he took to get to work every day. He hurried up the path until he saw before him the military headquarters that he had made his home in.

Hughes felt relief sweep his whole body. Finally, I'm home! This is what I've been waiting for all this time!

Hughes ran up to the main entrance, but saw Mustang standing there ominously, one hand wearing his flame transmutation glove.

"I can't let you in, Hughes."

"What?"

"You just don't get it, do you? What makes you think that you can just run away and then expect us to welcome you back? You're nothing but a TRAITOR!"

"But… Roy, I-"

"You never cared about anyone. Not the military, not your friends." Mustang grabbed Hughes. "WHAT IF I HAD DIED?"

* * *

Kouga sat in his inner world drinking tea. Muramasa sat across from him, staring nervously into the water. Kouga looked up at him. "You should drink your tea." When Muramasa did not move, he asked, "Is something wrong?"

"It's… It's just that… You have to let me go, Kouga! I have to- There's someone out there that I have to KILL."

Kouga raised his eyebrows. "You want me to just trust you, after you betrayed me?"

Muramasa did not speak.

Kouga sighed. "I know what it feels like to have someone you must kill. Very well, Muramasa, you can go."

"Those were brave words, Muramasa-san." Lavi walked up to the two of them.

Muramasa's eyes widened in shock. "Lavi! I thought you were dead… You jumped off a building or something… How did you get in here, anyway?"

"Uh…" Lavi shrugged. "Well Muramasa, if you're going to kill who I think you're going to kill, I'm going WITH YOU!"

And with that, Lavi and Muramasa began their long trek through the desert.

##################

Kira's eyes widened. "Hughes… I can't feel his soul wavelength anymore… He must be in TROUBLE! I have to DO SOMETHING!"

Gin dropped him on the ground. "Eh, Izuru?"

"I'm sorry captain… I'll have to leave the rest of it to you."

Kira shunpoed away.

And now for the dramatic climax…

Gracia sat atop a high throne. "Eheheheh, now the madness will spread throughout the WORLD! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Allucard ran into the room where she sat. "Gracia-sama, the forces of the Shinigami are moving closer! We believe that they're going to try and bring down the madness generator and storm our fortress."

Gracia shrugged. "This is what we've been waiting for. Prepare all units for battle."

Ed Elric entered the room, grinning. "Heh, I can't wait ta get into the battle! I've been waitin' ta use this new automail…"

Allucard frowned. "You're so short that-"

"EH? Who are ye callin' short, you blood sucking-"

Gracia grimaced. "If you two are going to fight, go fight the Shinigami!"

The two left the room quickly.

^^^^^^AND NOW^^^^^^^^^

EXTRAS!!!

"Eh, what do you mean, 'extras'?" Kanda growled.

"I think that we still haven't worked our way up to the standards of a plotline yet, Kanda…" Allen explained.

"No, you see, it's like this," Reever interrupted. "Every series needs a form of comic relief to keep people entertained. That's why we're here."

"Actually, all of you are wrong." Komui entered the room. "I just got a letter from 'them', saying that 'they' were too lazy to actually stick us into the plot line."

"So 'they' just pit Allen and I against each other like animals?" Kanda grimaced. "I don't think so. I'm gonna have a little talk with 'them'."


	29. Chapter 29

**And now, what you've all been waiting for: AN UPDATE!**

* * *

Allucard walked out of the fortress smiling to see already two opponents there.

Muramasa and Lavi looked up at him. "WAIT!" Lavi shouted. "WE WANT TO HELP YOUU!!"

Allucard looked down at them with surprise. "You no LIE!?" He asked...

"Wait... Wha-..?"

"HAH! So you ARE lying!! To defeat you I think I'll just have to use my form from one hundred years back...." And Allucard began expanding.

Ed walked outside on to the battle field and suddenly a portal opened up in front of him, and Hughes came stumbling out of it. Ed felt a flashback come ~There's a real art to train walking~ and the good in him once again pulsed TRUE!!

"Major HUGHES!!" Ed shouted running over to where Hughes had fallen. "Let me help YOUU!!!!"

Hughes lay shivering on the ground. "The monster inside me has grown so BIG" He muttered "...CHOMP... CHOMP.. CHOMP, CHOMP! CHOMP! The NOISE! Some one STOP IT!" He suddenly turned to Ed smiling.

"Uh.. Major Hughes...?"

"FOOD!"

CHOMP!

Darkness.

EXTRAS!!

Kanda turned to the sky. "Uh.... Hello"

"........................................Yes?"

Kanda looked down... "Well uh.... I Was just wondering if us D. Gray man folk could be put in the main story Line....?"

"......"

"Well I reckon that's what we deserve by now... Ya' know how we've been in the story for a while now...."

* * *

Meanwhile…

Lavi and Muramasa stood, shocked, as they watched Allucard TRANSFORM INTO…..

EXCALIBUR.

"What the-?" Lavi blinked. How could this be?

Muramasa began to tremble. He didn't know if he had the skill to take on Allucard's new form.

"BAKA!" Excalibur shouted, shoving his cane in Muramasa's face. Muramasa stood frozen in fear, unable to run.

Lavi could only watch in horror as Excalibur then turned upon him, stabbing Lavi in the shins with the cane. Lavi collapsed to the ground, Excalibur's deafening roars surrounding him.

No… There's no way Muramasa and I can win now… We have to run… We have to get far away from here. Lavi stood, swaying slightly.

Excalibur grinned (yes, this is possible). So the lad still had some strength in him, eh?

Lavi pulled out his hammer, making his way to where Muramasa still stood, stunned from Excalibur's first blow.

"M-Muramasa, we have to get out of here!" Lavi whispered harshly.

Muramasa did not move.

"Muramasa! Snap out of it! D- Didn't you say you still had someone to kill? You still have so much to do in your life! We have to get out of here, now! We can ride the hammer!"

Muramasa still did not move.

"WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!" Lavi shouted, slapping Muramasa as he fell to the ground. "I understand what you're going through! Anyone would be shocked after having that… THING… point its cane in their face! But you have to LIVE!"

Muramasa's eyes widened, and for a second Lavi thought that his words had finally reached him.

Muramasa tilted his head to one side. "Agh… all this noise… Why can I still hear these voices? Is breaking it the only way to stop the noise? I have to… stop this sound…"

Lavi collapsed on the ground in despair. He watched as Excalibur advanced on both of them. Was this truly how they were going to die? Could it really end like this?

Just then, two knives flew out of nowhere and pinned Excalibur to a tree. There was a deep, evil laugh.

"HAHAHA! Ah've finally g't ye now!"

Lavi's eyes widened as a tall, blond man with glasses and a long coat walked over to the pinned Excalibur.

"Ah knew Ah wuld get ye one way 'r anuther."

Excalibur spat in the man's face. "So it's you… ANDERSON."

Kira was wandering through the forest, looking for Hughes. He looked up, shocked. He could feel Hughes's soul once more… Except this time it seemed… BIGGER…

He looked up to see something moving through the forest. "Agh, what's that white thing?" He shouted. Then he realized. It was HUGHES.

He stared in horror at the blobby mass in front of him. He could see Hughes half sticking out of it.

"H-Hughes? HOW DID YOU BECOME LIKE THIS? NOOOOOO!"

Hughes turned in Kira's direction.

"Hughes, don't you remember me? I'm your friend Kira! Izuru! We trained together… I helped to heal you… I… HOW COULD THIS HAVE HAPPENED? I- I have to SAVE you, Hughes! I will save you no matter what!"

Kira strode over to the blobby mass and stuck in his hand as far as it would go. His hand touched something cold, metallic.

Eh? A bicycle?

Kira tightened his grip around the metal and pulled with all his might…

And out came Ed, dripping with ooze.

"EH!?!?" Kira blinked. Well, that was unexpected.

Hughes turned and began to lumber away, his interest lost. He began to grumble under his breath, "CURSE IT CURSE IT CURSE IT CURSE IT CURSE IT CURSE IT CURSE IT CURSE IT CURSE IT CURSE IT CURSE IT CURSE IT CURSE IT CURSE IT CURSE IT CURSE IT CURSE IT CURSE IT CURSE IT CURSE IT CURSE IT CURSE IT CURSE IT CURSE IT CURSE IT CURSE IT CURSE IT CURSE IT CURSE IT CURSE IT CURSE IT CURSE IT CURSE IT."

&*&*&*XTRAS&*&*&*

Kanda shuffled his feet. "Ye know what? I'll just be honest. We're just as good as anyone in the series. We deserve better treatment, a better payroll, and DEFINITELY a better script. I won't take any more of this ABUSE!"

A pause.

"Kanda… How would you like to see 'us'?"

Kanda's eyes widened. "S-see you? I-I-"

"You must make the choice."

"OF COURSE I WANT TO SEE YOU!"

"Very well then."

As Komui, Allen and Reever watched, Kanda vanished from sight. They were shocked, and could only hope that Kanda might return alive.

Kanda appeared in a dimly lit room. He saw three containers sitting on a platform. He looked inside the containers to see three neon-colored brains.

"EH?" Kanda scratched his head. "Y-you are 'them'? A few puny brains?"

"How dare you insult out true forms, insolent D. Gray Man character!" The brain in the middle glowed when it spoke.

"I'm sorry!" Kanda backed off quickly. "I spoke out of turn…"

"Yes…" Started the brain on the right, which was a peculiar shade of green. "These are our true forms. So now do you understand how you could never oppose us?"

"Er… Not really…. In fact I could kill you with one blow!" Kanda shouted, pulling out mugen.

* * *

*The following has been re-dubbed by FUNimation and all those other good anime producing companies*

Hughes suddenly turned to Kira, "Shinigami?.." Hughes asked, some how tilting his head.

"Yes! Hughes I'm Kira remember..?" Kira smiled with relief.

"DARN YOU SHINIGAMI! DARN THE SOUL SOCIETY!! STOP JERKING ME AROUND!!" Hughes screamed and began twirling around.

"No Hughes. Don't feel that way.... Remember 'they' are always looking down at you and smiling." Kira said.

"NOOOOO!! DARN 'THEMMMM'!!!!" Hughes began to twirl faster.

Kira sighed. "I see.... So you really have become a fallen one.... I must HEAL you..." And at that he jumped into Hughes' inner world.

Elsewhere....

Excaliber pulled the swords out of his arms wincing. "Me fighting my arch enemy on a night like this, what irony..."

Andreson frowned. "Ya lard wad, I dinna think tis ironic! Ye DIE NOW!" and he pulled out a especially shiny sword.

"Your trump card EH?" Alucard said now back in his original form.

Andreson smiled and suddenly began to chomp on it.

"AHGGG!! Andreson!! What are you doing!?!?" Alucard screamed.

"Igg gonna bEeet ya af'a I eat tis sworg..." Anderson said still nomming on the weapon.

"Your going to eat your own weapon?!? How disgraceful!"

"NUHg"

Alucard turned to him sadly,"Human, please don't become a monster like me..."

"NOm... Nom..."

"FINE! I'll fight you coward!!" Alucard said pulling out his guns. "Liz, Patty, Lets do IT!"

An hour later....

Kira stood in front of Hughes breathing hard. "Now... That I've been in your inner world, I know what you life was like Hughes... I'm sorry I didn't understand you before..."

*Flash back to when Kira was in Hughes' inner world and reviving all his memories*

Hughes stood in in his house. His newly born daughter lay on a bed near him. She had been struck by a deadly illness and was coughing up blood. Suddenly the phone rang, and Hughes ran to get it.

"Hello" He said.

"Oh yes, Hello. This is Roy Mustang from the military" Said Roy. "I just wanted to see if you wanted to follow up on my proposal. I made earlier. We need some new members you see. If you don't join the military your daughter will die! MUHAHA!"

Hughes began to cry, "It's just.... I don't want to leave my family.... I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!"

"Hehe, well you have to make your decision now Hughes-san!"

"Do you promise to treat my daughter fro her illness?"

"Of course! HEHE!"

"Fine I'll do it.."

"Good lad Hughes-san. Besides, the military is easy work, you'll be able to visit your family again in no time! Haha!"

*Ripple effect*

Kira was now on his knees crying, "What you've been through!! It's so sad!!!"

The blobby Hughes turned to Kira and suddenly transformed into Hughes again, and walked over to Kira patting his back. "Your crying for ME!!.."

Kira sniffed. "Hughes is that really you?"

"Oh, you don't recognize me, that's probably because I'm not in my white form..."

No extras NOW MUHAHAHA!!!


	30. Chapter 30

Lavi saw Muramasa blink.

Muramasa shook his head. "Ugh… what happened back there…?"

"What? You don't remember?" Lavi asked.

"All I know is…. I went to MURAMASA'S HAPPY PLACE."

"Uh…okay? But we have to get out of here!"

Muramasa nodded. "Whatever you say, Lavi-san."

San…? Lavi shrugged. He set off into the forest, Muramasa following close behind him.

After a long period of running they reached a clearing. They both fell to the ground, gasping for breath.

"Agh…. At least… we're safe…" Lavi panted.

"But Lavi-san, do you even know where we're going?

Lavi glared at Muramasa. "Of course. We have to get to the fortress. That's where all the EXPERIMENTS are going on."

"Is there anything I can say to stop you, Lavi-san?"

"HMMM? Why would you WANT to stop me? You know what?! I'm going on ALONE!"

"But Lavi-san! I want to HELP you!"

"How can I even trust you? I don't need your help, you pathetic Zanpaktou! You even betrayed your own master! I don't have any reason to trust you. Besides, your just a weapon. I don't NEED you."

"B-but…. L-lavi-s-san……"

As Lavi began to walk away, Muramasa stood and began to follow him.

Lavi spun around angrily, shoving Muramasa to the ground. "NO! I said that I'm going on without you! Just stay here!"

Lavi turned around and marched off into the distance.

Anderson stared at Alucard in horror. He knew that he should take his weapons from out of the tree and block Alucard's attack… But he also knew that if he tried to block, his weapons would be killed. No, Anderson would rather die than let his weapons get hurt. He watched with resolve, accepting his death, as Alucard raised Liz and Patty, activated his soul resonance link, and then opened his mouth.

"DEATH…CANNON!"

There was a flash of light, and then darkness.

Anderson opened his eyes to see Alucard standing over him.

Alucard looked down. "I'm sorry, human, but this is what you deserve for eating your own weapon. At least you didn't become a monster like me. I'm afraid you won't live much longer. Goodbye, Anderson."

As Alucard walked away, he heard a muffled groan behind him. He turned around to see Anderson trying to move. Alucard walked back over.

"Please…" Anderson gasped. "Take…. Mah ch'ld…"

Alucard blinked.

Anderson raised one hand, and pointed to a bundle of blankets sitting near a tree. "Ye…. Mus' pr'mse…"

"But…but…"

Anderson began to cough, and then curled up Greed-style.

Alucard stared at him in horror, and then to the small bundle of blankets, from which he could hear soft snores. He walked over to it, muttering, "Well I'm sure that it has virgin blood…"

***

"What?" Kira asked.

"Um… I dunno… I JUST WANT TO SEE MY DAUGHTER AGAIN!"

"That's why you must let me SAVE YOU, Hughes-san!"

"Well ye won't be able ta in a while." Kira turned around quickly at the sound of the voice behind him. He saw... GIN ICHIMARU.

"'ello, Izuru. Is this little cheatin' boy yer friend?"

EX-TR-AS

Kanda blinked. He was in an empty cell, and his sword was gone.

"HAHAHA! Did you really think that that was our true forms? You fool! You are now sentenced to stay in this jail cell FOREVER! BWAHAHAHAHAHHA!"

* * *

EXTRAS BWAHAHAH

3 Months later....

Kanda sat in the silence, as a cold dry wind blew through the cell.

Suddenly he heard a creaking sound to his right, and jumped up with surprise.

"WHO'S THERE?!" Kanda yelled, backing up to the far wall with a rock ready to throw.

He heard a cough, and the door fully opened revealing an young man wearing an officer uniform. "Your free." He said.

Kanda squinted at the light streaming in, unable to comprehend what the man said. "WHAAATT!?!"

"Your a free man now Yu Kanda, go!" He motioned to the door.

"B-but.... Uhhh... I can't leave!!!! What are you talking about?!!?" Kanda yelled. "They said I'd have to stay here for all eternity!!"

The officer shrugged. "New orders, don't question them. You released!"

Kanda only whimpered as he stumbled to the door.

~~~~ Later,,,,,\\

Kanda stood at the front of the Black Order, and felt tears well up in his eyes. "For years have I dreamed about coming back here!!! Climbing up the cliff, then walking to the door! AH!"

He began walking toward the entrance when suddenly he saw a man quickly walk by him. Kanda swiftly turned around, but the man was gone. Did he just jump off the cliff? Kanda thought.

Suddenly Lenalee came running up from to entrance to him. "Oh, Kanda! Welcome back!.... Is something wrong?"

"Huh? Oh! It was nothing... I just thought I just saw an old friend of mine...."

At the Mess hall.

Kanda sat at the bar sipping tea. He watched as Finders and exorcists walked by, and smiled with nostalgia. He suddenly felt an evil presence nearby, and looked up to see Krory smiling down on him.

"I thought you were dead?" Kanda said as Krory sat in the seat next to him.

"Uhh.... I got better?"

They sat there for s few second of silence.

"Soooo... How was it?" Krory asked tilting his head to the side.

Kanda glared. "How was what?"

"Ye' know, being sent in the eternal hell for the last week..... Yes eternal....?"

"Uhh... Fine?"

"Well it must of been really boring, having no one to talk to and all...."

"Yeah"

Krory grinned, "Well I like the beard, you should keep it!"

Kanda suddenly flet a rush of anger flood inside of him, and he stood up menacingly, holding Mugen up ready to strike. "DON'T YOU EVER INSULT MY BEARD!!!" He screamed, and then ran out of the mess hall.

Kanda's eyes widened. What have I done!?! WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME!?!?! He thought as he raced down the hallways. IT WOULD BE BETTER IF I WAS JUST DEAD!!!

Kanda stumbled into the SCARY ROOM and unsheathed Mugen, holding it to his throat.

Suddenly Komoui walked in. "Hey.... Your not allowed in he-.... Kanda what are you doing?"

Tear poured down his cheeks as he muttered, "I can't live on anymore Komoui! I'm better off dead..."

"No... Kanda, Don't do it, Don't throw your life away!!" Komoui yelled stepping forward. "It would be a real waste.... Of innocence"

"I nearly killed my friend..." Kanda looked up with bloodshot eyes. "I NEARLY KILLED MY FRIEND DAMMIT!!!!" He suddenly stood up, and walked over pulling Komoui up by his scruff.

"You know Komoui.... I wasn't alone in the cell all that week.... That horrid, horrid, week." Kanda said, now grinning.

"EH??....~~~"

"NO! No.. THAT's disgusting..... There was another prisoner there.... He was quite talkative..... He just talked and talked, all day and all night. He never quite talking....." Kanda pulled Komoui from up off the ground. "GUESS WHAT I DID TO HIM!?!? HEHEHE!"

"Don't know, what?"

"I KILLED HIM!!!...." Kanda's eyes widened, and he fell to the floor on his knees. "I-I killed... him..." Kanda suddenly bursted into tears. "I killed my friend....." He whimpered. "WAHHH!!!!"

Hughes stood in the corner knowingly. Now you understand.... My friend... Why you should LIVE. And at that, disappeared.

(Hughes was his "friend", and dude who jumped off the cliff by the way.... It really does make the perfectest sense...?)

Ohhhh... Didn't realize perfectest was a word....

eheh, and that all for now,,,, Hughes was even able to make his way into this prepare.... I wonder how....?


	31. Chapter 31

Lavi headed back to the clearing. A breeze blew through the woods. Lavi looked up, surprised. He could hear the ocean in the distance… But why? Wasn't he in the middle of the woods.

"Hey…. Muramasa? You were right, I can't get to the fortress from that way, we'll have to go around…." Lavi looked around. "Muramasa? Muramasa!? Where are you!? I told you to stay here!"

Lavi ran up to the top of the hill and looked down. Below him was a steep cliff, ending with dark, tumbling waves. He thought he could see a body in the waves, seagulls pecking at it furiously.

"MURAMASA!" Lavi began to climb down the cliff face. "MUUURAAAAMAAASAAAA!"

When Lavi finally made it to the bottom of the cliff, the body was gone. "May-maybe Muramasa's… still alive…" Lavi murmured to himself. "He's probably been waiting for me all this time…" He looked up, and saw a small cave in the rock face with light coming out of it. Could it be…? Was Muramasa waiting for him there? Lavi decided he was tired of climbing and 'rode the hammer' to the cave. The light was from a fire, and across the cave, holding a dangerous-looking knife, was…….. L.

"Cheating boy?" Kira looked up at his captain in horror. "What are you talking about? HUGHES-SAN IS A GOOD PERSON!"

Gin chuckled. "Ye were always so trustin' Izuru…"

Kira knew that he wasn't strong enough to defeat his captain… but he HAD TO! He had to save Hughes-san and return to his friends…. Kira stood up and drew Wabisuke. He would defeat his captain.

Gin smiled. "It's too late, Izuru…" Gin put out his hand, and a hell butterfly appeared on it. "This l'ttle thing will eat yer friend!"

"NOOOO!" Kira screamed. "I will never let Hughes die!"

"D'ya really think ye can oppose me, Izuru?" Gin drew his blade swiftly, shouting "Skewer that punk, SHINSO!"

The blade went right through Kira's heart, and Kira collapsed onto the ground.

"Ehheh… How's it feel ta be stabbed in the heart?" Gin walked over to Kira and picked up Wabisuke. He crashed it against the ground, shattering into a million pieces. He walked away, leaving the dying Kira and Lost One Hughes to contemplate their defeat.

***

Extars….

Kanda never quite recovered…. Until the next episode, where everyone forgot about it.

And that was when the Black Order decided…. TO MAKE A HOST CLUB!

(to be continued…)

(Don't forget to write the Alucard part… I didn't add it…)

* * *

Alucard smiled, and began to drink Anderson's baby's blood. Suddenly he spat, "YOUR BLOOD'S DISGUSTING!!" He yelled but then realized that the baby was an AKUMA....

L stared at Lavi, then sneezed. "Hello Lavi-san..." He said.

Lavi looked up in surprise, "How do you know my name? Who are you?"

"....."

"Uhh.... Well that really doesn't matter.... Umm... Have you seen my friend? He might have passed by recently..."

L shook his head,

"Uh... Okay... Well, if you wouldn't mind, could you put away that knife?.. I'm not here to hurt you..." Lavi asked.

"What knife?" L said, and Lavi looked up to see the knife had disappeared.

L grinned, and slicked back his hair, *AIZEN STYLE* "Ye' know I'm the real L...." He murmured.

"Uhh... Sure...." Lavi sighed, trying to figure out how to get out of that cave...

L, who was now eating some strange salty sausage said. "You know those PEOPLE....?? EH? EHHH?? You know them...?" Not waiting for an answer he continued. "They're doing eeeevillll experiments... EEEEVIIILLL.... on people's minds and stuff....." He shrugged, then tossed the sausage out of the cave. "Nothing worst then wasting, he sighed and retrieved the sausage. then returned to Lavi. "You want to eat it LAVI-SAN?!?!"

"Umm... No thank you.... I should be taking my leave now...." And Lavi began to back away from L.

"NO... NOO!! Lavi-san... The story has just begun... Why do you think your shaking!?!? HMM???"

"Uhhh.... You're creeping me out...?" Lavi muttered.

"BAKA!!!" Suddenly L turned into Excalibur. "IT'S from withdrawal symptoms!! BWHAHAHA!!!"

Lavi his legs weaken with horror, and before he could recover, he slipped out of the cave into the dark depths of the ocean.

Later.....

Lavi stood in a small cramped bathroom. He felt bile rise up his throat, but he forced it down, and quickly exited, in a dire search for fresh air. He stumbled on to something that looked like a deck. He breathed in the fresh ocean air with relief, and suddenly realized... HE'S ON A BOAT!

He watched Muramasa walk toward him smiling, and thought; Oh no... Not AGAIN!!

Kira died some more....

EXTRAS!! ...Yes!....

Allen wandered around the Black Order. He had only been there for a few days and wanted to explore around a bit. He wandered the hallways when eventually he found a strange room marked: SCARY ROOM; BEWARE...

"I wonder what's in there?" He said thinking out loud, and immediately opened the door. Suddenly Lotus flower petals came rushing out, and he saw, what he never wanted to see.

"OH! Hello there! It looks like we have a new lady guest!" Komoui said pen and paper in hand.

"oooh.... Do we now? Why hello there young lady!" Cross said. Then glared as Allen entered *BING*

"oooohhh, Cool!! What's your name?"

"oooohhh, Cool!! What's your name?" Two Lavis said together.

"uh" Kanda grunted.

"It's so nice to have you here!" Lenalee said bowing. (W/ short hair mind you.,...)

Bookman glared. "I'm out!" He said and began walking toward the entrance.

"Whhhhaaat? But why??"

"Whhhhaaat? But why??" The Lavis said.

"Yes, Bookman, you are the smallest and cuddliest main character we could find in the series. You fit the role perfectly..." Komoui said.

"EHH?!!" Bookman snorted and Shunpoed out.

Komoui sighed... "Well I guess this club can't run anymore... Unless of course we can find another person who can play the cute cuddely character for our club.... Hmmm?"

Cross grinned at Allen evilly. "Well, you know... We can always use this nice fine lady to play the part... Don't cha' think?"

The group turned to Allen, and nodded in approval.

"Yeah... He looks like the type!"

"Yeah... He looks like the type!"

"If everyone else agrees, fine you're in! Welcome to the Black Order Host Club!" Komoui said marking something on the paper he was holding. "Wait... What was your name again?"

"Uhhh..... Allen..."

*......*

*BING* *BING* *BING* *BING* *BING* *BING* *BING* *BING*!!!

* * *

With Extras first….

After a few minutes of trying to get order within the Order, things finally settled down in the Host club.

"Well now that we have that all cleared up…" Both the Lavis said in unison.

Just then, a door that had never been there before opened up, a hooded figure sticking his head into the room.

"Why hello there…" The hooded figure said, as the others spun around to look at him. "My name is Daisya Barry. Is anyone here interested in buying a limited-edition curse doll Belzeneff for just $9.99? If you buy one now you can get 2 free…"

"That sounds like a pretty good deal…" Muttered Lenalee.

"No, Lenalee! Don't trust him!" Komui shouted dramatically.

"He might look innocent…" Lavi1 began.

"But the curse doll thing's for real!" Lavi2 responded.

Lenalee sighed. "Well then maybe he'll curse all of you for not buying one."

The Lavis' eyes opened wider. "Y-you're right!" They ran up to Daysia, shouting, "I'd like to but 1000000 of those curse dolls!"

"Really? I'm delighted."

Just then, the front door to the room opened, and a young girl walked in holding a crystal ball. "I'm here to see my brother! I can see the future, and I know that my brother's in here somewhere." She looked around, stopping at the glowering figure of Cross. "There you are, brother!" She ran up to Cross and hugged him.

"Hmmm…" Cross grunted. "Can I keep it?"

The others just stared.

Cross picked up the girl. "Fine. From now on, you're my sister. And you have to do everything I say. I heard they were hiring down in the mines. Maybe you could earn me some money. Now shoo."

Deisya looked at Cross in horror. "But… but…"

The girl stared at Cross, confused.

Just then, Allen's eyes opened wider. "NOOOOO! I won't let you do it, Cross! You cannot force this child to become your servant!"

"Er… Allen, is something wrong?" Asked Lenalee.

"I'm having… terrible… flashbacks… urgh." Allen fell to the floor.

"Hmmm…. Well if I can't keep her…" Cross continued. "I guess we'll just have to reunite her with her real brother!"

"You mean Deisya Barry over there?" Komui asked skeptically.

"Huh?" Lavi1 asked.

"You mean Deisya's her real brother?" Lavi2 asked.

"NO! That's a scawy monster! Brother, protect me from the scawy monster!" The girl shouted clinging to Cross.

The hooded figure let out a sob.

"Hello, Lavi-san. I didn't know you got seasick." Muramasa said happily.

"I don't… I just had to use the bathroom, that's all…" Lavi glared at the ocean. "I don't know why they wouldn't just let me ride the hammer to the island."

"The island is much too far off, even for the reach of your hammer." Muramasa replied. Lavi glared at him.

Just then, an Akuma attacked! Lavi pulled out his hammer and tried to fight it off, but he was too slow. The Akuma killed all of the passengers and crewmen except him and Muramasa. Just then, a pole fell of Lavi's head, injuring it severely.

Lavi struggled to stand as the Akuma came closer. Muramasa was laying on the deck farther down.

All of my friends… they trusted me to protect Lavi! But… but there's nothing I can do! The enemy's too strong for me… No, I'm too weak! Oh KOUGA!

The Akuma picked up Lavi and began to strangle him.

"I-I will SAVE YOU, LAVI!" Muramasa ran up to Lavi, grabbing him from the Akuma's grip and flying over the edge of the ship. The two plunged into the dark, rolling waves.

They soon found a lifeboat and clambered on, wet and exhausted. They sailed away from the boat, slowly sinking beneath the ocean's surface.

''~~~

Kira could hear voices all around him. Where was he? Why did everything hurt so much? He tried to move, but it only brought excruciating pain. He let his mind slip from consciousness.

He was sitting in the Seireitei, except the place had been completely destroyed. Where was everyone? His friends? It looked as if there had been some kind of flood…. A tsunami?

"Is anyone there?!" He shouted. "Please, anyone!!!"

There was no answer. He looked down into the water, and saw… a shadow? He reached down towards it. Suddenly it sprang up, grabbing his arm and pulling him under-

"AGH!" Kira shouted, sitting up quickly.

"Oh… Looks like your awake…" Hanataro murmured. "Well that's good."

Kira looked at him. Yeah, I gu-" He clutched his chest in pain and fell back.

"You haven't recovered yet! You have to stay still!" Hanataro ran up to him, shocked. "I'm surprised you were able to survive at all…"

"Blergh…" Kira decided to go back to sleep.

* * *

"Huh?" Hughes murmured, opening his eyes, but unable to see anything around him.

"You're awake..." He heard a voice say.

"AHG!" Hughes screamed jumping up, but losing his footing, and falling back to the ground.

The voice chuckled, "Huughhess-saannn, you destiny awaits"' It said.

Hughes knew he had recognized that voice, "L?" he asked.

"Maybe, maybe not. If I am L, let me be your friend. Your guide." The voice said. Suddenly knives of all shapes and sizes came slashing down from above. "Find your true knife, and this trial will be complete"

"Uhhh, okay..." Hughes looked around quizzically, and reached for the knives he had previously been holding. Ahhg! They're gone! He thought. I see what L's trying to do. There is only one true knife in here, all the others are an illusion. If only I could see through the illusion.....

elsewhere....

Allucard stared at the Akuma baby. Wait... How does that work? He wondered. The baby can't talk..... Maybe there's a special exception, and they just have to think it... Hmmmmm.... What happened to Ed? Oh... Yeah he was eaten..... Poor guy... I-

"Yo! Allucard! I need you help!" Maxwell, who was walking by shouted.

Allucard glared. "Can't an evil dark overlord at least get to finish their internal monologue for once!!?"

"oohhh, Sorry dude..." Maxwell said, "Hey, who is the kid?... Is it yours? I didn't realize that you'd go that low...."

"UHg! NOO! It's Anderson's!" Allucard said.

"..............................................WHA-!??"

_____

Lavi and Muramasa were ON A BOAT.

Muramasa glared at Lavi, "Can I ask you something?"

Lavi looked up in surprise, "Uhh... Sure...."

"Well.... I was wondering why YOU get to be in the main story line and the extras! I think it's unfair! I mean, come on! Three Lavi's in one fanfic! What's wrong with the writers of this story!!" Suddenly the section of the boat where Muramasa was standing began to burning, while sharks and giant jelly fish began to attack him.

"No! STOP!" Lavi shouted to the sky, and suddenly the flames and sea creature vanished. "I believe it's unfair to the other characters as well! Find a replacement for me... the me's at the Host Club!!"

Extras:

"Okay! Lets do this!" Cross shouted, throwing the little girl to the side. He pointed to a mysterious chalkboard that had just appeared, shouting. "Operation: Reunite Daisya Barry and Innocence-less little girl together once more!!"

Elsewhere...

Jasudero and Debitto stood staring evilly at Allen.

"S... So y-you're Lavis' replacement?" Allen whimpered.

"Yep......"

"YES YES.!!" They somehow said in unison. "Now lets play: Which One is Debitto!" Both putting on top-hats.

"Uhh.... The blonde one is Jasudero, and the Debitto is the Black haired one..?"

"Darn"

"Damn!!" They said...

* * *

"So… How do I know which one is the true one?" Hughes asked the voice.

"……………………………."

"Well???"

"…………………………………"

"Are you asleep or something, L? I thought you were supposed to be my guide…"

"…………………………… Oh sorry about that, Hughes-san. Something important just came up. Er… I need to go now. Good luck finding your knife!"

Hughes stood there for a second. "Wait… What!? You can't just leave! Why didn't you at least remove the illusion, or tell me how I'm supposed to find the real one!? You're a terrible person, L!"

There was no answer.

After an hour of storming around the cave he was in and cursing, he discovered that in the fake knives were thrown into a rock, they would evaporate. At least he hoped those were the fake ones. He began to pick up knives and throw them, watching as one by one they vanished. He diligently walked across the caves, clearing all the knives in sight. It took him five days to clear the knives… But when he turned around, there were knives that he had already destroyed! Had they re-formed or something? Maybe he had somehow missed the real one, and now it was still among all those fakes. What was he going to do?

Two weeks later…

Hughes dragged himself across the floor. He had had no food or water, and had found it impossible to sleep on the rocky floor. He had no choice but to continue to try and find his knife, for it was the only way he could get out of the cave. He threw another knife, watching as it vanished. He had seen it a thousand times. No, probably more than that. He felt like he had memorized every aspect of the cave and every knife's position. But what was that? A knife buried within the rock… He could have sworn he hadn't seen that knife before! That must be the one! He pulled at the knife, but it would not come out. He twisted and turned it. He tried prying it. And finally the knife came loose from the rock, sending Hughes across the room. But he had THE KNIFE! He rejoiced, danced a little, and then, to celebrate being able to get out of this hellish place, he threw the knife against the wall. It vanished.

The next day…

Hughes banged his head against the wall. There was no way to escape. He was in DESPAIR! He felt that he might as well die.

"Um… Excuse me. Hello? Is the cave cleared to send some new visitors in?"

Hughes's eyes widened. Is that… L? Hughes ran up to the source of the voice, shouting, "Please! Let me OUT OF HERE! I have to get out!" He pounded his fist against a wall.

"Eh? You're still HERE!? I thought you would have gotten out by now…! I mean, how in the world have you survived this long without getting out!?!? This must be a new record!!!"

"Huh?" What did the voice mean? He had tried every knife in the room… How WAS he supposed to escape…?

"You obviously don't get the point of the training, do you?! You must find the knife WITHIN YOURSELF!"

"The knife… within myself? But… But…!"

Maxwell sighed. "Okay… I really don't want to know…"

Alucard growled. "It's not like that, okay? You'd better not tell Gracia-sama about this or I'll-"

Maxwell waved a hand, dismissing the idea. He walked up to the akuma baby. "Heh… smile for me…"

The akuma baby did nothing.

Maxwell glared at it. "What a depressed child…"

Kira was wandering around in a desert someplace. Hanataro had told him he needed to hide out in the real world; he was regarded as a criminal in the Seireitei. Kira had escaped to here, but now what? He had to find Hughes… He had to tell him that he was a-

No… He couldn't… Not yet.

Kira decided to go into the bookstore he saw and ask for directions.

#########

Muramasa and Lavi were still ON A BOAT.

Lavi's stomach growled. "Ugh… I'm so hungry… We don't even have any fishing poles… How are we supposed to catch some food?"

"We could always try to make a net out of cloth…" Muramasa suggested.

"Nah… That sounds too hard… I guess we'll have to resort to cannibalism. I wonder, if you cut of a piece of a Zanpakutou's human form, will that affect its ability as a sword?" Lavi grinned evilly.

"Er… Let's not find out…"

_**Extras!!!**_

…And so began the noble tale of the Host Club's touching and gracious attempt to bring together two opposing family members.

"So… what are we going to do?" Asked Lenalee.

"Hmmmm… That's your job, Lenalee. Us other people will use our money and influence to get what we need."

"So you're saying that I have to come up with a plan for YOUR operation?" Lenalee glared at the other Host Club members.

"Well… It's better than Cross coming up with a plan…" Komui told her.

Kanda grunted in approval.

* * *

Kira walked into the book store, and looked at the old man standing near the entry way.

"GRANDPA!!" He said, and ran up glomping his grandfather.

His grandfather screamed, both his legs breaking under Kira's weight.

) )

( ) ( )

( /\/\/\/\ ) The next day! ( /\/\/\/\ )

Kira's grandfather sat in a wheelchair glaring at his grandson.

Kira glanced around nervously, "Uhh... Grandpa, why are we all the way out here in the desert?"

"Damn KIDS! You're just waitin' for me to die! Ain't ya?!" His grandfather shouted.

Kira forced a smile, "Uh, yeah. So where's Grandma?" He asked.

His grandfather picked at his ear, presumably unable to hear Kira's question. "EH?! Ya' know I saved the world TWICE!!?!"

"Really?" Kira said,

Suddenly he turned directly facing Kira, smiling, "HEheeeh" He chuckled and stood up.

"Hey... IZURU, It's been awhile hasn't it?" His grandfather said, "How well do you think your beloved grandfather will do without his SOUL?!? MUHAHAHAHA!!!"

Kira's eyes widened, "No... NOO!!! GRANDPA!!"

ehhe

Somewhere else....

Lavi and Muramasa where still.... ON A BOAT!!!

Lavi approached, Muramasa smiling holding a sharp knife.

"No!!!" Muramasa screamed. "Wait! I have a plan!!"

"Eh..?" Lavi said with a frown, "What is it?"

Muramasa grinned. "I read this book, and they said..." He removed one of his boots proudly, "...Leather are GOOD edibles!!"

Elsewhere:

Maxwell walked away somewhere else...

Allucard, with the baby decided to go to the Alcoholics Addiction Anonymous!

_ )) _

( /\ /\ )

( (____) ) ----- Replaces extras

And the epical Conclusion!!

"Find the knife within myself!?! But what does that mean???" Hughes shouted, but there was response. He sat on the floor and threw a couple of knives at the wall in frustration... He closed his eyes and began to concentrate, not knowing what he was truly searching for.

Suddenly, the air around him changed, growing cold. He looked up in surprise to see that he was no longer in the cave but a strange dim room with metal walls. In the center of the room there was a circular container with three neon brains.

"Hello Hughes-san! We've been awaiting you arrival..." Hughes thought the bright pink one said.

Hughes sighed with frustration. "Eh...? Another hallucination!?! I'll call that one Phil and the ugly one Fluff..."

"We are not a hallucination!! We are the CREATORS!!!" The Green one said.

"Eh.. Fluff?!? The creators?!?!" Hughes asked.

"Hey! I'm not ugly!!!?!?" The Green one said.

The pink one smiled smugly, (Yes.... This CAN happen) "Yes, Hughes-san. You could even see us as your parents!"

Hughes looked up in shock, "Noo.... NOO!!!!!! NOOOOOOOO!!!!" He said. "But HOW?!!? Why is this happening to MEEE!!?!?" He fell to his knees and began to sob. "W-what have I ever done to deserve this?!? I just want to live peacefully with my wife and daughter!! WHY ARE YOU PUTTING ME THROUGH THIS TORTURE!!!!???!?!?"

Suddenly a door appeared on the other side of the room, and in walked L, smiling. "Don't you get it by now Hughes-san?" L said. "You're our toy..."

* * *

"NOOOOOO!" Hughes, screamed, falling to his knees. "Why? WHY!??!?? Why have I survived this long? There are so many times where I should have died…! So why aren't I dead!?"

L sighed. "You don't understand, Hughes-san? Prepare is so confusing… No one was able to figure out how to survive…."

Hughes suddenly grinned. "No one… EXCEPT ME!"

Kira's grandfather grinned evilly, something no grandfather should ever do. "Hehehhe… Izu-chan, I have taken over your grandfather's body! NOW what will you do? HMMMM?"

Kira's eyes widened. "It that you… Captain…?"

The grandfather's grin widened. "Yer a smart one ain't ye, Izu-chan?" He then used ALCHEMY to create a sword from the sand. He lunged at Kira; Kira was able to parry with Wabisuke just in time. The grandfather took a step back. "If ye don't want to die… You'll hafta KILL your grandfather! BWAHHAHAHA!"

Lavi glared at Muramasa. "I'm not eating a boot. I'm eating YOU!"

Muramasa let out a whimper. "But…but… I thought we were FRIENDS! We've been through so MUCH together! I… I've been betrayed so many times… By people who I thought were kind… But NO! You all have to go and KILL ME! Why!? WHYYYYY!!!!???? YOU MEN ARE ALL THE SAME!"

Lavi blinked. "Listen, calm down, okay? I won't eat you…"

"NO! I don't want any more of this! I won't stand by and be abused any longer!!!"

"It was just a joke, Muramasa…" Lavi stepped forward, hoping to console Muramasa.

Just then, Muramasa turned on him furiously. He grabbed the knife out of Lavi's hand, lunging forward and stabbing him through the heart.

Lavi let out a small moan as he fell to the floor of the boat. Muramasa let out a small smile. "Now we'll see who's being eaten…" He began to tear chunks of flesh from Lavi's corpse, swallowing them hungrily. "Hehhhh…HEHEH…. You will all PAY for what you did to MEEE!!!!"

Meanwhile…

Shunsui sighed. It was his job to help out some new Squad 8 recruits.

It was a long story. One night when he had been out drinking, he had stumbled into a back alley. He met a vampire who said he was from Alcoholics Addiction Anonymous. Shusui figured that Alcoholics Addiction Anonymous was just another one of those programs for folks with drinking problems. He decided to make friendly conversation with the vampire. In fact, they were getting along quite well when a Zanpakuto suddenly flew out of nowhere, striking the vampire in the heart. The vampire crumbled to dust, as some new squad 8 recruits emerged from the shadows. When Shunsui asked why they had done that, and that the vampire had seemed like an awfully nice sorta fellow, one of them commented angrily that he would have died if it weren't for his recruits and that he should be grateful and help them break into Alcoholics Addiction Anonymous.

And that was why Shunsui was standing in front of Alcoholics Addiction Anonymous. He let out another sigh. Hopefully none of the recruits would be killed.

#####

exxxxxxtras

Meanwhile, Allen was wandering around.

"What's wrong, Allen?" Asked Lenalee.

"Lena-chan… I lost my sandal…."

"You just had it a few minutes ago…" Lenalee murmured.

"You mean this, beansprout?" Kanda, who was standing on the other side of the room, picked up a small sandal.

"You found it! Thank you, Yu-chan!" Allen ran up to Kanda happily. Kanda grunted in annoyance. Ever since Allen had joined the host club, he had become a whiny little brat who ate too much cake and addressed everyone as –chan.

Lenalee went over to Cross and Komui, who seemed to be doing nothing in particular. "So… how are we going to get Deisya and his sister back together?"

Cross, who had seemed so enthusiastic earlier, let out a grunt.

Komui shrugged and continued writing the names of all of his enemies into the black notebook he carried around.

Lenalee sighed.

Just then, the doors burst open. Everyone looked up to see Jasedebi stumble inside.

"Eh… we're here now…" They both said in unison. "What's the plan?"


	32. Chapter 32

Alucard, now returning from the AAA, walked up to Gracia with a bowed. "I must apologize Gracia-sama, we were unable to catch Maes Hughes, he escaped, but the rest of the opposing troops have been eliminated."

"Is that so?" Gracia paused for a moment looking strangely at him. "Then who might that be?" She pointed to the Akuma baby which now resided on Alucard's head pulling at his hair.

"Oh, actually she's dead...." He grinned evilly.

"Ugh.... You're sick!" She said.

Suddenly Elicia walked out from behind Gracia's throne to Alucard, "Here! Have some MILK!" she said handing him some sandwiches.

Muramasa, licked his lips, "Ahhhhh... What a nice meal."

He suddenly heard a voice that seemed to be calling from a far off land. "Come and get me!" It said.

"I'm RIGHT here!!! Come ON!! Or are you a coward!?! Face you fears, and come to MEEEE!" The world around Muramasa faded and he opened his eyes to see a standing Lavi screaming at the sky. "WIND COME ON!!! GET OVER HERE!!! OR I'll KILL YOU!! BWHAHAAHAHAHAHHA!!!"

Muramasa looked up at him in wonder… What a strange thing he was doing.....

"Soooo" Hughes grinned, "Weren't you going to kill me?"

L looked up in surprise, "Kill you!?! I never said I was going to KILL you!! I just want to have your screen time!! BWHAHAHAHA!!!"

"Eh? But I'm the main character! I deserve all the screen time I get! Actually, come to think of it, I hardly have any screen time at all! I remember the days when it was just my wonderful adventure! Where did all these random useless subplots come from!?!?!"

The Pink brain glared, "Those aren't useless subplots!!! They are very important!!... But you, Hughes, on the other hand could always be replaced...." It grinned, "How 'bout this, we'll play "Who Wants to Be in Jeopardy"!! whoever has the most points at the end, can be the main character. But the one who loses... DIES!! BWHAHA!!"

Kira looked at his processed Grandfather, in dismay, drawing out his sword. The smiled, "I've always wanted to do this!" He said tapping his grandpa's head with the sword.

His body folded over with the extra weight, and Gin's soul screamed. "HOW DARREEEE YOUUUU IZURU!!"

"You've made a mistake Captain, by trapping yourself in a useless body, you are powerless against me!!"

All of squad 8 was killed.......

"Jas-CHAN!!" Allen screamed, glomping the two of them.

Lavi looked down at Muramasa. "Hey, looks like you're awake, Mura-chan! Did you have a nice dream?" Lavi asked with a grin.

"I told you not to call me that…" Muramasa grumbled, before glaring at the screaming Lavi. "Wait…. Why aren't you DEAD!?"

"Dead? What are you talking about?" There was a hint of worry in Lavi's voice.

"That's right… You were going to EAT me, weren't you? And that's when I KILLED you…"

"Er… Are you alright, Mura-chan?"

"But it looks like you're still alive. Again I will make you PAAAAY!"

~~~~~3 Days Later~~~~~

"And now it's the moment you've all been waiting for, the season finale of 'Who Wants to be in Jeopardy?'. And for today's contestants, more than just lives are on the line. In fact, these two opponents are competing for stardom in the well-known fanfiction 'Prepare!'. Ladies and gentlemen, I bring you tonight the two lucky contestants. Everyone give it up for L!"

The sound of cheering erupted as a spotlight shone on L, sitting in his usual position. He munched on a cupcake, sending crumbs flying everywhere.

"L here is competing for position of main character with the current main character of Prepare!, the infamous Maes Hughes!"

Hughes squinted as a spotlight shined in his face. The roar of the audience surrounded him. He began to sweat… What if he lost? Then what? He would DIE. And not only that, but that evil, traitorous L would become the new main character. How could this BE?

"For all those new to this, I shall quickly explain the rules. Contestants will be made to answer a series of questions. Whoever gets the answer first gets the points. The person that can reach one million points first is the winner, and becomes the main character. The person that loses… DIES!"

There was a dramatic gasp from the audience.

"So stay tuned for… WHO WANTS TO BE IN JEOPARDY? QQQ!"

The lights dimmed and the announcer relaxed.

A shout from the back: "We're going back to the show in 15 seconds!"

The lights flared back on.

"And now we're back, ladies and gentlemen! Let's begin tonight with a quick question-answer session."

Q: What is the first word in the fanfiction 'Prepare!'?

Hughes blinked. "Uh….."

L squinted off into the distance. "Of all people, you should know, Hughes-sa-"

"CORRECT! The right answer is 'Hughes'."

Hughes glared at L. "Now that's not really fair, now is it?"

Hughes was ignored.

Q: What is the blood type of Near?

Hughes grunted. "Ha, everyone knows THAT. It's obviously O!"

L shook his head. "Wrong again, Hughes-san. It's B!"

"CORRECT! The right answer is 'B'."

Hughes let out a sigh. He had to try harder if he would be able to maintain his status as main character…

Meanwhile, Gracia, Alucard, Kira, and everyone in the AAA watched in amazement as Hughes and L vied for position as main character.

"Why wasn't I invited? HMMMMM?" Gin's soul asked.

30 minutes later…

"And now we return to Who Wants to be in Jeopardy! And it looks like the winner is L, with an astounding world record of 2,987,264-0! Congratulations, L! Looks like you are going to be the new main character."

Hughes was staring into space in shocked disbelief. He had LOST. Not only that, but he had gotten 0 POINTS. But… how? HOW!?

Two tough-looking security guards came up to him. One of them gave him a sympathetic look. "Too bad you didn't stand a chance against that L guy… Looks like you're going to be another sacrifice…"

"S-sacrifice?" Hughes looked up. "Whaddya mean?"

The _other one_ spoke up. "What, you don't know? The loser of this show gets sacrificed to MTHM."

"MTHM? What's-"

"Listen, there's no time for explanations now. Let's go."

The men escorted Hughes to an old, run-down house.

"We brought another one…" One of the guards called. He opened the door gingerly, shoving Hughes inside. Hughes gulped as he saw something metallic and sharp looking glint.

"Oh good…" A voice came from the darkness. Hughes blinked. The voice seemed oddly… _familiar…_

And now it's time for…

MTHM! (Muramasa the Homicidal Maniac)

Muramasa grinned evilly. "I'm glad I made that agreement with that 'Who Wants to be in Jeopardy?' group. It really helps me keep the wall wet…"

"Eh? Is that YOU, Muramasa!? You have to let me GO! I'm your friend, remember!? I'm HUUUGHES!"

Hughes looked down. "Wait… is that Lavi's headband…?" Hughes began to sweat. "Please…. Don't kill me…"

Muramasa continued to grin, his eyes wide. "HEHEHE! You shall be my next victim!!!"

A floating bunny head went up to Muramasa. "You shouldn't kill someone with glasses…"

[EXtrAS]

All of the characters stood in silence. What were they going to do? No one had a plan…

Just then, the ground began to shake. They heard a high-pitched cackle as a powerful motor propelled a platform into the air. Atop the platform stood the Millennium Earl, laughing maniacally and sporting a particularly flamboyant hat.

"Er…" Started Cross. "I thought you went back to Edo…"

"Nah, I decided that you needed me here a lot more…" The Millennium Earl replied. "If you need to get these two siblings back together, I know just the thing!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ L sat down. Now that Light was away, he could do whatever he wanted. And he had something special in mind.

He idly picked his nose for a few minutes then finally realized he couldn't wait any longer. He slowly pulled his gun out of its holster and crept to the door.

At that moment, Misa walked out of the door. "Did you set it?" L whispered. Misa merely nodded.

L then started uncontrollably laughing and soon was rolling around the floor hysterically. Misa grunted with disgust but was used to it by now. L looked up with shock surprise, Did Misa just grunt? He stood up and looked at her in wonder, "Amane-san, did you just grunt?"

She glared at him, "Misa Misa wants Light-kun!!!" She pouted and stomped off the stage.

L smiled and took out a lollipop *Near Style*, and began nomming it. This was boring, how can Hughes-san stand it all? He thought. I hope he isn't really going to be killed....

"I can kill whoever I want!!!!" Muramasa screamed lunging at Hughes with a Butcher knife with all his force.

Hughes narrowly dodged, stumbling to the side and crashing into the wall. His vision blurred, as he heard footsteps approach him, "Muu-Muramasa....." He tried to say, but felt the blade cut through the air to hit him. He heard a thunk and looked up, to realize that he rolled over just in time, and Muramasa's knife had cut though the floor where he once lay.

Hughes stumbled to his feet, and slowly backed away, searching with a small hope to find his throwing knives, somewhere. He felt tears stream down his eyes as his back hit the wall, and Muramasa approached, knife in hand.

"Hmmmm?" Muramasa stopped, "Why is water coming out of your eyes?"

Hughes looked at him with confusion, "Because I'm sad..."

"Eh?...... I know what sadness feels like" he said looking down."I've been betrayed so many times... By my closest friends, and even by the only family I had ever had...."

Hughes looked at him sympathetically, "Well, we can always be friends! We should accept our differences and move on!" he smiled.

"Y-You think so!?!" Muramasa's eyes widened , and he glomped Hughes with joy. "Thank you so much!!!"

Hughes smirked, pulling the last knife he had concealed, out of his pocket, and with one quick movement thrusted it into Muramasa's heart. "No living person should hurt so badly by those around him.... I'm doing you a favor... So you no longer have to suffer as you have had to...."

Muramasa's eyes bulged, and blood dripped from his mouth. "W-w-whyy?" He barely was able to say.

Hughes smiled at this as if it were a joke, "So you could die as you have lived." He said, and walked off into the distance.

~~~~ (Hughes-san turns EVIL)

All of those watching the competition, afterwards decided to all go and party at a local bar. After all of them were sufficiently drunk, they sang and danced, and eventually all passed out except..... DUN DUH!!

A few rooms down from the Host Club, sat Lulubell, with the Akuma by her side.

"BWHAHAHAHA!!!" Lulubell laughed. "I'll make the Newspaper Club RISE AGAIN!!!"


	33. Chapter 33

L began to fidget. He really hoped Hughes-san wasn't dead. He had made life so much more _interesting_. L began to pace nervously. It's so DULL being the main character… Side characters get so much more PERSONALITY… I'm so BORED… L bit into an apple that had conveniently appeared. This world… IS ROTTEN!

Hughes's eyes sparkled. "Hah! HAHAHA! You gullible fools, you honestly thought you were ever my FRIENDS! I was just using you!" He shouted to no one in particular. "I'll let L stay as the main character… I never wanted the position anyway. Instead I'll operate behind the shadows, pulling the strings, until I get what I want! HAHHAHA! Just TRY to kill me! I'll KILL ALL OF YOU! This world… IS ROTTEN!"

L felt like someone had just stolen his line. He shook his head. It was probably nothing. With a sigh, he got up, and decided to find Hughes-san… If he was still alive, that it… He thought for a moment. Hughes-san had to be alive. There was no way he had maintained main character status for so long without having to escape from life-threatening situations… No, there was no way Hughes-san could be dead. With new determination L set off, shouting, "I'll FIND YOU, HUGHES-SAN! I am JUSTICE!"

%*%**%*%*%*%*%*%*%**%

_After all of them were sufficiently drunk, they sang and danced, and eventually all passed out except…._

RAYE PENBER! He secretly watched them from the shadows, seeing as they fainted one by one. He was supposed to be tailing a Kira suspect… Well someone who called himself Kira. In fact, he had been doing for the whole series. It was very exhausting work.

Kira had passed our just from walking into a bar. Raye wasn't surprised.

()()()()()()()()()

Gin was still sitting in the desert, feeling very heavy. Kira hadn't bothered to take his to the party.

Ed walked up to him morosely. "Our lives are so tragic…"

###############

Lulubell walked into the Host Club, akuma following behind her.

Cross looked up as she entered, shouting "STRIKE!"

Lulubell glared at him. "I am part of the Newspaper Club, and I wanted to do interviews on the host club members."

Komui pushed Cross out of the way. "I'm afraid everything in the Host Club is classified. We can't have you putting it in the school newspaper."

"But we must help this BEAUTIFUL WOMAN!" Shouted Cross.

"We have a Newspaper Club at the Black Order?" Muttered Allen.

Later...

Ed and Kira sat across from Gin.

Gin smiled, "So how was the party last night lads?

"Good... Kira mumbled

Ed grunted.

"Hm... Did either of you happen to know I wasn't invited?"

Ed shook his head,

Kira looked around nervously.

"Izu-chan? So you did know I wasn't invited?" Gin took out a piece of paper and began to fold the corners obsessively.

A SPECIAL: L: GOLDEN!

L walked over to Light. "Hey Light-kun..." He mumbled and sat down next to him.

"Hello Ryuzaki!"

L glared. "I thought we were past that Light-kun!... I mean... You should feel comfortable calling me by my real name: 'L'..."

Raye Penber sat on a train looking sadly out of the window. He had lost his last case because the so called 'Kira' mysteriously vanished after the party. He now was assigned to finding a mass murder who went by the name of 'L'. He was last seen near Gracia's Castle, so he was heading there in hope of finding a lead. He turned to the person sitting next to him hoping to make conversation, and immediately recognized him; "Hey you're that guy who lost on that show!" He exclaimed

Hughes turned with bulging eyes.

"Oh... Sorry. That was inappropriate of me... Hello. My name is Raye Penber. Nice to meet you!"

Cross shot Komui with JUDGMENT, and he went flying across the room. Cross smiled at Lulubell; "What my friend meant to say is that we would be glad to take you up on that offer! Write our souls out into that newspaper! BWAHAHAHH!"

"So…" Raye Penber turned to face Hughes. "Why are you going this way, anyway…?"

Hughes's eyes narrowed. "I have to find L."

He had to find L! So I was right, L IS going to be here. Maybe if I just follow his around for a bit…

"Oh, really? What a coincidence. So am I!" Wait, should I have said that…? I just blew my cover… Of course if I hadn't said that, this guy would have thought I was a stalker or something.

Hughes looked up, but not at Raye. Instead he seemed to be staring past him, into the empty compartment next to them.

Hughes stood, his eyes widening. "What are you doing here! I told you to leave me ALONE! AGH!" The train came to a stop.

"Um… Are you okay…?" Raye looked at Hughes concernedly.

Hughes ignored him, storming out of the train.

Raye wondered what he had done wrong. Maybe he should have paid for the whole train ride.

Meanwhile, L decided he would try to find Hughes-san at Gracia's Castle. He knew that Hughes-san would try to find Gracia eventually, and that would definitely be the place he would go.

L now sat in the dungeon of the castle. He smiled as the door opened; Hughes stuck his head through the door and looked around.

Wait a sec… Where am I…? How did I get down here…? He looked up and saw L, sitting calmly and smiling smugly. Hughes's expression darkened. "It's YOU."

L continued to sit. "For your own safety, I'd recommend that you stay where you are."

Hughes ignored him and began to walk towards L slowly. "You-You tried to KILL me! You lied to me, you disgraced me, I might never have seen my friends AGAIN because of you!"

"I wasn't really going to kill you, Hughes-san. Any appearance of danger was merely a device in order to enhance your testing experience."

Hughes seemed to grow angrier. "You were just USING ME FOR YOUR SICK EXPERIMENTS!"

As Hughes continued to approach, L looked at the ground. "I was even going to have a party in your favor. It was going to have CAKE. I was going to invite all of your friends! Atsuko Kohaku, Ginko-san, Tenma-san, Muramasa…"

Hughes paused. L continued with the list of names for the next twenty minutes.

"And the Shinigami you killed in your reign as Kira, but you already killed them all."

Hughes glowered. "Then killing you won't make much difference, will it?"

"Very well, Hughes-san. You have continued to defy me. For that, you will DIE."

Just then, five-hundred turrets came out of the ground. Hughes's eyes widened with terror at the resonating chorus of "I SEE YOU…" He felt a bead of sweat slide down his face as the red laser sights all targeted on him, and then…

Gin looked up. "Oh, I f'rgot to call attendance. Izu-chan?"

"Here."

"Edward?"

"…"

"Well?"

"Well obviously I'm here." Ed grumbled.

Gin glared at him.

Komui made a miraculous recovery, getting back to his feet in the very next scene. "Fine, we'll cooperate with you. But if you even TRY to undermine the Host Club, we WILL kill you."

Gin looked up, smiling, "Hey you two, I'm going to go see a movie!..."

"zzzzzzZZZZZz" Said Ed

Izu yawned, "What's it called?"'

"Garden Gnome: The Drama!"

"Hmmmm... I really don't like dramas..." ...0o...

L with one swift movement took out a Death Note *Near style* He looked up, ready to write Hughes' name down, but with horror, realized that he too had a Death Note in his hands!

"Oh... We even have the same power?" L said with sadness... "This is truly fate that we met."

Hughes glared, "Well, you are at a disadvantage L! Your name having two less letters than MINE!" And he began scribbling furiously in his notebook.

"NOOOO! Hughes-SANNNNNN" Was all that he could say, as he fell to the ground, Dead.

Hughes smiled. "hehe... HEHEHEh... HAHAHAH!" He began dancing around L's dead body, singing with all his heart.

But suddenly L's are shot out from under him, grabbing Hughes' leg. "You've just destroyed my ethic/morals chip! Now you must DIE!" He sat up with eyes glowing red, pulling out a lasor pistol *Near style*, aiming it for Hughes' head.

"Nooo! NOOOO!" PLEASE L DON'T!"

"It's too late now Hughes-san! You've have enjoyed the spotlight for far too long! now it's MY TURN! Time to DIE!"

"HEEELPPP!"

L suddenly looked angry, "You think someone is going to help YOU! YOU'RE JUST A PATHETIC WEAKLING! HELL! THIS IS THE ONLY DAMN bleach/fma FAN-FIC WITH YOU AS THE MAIN CHARACTER!... And why exactly am I HERE?" He smiled, "Well I can end it all here can't I? Just, ya'know END IT! This nonsense has gone long enough! I mean, what is this scene even a reference from? I bet even the WRITERS DON'T KNOW!"

Hughes stared with a look of shock, "They don't even know... But.. NOO!"

"BUT YES! NOW DIEEEE!" But suddenly, the Lasor pistol began to smoke, "Noooo... NOO! MY PLANS ARE RUI-!" And at that, it exploded.

The force sent Hughes flying back, and light surrounded him. L, stood in front of him, somehow unharmed. Suddenly he began to shrink appearing to grow younger, and the turned around running into the distance, where a giant cake stood. Hughes smiled, He has finally gotten his dream fulfilled, he thought as the world around him faded away.

He once again sat in that room, with no sign of L, or the Death Notes. He suddenly noticed a tracking device attached to his coat that had been there the whole time and grinned.

A week later...

Hughes looked at Raye happily. "You were there with me that whole time!"

Raye began sweating. Had he found out about the tracking device?. Now he really must think I'm some creepy stalker...

"You were there with mee... SUPPORTING MEE!" Hughes' eyes began to glow red. "YOU FOUND MY SECRET!" He took out a baseball bat, and whacked Raye hard, and as he had hoped, Raye fell to the ground unconscious. .

NO EXTRAS...

Hughes sat in the room in silence. He picked up his phone and dialed a number.

"Hello. Yes. I- I think I killed someone."

He put down the phone and stood, and after 3 minutes he began to eat a bowl of ramen with HAM. He heard the door open, but did not turn around. He already knew who had arrived.

Hughes remained silent as Kira surveyed the room with great anxiety. "Uh… Hughes-san? Who is this?" Kira pointed to the body of Raye Penber, who was still unconscious.

Hughes remained emotionless. "It's not him I was worried about."

"Uh… But…is he… is he dead? Did… did you kill him? I… I have to tell someone…" Kira became increasingly flustered. "I never… I never thought…"

Hughes glared at him. "What are you doing? You're supposed to take care of this! You're supposed to tell me it's all going to be alright! Why are you acting so _different_!"

Kira stared. "Um… what do you mean?"

Ed interrupted him, walking into the room and brushing his blond hair out of his eyes. "It's because he's not the real Kira. The real Kira is still out there… somewhere… You must go FIND HIM!"

Hughes's eyes widened. "I… I see…" He walked out of the room in a daze.

A few moments later Gin entered the room. "Wha' was that all about?"

Hughes wandered through the hallways, wondering what he should do now. He heard an angry shout and looked up, to see a guard approaching him.

"Hey… Do you have a worker's permit? You can't be in the castle without a worker's permit…"

Hughes gulped. He had had a worker's permit to get into the castle…. But where was it now? He must have left it back in the room…! "I… I don't..."

Hughes was quickly seized by the guard. "Well what do you think you're doing here then?

"I- I need-"

The guard glared at him. "Don't ever THINK about returning to this castle, and forget you ever saw me. The next time that you remember me and return here… I will kill you. Understood?" With that the guard grabbed Hughes and threw him out of the front gate. As a parting remark, the guard called out, "And THAT'S what you get for trying to sneak into Gracia's Castle…!"

"G-Gracia's Castle!" Hughes's eyes widened. "Wait! WAIT!" Hughes ran up to the now-closed gate and began to pound on it. "LET ME IN! LET ME IN NOW! MY- MY WIFE AND DAUGHTER ARE IN THERE! DAMN IT, LET ME INSIDE!" Hughes continued his efforts against the gate, but soon realized it was futile. Exhausted and depressed he went off to sit in the street somewhere.

He gritted his teeth. _My wife… and Elisia… I will come in there! I will find you!_

"Hey, Beggar-chan, you wanna get in that building?"

Hughes felt a shadow pass over him and looked up to see a man with black hair, smiling evilly.

"If you do... then follow me… TO YOUR DEATH! Hehehheh…"

Hughes's eyes were wide with surprise. "You know about… THAT PLACE!" Hughes stood and ran at the black-haired man, but he dodged swiftly and in an instant had a black-hilted blade drawn.

The man smiled, tilting his head to one side. "I hate it when men touch me…"

Hughes stood there, not sure how to react.

"Uh, anyway…" The man continued, "You need to get in that building and so do I! So why don't you come with me? I'll let you in on an awesome plan. By the way, Beggar-chan…" The man turned his head to look back at Hughes. "My name's Orihara Izaya. Nice to meetcha."

Ed, Gin and Kira stood in the room, wondering what to do about Raye. They looked up to the sound of a guard entering the room. He raised his eyebrows.

"Uh, who are you all? Do you have worker's permits?"

Ed began to sweat. "Well of course we do! Ichimaru here takes care of all that stuff…" He chuckled nervously, looking at Gin in hopes of finding reassurance.

Gin looked from side to side. "Hold on a moment, we need to have an emergency KEG (Kira Ed Gin) meeting!"

Gin quickly took attendance, and then turned to face Kira and Ed.

Kira began. "You DO have our worker's permit, right? I mean you ARE our manager, after all…"

Gin frowned, looking nervous. "I never bothered to get them… I mean, you guys have never even gotten a real job, so you haven't needed one until now…"

Far above, someone watched all of this unfolding. The person chuckled. All of the pieces were falling into place. There were now three distinct groups: The KEG, Hughes-san working with Izaya, and Gracia and her followers. Now all that was left was to unleash the war between these groups, the likes of which would have never been seen before in any universe before now…

But this person left one essential thing out of their calculations. A small group, almost disregarded by the rest of society. This group was usually content to ignore and be ignored, and figured that was the way it would always be. Of course sometimes one of the members of this group goes off on an adventure or quest of some kind, trying their hardest to make it into plotline. And that was exactly what this person, watching over the soon-to-be battlefield was least expecting. The most crucial part of the plan, the Heart of Innocence, fell into the hands of a small and unsuspecting Extras Character, named Allen Walker.

The arrival of the Heart disrupted the peace that the Host Club had strived so hard to maintain. But even so, there was no denying its existence.

Komui came to Allen one day.

"ALLEN! IS IT SECRET! IS IT SAFE!"

"Um… you mean the Heart…?"

Komui rolled his eyes.

"Um… yeah… I still have it with me." Allen sighed. "Ever since I got this thing, people have been treating me like I'm some kind of monster or something… You know what I mean, right, Komui?"

"DON'T… TOUCH ME, ALLEN!" Komui blinked. "No, I don't really know what you mean… I've been treating just like I normally do… Anyway, Lulubell and her Newspaper Club are already after the Heart! It won't be long 'tll they find this place…! I'm afraid you must GO!"

A few days later Allen met up with some others at the Asian Branch.

"I WILL TAKE THE HEART TO RODROM!" Allen declared.

Komui smiled.

Kanda glared at the ground angrily. He began to mutter, "You h- have my… sw…" He stood in anger. "Never mind, I'm not doing this!" He stormed out of the room.

"AND MY HAMMER!" Shouted Lavi joyfully.

"AND MYYYY YAMI-BOOTS!" Said Lenalee in a deep, booming voice.

NTTA: Shizzy wants a HOT JOB…!


	34. Chapter 34

Hughes, and the man calling himself Izaya sat in a small cramped apartment room, with no windows and door in sight. "Ahg! How did I get here!" Hughes yelled looking around franticly.

"Trivial things shouldn't worry you, Beggar-chan! All you should be worrying about is getting back you family..."

"BLLLEAAHHHHGG.."

"I thought you had a stronger stomach than that Heheh..."

"Ahhg! My Clothes!"

"EheheeheEH! That's my price..."

~A few hours later~

Hughes and Izaya, sat across from each other. Now properly clothed.

Hughes sighed frustration, trying to forget what had just happened. "So... Izaya. How do you plan on getting my family back?"

"Well, It's quite simple, Beggar-chan. But the first..." He smiled, presenting a large piece of paper, with several badly drawn people on it. "We have to get all these people, for our job to be successful!"

'I drew them by hannndd!' Winry said in the background.

"EH? But that could take MONTHS! I NEED TO RESCUE MY FAMILY MY NOOWW!" Hughes yelled.

Izaya sighed, "Calm down Beggar-chan. This is the only way you'll be able to see you family again. Unless you work with us, then there is no chance of that happening." He smiled, "Of course you can always charge into that building alone. But that would be suicide. Al least if you didn't have a Worker's permit..."

"But... I do ha-!"

"No, No... Beggar-chan. You're working with us...Now! To our first plan of action!" Izaya dramatically stood up, "I'd like to get the hardest on this group first. The one least likely to join us! She's known as the Headless rider, and Urban legend of sorts. Because of some previous job she has done for me, we aren't currently on the bestest terms with one another. In fact, recently she has refused to do any sort of work at all for me..."

"Then how..."

"I have in possession, the only thing that will ensure that she joins us!" He took out a large jar from under his chair with something floating inside it.

"Are you sure that will be enough?"

Izaya glared. "Yes, I'm sure."

Hughes and Izaya walked to...

"Yo" Izaya waved to a figure, presumably the headless rider, "Long time, no see. Eh Celty?."

Celty quickly took out her phone, typing; 'Go away. I'm not going to work for you under any circumstances.'

"Ahhhh, Come on..." Izaya, sat down and began to drink tea. "You shouldn't be so harsh with the only person who knows who you really are, SETTON-SAN!"

"You this it's just luck that you survived this long!" Celty typed, pulling out her scythe. "It all ends here and NOW!"

"WAIT!" Hughes yelled with frustration. He turned to Celty, "I know this doesn't really matter to you, but I might really lose my life because of this. Still, if it was just for that reason, I wouldn't be asking for anybody's help... But... My family might die because of this. That is why I'm asking for your help. I'll do anything after this job to repay your kindness..."

Celty paused, clenching her fists with frustration. "DAMN!' She typed. (Ed. Note: This was in English) "Fine, I'll work for you..."

JOIN UP: Headless Rider, Celty

"Hehe... That was easier than I expected..."

"hmmm..."

Izaya smiled, "Great job back there Beggar-chan... I guess I'll keep this for a bit longer,..." He put the jar away *Near Style*..." Now, Back to business! The second person we need is an easy one. I would go myself, but it may shorten my remaining life-span, so Beggar-chan should go alone... He's known as the Blonde Monster!... Actually, that's a lie. He's Heiwajima Shizuo. All you have to do is, say; 'Shiiiiizzzuuuu-CHHAAN!... Izaya-sama has a hot job waiting for you!' Then kick the guy next to him, and run for your life." Izaya smiled, "Think you can do that?"

EXTRAS...

"Let me also help in your quest" Suman said.

eheh... Whose going to get killled?

...

Now our anyone reading this now...

A VERY SPECIAL WELCOME TO ED AND KIRA!

The will be sing there new song; Shinigami Vs. Alchemist:

I'm the mother flippin' Shinigami!

have a Zanpaktou on my back, Killin' Hollows with attacks

And I'm Fighin'

'He's fightin' '

If you choose to believe, than do not grieve

Cause' I'll hit ya' With my Sword, and Send ya to Soul Socie-ty

I'm not just strong, I'm drawn.

Animated.

I was trained by a captain

And with episodes related.

That were blocked or deleted.

That's how it goes,

heres the Full-Metal Al-chemist

The small, shrimp, Al-Chemist.

They call me the- the

Full-Metal AL-Chemist,

I'm the FMA protagonist...

hmmm...

...

Ah, Other fighter's DISS ME.

Say my hair is sissy!

Why? Why? Why?

What?

Why exactly?

What? Why?

Be more constructive with your feedback PLEASE.

Why?

Why? Cause I prefer my hair long, not short and spiky

Like, Ichigo's, Black Star's, or Kunisaki's?

There ain't no hair like Kunisaki's!

Hey! HO!

I'm the motherflippin'  
I'm the motherflippin'  
I'm the motherflippin'

Who's the motherflippin?

I'm the motherflippin'  
I'm the motherflippin'  
I'm the motherflippin'  
Motherflippin'

*Applause*

First off…

Celty's DRAMATIC BACK-STORY…!

It all started when Celty opened the door one day. She could see... in a figurative sense… a brown-haired figure in front of her. He had glasses and a pleading expression on his face.

"Ceeeeelty… Saaave meeee…."

Celty tapped a message on her phone. "I'm a deliverer, not a baby-sitter. Go away." Annoyed, she began to close the door.

"Wait! I need your help, Ceeeelty! I heard you were truly the Headless Rider…! That means you can saaaave me!"

Celty began to panic. She grabbed the figure and hauled his inside, pinning him to the wall. She quickly typed up her thoughts. "Who are you? A news reporter? Or here to finish me off?"

"It's nothing like that… Just save me, okay?"

Celty threw him out of her house and hoped she would never see him again. Unfortunately the figure had begun to follow her around, begging for help whenever she saw him. She began to get more and more irritated by this, wondering if it was okay to kill the stalker off.

One day she had just been on a particularly rough mission. Her informant hadn't told her about the danger and she had gone in unprepared. Now she stumbled off of her motorbike and attempted to make her way home. She had almost reached it when everything became a blur, and then went black.

When Celty woke up she was in bed. And the brown-haired figure was at her side. She laid there for a moment in shock, before grabbing her phone and typing "TODAY I WILL KILL YOU!"

Tears welled up in the brown-haired figure's eyes. "I- I just want you to save meee, Celty…"

Just then, the door opened and in stepped Izaya.

"Hellooo, Celty-chan… Just stopping by for a-" He paused as he took in the situation in front of him. He then let out a maniacal laugh.

Celty furiously typed "It's not what you think!"

The brown-haired figure let out a moan. "Saaave me…."

Izaya snorted. "You haven't even heard what this guy's got to say. Why don't we hear him out, eh?"

A few minutes later they all sat around a small table and the brown-haired figure began his tale.

"M-my name's Shinra, and I- someone's after my life. I got a letter from someone calling themselves 'Lime'… Lime said he was going to kill me! He said he would at my medical conference in a few weeks… I'm so scared… I want Celty to save meee! She can protect me from Lime!"

"No way. Ever." Celty typed.

"Now, let's think this over a moment, shall we?" Izaya smiled innocently. "This sounds like the perfect job for you! It's not like you're doing much for anyone else… Your new job is to make sure Shinra is 'delivered' to his medical conference in one piece! Good luck…!" Izaya smirked, quickly leaving and shutting the door before Celty could protest.

[The flashback continues in the next Prepare!]

Meanwhile…

Hughes saw Shizuo walking through the streets. At least he fit the description. Hughes tentatively approached him.

"Um… Excuse me?"

Shizuo turned on Hughes angrily. "Huh? What do you want, Beggar-san?" (Yes, he's polite)

"Um… Um…" Hughes began to sweat. Squeezing his eyes shut, he gritted his teeth. _I have to do it… For my wife and Elicia… _

"SHIIIIIZZZUUUU-CHHAAN!... IZAYA-SAMA HAS A HOT JOB WAITING FOR YOU!" Hughes then kicked the figure standing next to Shizuo, who winced in pain and rubbed his shin where he had been kicked.

"What did you do that for!" Tom shouted angrily. "Shizuo, aren't you supposed to be my bodyguard?"

But Shizuo ignored him. He was staring at Hughes intently. "YOU KNOW WHERE IZAAAAYA-KUN IS?"

"Um… yes?" Hughes trembled.

"And you'll lead me there!"

"Yes…! But only if you help me with this job!"

"OKAY! I ACCEPT!"

"But…!" Tom began, but Hughes and Shizuo were already far away.

The KEG team finished up their meeting hurriedly. It was decided that they'd just have to take out the guard by force. It was just then that Raye Penber woke up.

"Geh… eh… AHHHH… Things aren't all bad, ya know…! But when things are bad ya know what to do, right!"

The four others stared at him. "Um, what?" Kira asked.

"I'm so glad you asked…

Let's build a snowman!

We can make him our best friend.

We can name him Tom or we can name him George!

We can make him tall, or we can make him not so tall.

Snowman!

He'll have a happy face, a happy smile, a happy point of view.

If you build me a snowman, then I'll build one for you!"

Gin put Raye out of his misery. They all commenced om-nomming on Raye's bones.

EXTRAAAAS…

One day Kanda stood, staring off into the distance. He was just reflecting upon how angry he was about having to go on a stupid mission with an idiotic beansprout. Komui and claimed it was an order from Central, but Kanda knew that he had just wanted to watch him suffer. Kanda grimaced. Just then he felt a rough hand grab his shoulder and he spun around, hand reaching for Mugen's hilt. He realized that it was just Lenalee.

"KANDA!" She shouted in a gruff voice. "Let's find some FOOD!"

Celty turned to Shinra, typing, "How exactly did you know about me?"

"That girl... The one who always comes around here. You know. Glasses. Raira uniform... And HUGE-!"

"Yes! I know who your talking about! You. PEOPLE. DON'T HAVE TO KEEP ON SAYING THAT!..." She typed furiously. "Now go to the corner for timeout!"

"TIMEOUT!"

"It helps you cool off."

"Fine..." Shinra mumbled and sulked in the corner.

You're noisy! Celty sighed and walked outside. This should all end now... I'm a deliverer! What does Izaya think he's doing? Suddenly she felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned furious to see a grinning Shinra holding two cups of tea.

"I CAN'T DRINK TEA!" She typed and knocked the tea away savagely. Then turned away prepared to leave.

"WAIT!" Shinra screamed grabbing her arm. "YOU BADDIE! You have no right to do this! CLEAN UP THIS TEA NOW!"

"EH? Why is he still here Celty-san!" Said a voice making both their heads turn to see... Glasses... Raira Uniform. and HUGE-!

Celty punched Shinra and walked up to Sonohara, "What are you doing here Anri-chan?' She typed.

Ignoring what Celty said, Anri turned to Shinra, "ARE YOU TWO A COUPLE? YOU'RE EVIL! AND WHEN I WAKE UP I'M ALWAYS NEXT TO A GARBAGE DUMP!'

"Wait! What are you talking about Anri-chan?" Celty typed

Sonohara paused for a moment... "I don't know... But anyways... I want you to teach me more about fighting! I want to be as strong as you Celty-san!"

"Hmmmm... Haven't I told you that you don't need any more fighting experience than you have..."

"But Celty-san! That isn't enough!"

Shinra stood up still dizzy from the punch. "We're a MARRIED COUP-... Oh I'm too late... Bleerrggg..."

'So we all began to live together!' Celty typed, with the KEG sitting around her.

"Who's this Anri person! I thought She'd just be a one-shot!" Ed shouted angrily.

"Ah! Kira is folding his blankets at top speed! Maybe he's planning on listening now..." Gin said.

...

Shizou, glared at Hughes, with murderous intent. "You said he'd be here Beggar-san...'

Hughes looked around the empty apartment building fear growing inside him... "Umm... He said he'd be here..."

"IIIIZZZAAAYYYAAAAA-KUUUNNN! WHERE ARE YOU?" Shizou yelled and began to tear the apartment room apart.

...

Elsewhere

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY BROTHER!" Namie yelled

Izaya, standing a safe distance away smiled, "Ohh, Ehehe... Nothing really..."

"I-I'll CALL THE POLICE!"

"A ... Um Human experimenter calling the police? Don't make me laugh!"

"F-fine! What do you want!"

"Oh... A small favor... If you don't like it, let's watch some Seiji BURN!"

Hughes curled up in a corner, petrified with fright as Shizuo proceeded to tear the small building apart. Hughes ducked as a lamp flew at his head, letting out a small whimper (Hughes whimpered, not the lamp). Just when he was sure that the building would collapse and he would die, he heard a loud whisper.

"Beggar-chaaaannnn… over HERE!"

Hughes looked up to see Izaya stick his head tentatively out of an air vent. "C'mon THIS WAY, Beggar-chan! If you don't want to die, that is."

Hughes quickly scrambled into the air vent after Izaya. He got his breathing under control, and was grateful when the vent opened up into a larger room.

Izaya smiled. "Now that we're all alone, Beggar-chan… Time to get you UNDRESSED!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~?

Kida sat in the stuffy room, staring intently at the cup with two dice beneath it. The cup was lifted and Kida grinned broadly. "Looks like I win again!"

Being the head of a gang had its perks. Getting into the better gambling houses was one of them. Kida smiled, taking the heavy sack of money he had just earned. "'Bout time I won 'round here!"

He heard some discontent grumbles. Looks like they were already beginning to understand that his gambling skills were unmatched. Kida sighed. Maybe it was time to move on to another gambling house.

Just then, Kida heard angry shouts from the front of the room. What could possibly be going on? Just as he was about to go have a look himself, two uniformed figures crashed into the room, brandishing police batons. The black-haired one grabbed Kida and pinned him to a wall.

"You're under arrest for underage gambling!" He said it, but only out enough for Kida and the other officer to hear.

Kida scowled. "I'm not underage. I just look small. I didn't get enough to eat when I was a kid. You can check; I have a license."

"Already have it." It seems that the other officer had picked the license up from the table it had been on. "It's clearly a fake."

Kida felt a bead of sweat run down his face. Who were these people? How did they find out about him? He had been careful, very careful… but still…

The officer that had grabbed the ID looked nervous and began to shift from one foot to the other. "Um… he IS just a kid… are you sure…?"

The black-haired officer glared, then turned back to Kida. "We'll give you a choice. Either come with us to the station NOW, or you help us out with a little job."

Kida forced a smile. "What kinda job are we talkin' now?"

Meanwhile…

Namie opened the door, dodging deftly to avoid the television that flew out of the house.

"IZZAAAAAYAAA-KUUUuUN! IS THAT YOOOOUUUUUUUU?"

Namie grimaced. Shizuo. She quickly pulled out a hypospray, and just as Shizuo stormed out of the house she injected it into him. He collapsed instantly, unconscious.

()()()()()()()

"Tell us MOOORE, Celtyyyy!" Shouted Ed.

Celty decided to continue, with some reluctance.

"Well…" she typed. "All three of us stayed together for that time. Shinra had some very strange habits… particularly trying to do autopsies or going into the bathroom when others were showering." She shuddered. "Good thing I didn't pick up those habits."

"But the day came when Anri-chan had to leave us. She said she had found the person that she had to kill. His name was Shingen Kishitani… you might know him? He wears a gas mask around and can be really annoying. Well Anri-chan said that he killed her parents in some sort of faulty medical operation."

"Celty-san! I have to kill him! He MURDERED MY PARENTS!" Anri screamed in anger, as Celty had refused once again to teach her how to fight.

"I'm sorry Anri-chan… But I can't teach you how to fight."

"You're always doing what SHINRA wants! But you never care about me! Just because he sleeps in your bed…! You know that I must learn now! I've almost run out of my parents' belongings and I won't have anything to send him for my revenge! That is the moment that I will kill him!"

"So that's where all that stuff came from…" Shinra muttered.

"What was that?"

"MMmmmm… nothing…"

Anri glared. "I heard that Shingen has a son! I want that son to feel the pain of losing a parent! Just like I did!"

Shinra smiled. "I think that's a good idea!"

Celty typed angrily on her cellphone. "If you want to kill him then GO and DO IT! I'm not stopping you!"

"Then maybe I will!" Shouted Anri. She stormed out of the house.

A few days passed. Celty began to realize why she had invited Anri to stay with them. With Anri gone, Shinra was getting more and more… aggressive. Celty had to struggle to find time to herself. She began to dread the sound of "CELLLLLTYYYYY~~~ Where ARE YOUUUUU?" That seemed to echo through the halls whenever she could find a place to hide.

At last she couldn't take it anymore. She decided that she shouldn't be forced to live under these horrible conditions if she didn't want to. She marched up to Shinra, words already typed up on the phone. She shoved the screen into Shinra's face.

"I HATE YOU. LEAVE FOREVER AND NEVER COME BACK. IF I SEE YOU I WILL KILL YOU. GOODBYE."

"OOooohhhhh?" Shinra stared at Celty. "You can't meeeannnn this…! You're a BADDIE!"

Celty clenched her fist, trying to refrain from punching him as hard as she could. She pointed to the door. She didn't need to write anything; her intentions were clear enough.

"But CELLTY… If I leave now, you would have worked for free….!"

Meanwhile, Allen was feeling troubled. He thought (for some reaaason) that Suman was staring at him weirdly.

"Um… is something wrong, Suman-san?"

"Er… no." Suman grunted.


	35. Chapter 35

Hughes stood in front of a smelly looking... and smelling couch looking at the small pitiful group that was gathered there today.

"Uh... Hello..." He began nervously.

"HEY!" Shizuo shouted. "Weren't you the one IZAYA-KUN sent!"

Kida glared, "I recognize your voice! Have we met?"

"Good to see you're well Beggar-san" Celty typed.

"Uh... I don't know him!" Namie muttered.

"A-ah... I'm just here to tell you about this job..." Hughes mumbled... "FIRST!" He pointed to a new found dry-erase board with new found enthusiasm, "we have to infiltrate this castle disguised as a ... For me to be able to finally meet my wife a daughter once again, in order to bring a sad and uneventful conclusion of this story with and epic unwritten battle sequence! Are you with me!"

Namie glared "Impossible!"

"Che!"

"Umm... I think I may have another job scheduled..."

"IZZZAYYAAA-KUN!"

Hughes grinned, "That's why we called you all here today! I told you! It is. A hard job."

~Some unwritten battle scene later...~

"ELLLIICCCCCIIAAAA! MY WIFE!" Hughes screamed as ran through the lab he and Izaya infiltrated, breaking things. "DADDDYY'S HERE! DADDY IS HERE TO SAVE YOU!"

"Calm down Beggar-chan" Izaya said. "There's no need for that..."

"EEELLLLIIIIICCCCCIIIAAAA!" He began banging his head against the wall... "I willl... Save..."

"And who exactly needs the saving Maes?" Both the men turned to see the voice coming from a woman standing at the entrance of the room. "By the looks of it, I think you're the one who needs help."

"G-Gracia? Is that you...?... W-Why did you-?"

"You should already know the answer to that Maes! You betrayed us!"

"I NEVER BETRAYED YOU IN MY HEART!"

...

Eheh...

"Noooo!" Shinra whimpered. "Don't make me go! The food here is nice, and I'm protected so I don't have to fight... Pleeassee Celty-san, let me staaay! I'll be goooood!"

"Che." Celty typed. "Fine. But don't do anything strange..."

~A few days later...~

"Celty, Celty! I wrote a song about youuu! Wanna hear it? Wanna hear it?

"Uhh... Sure..."

"YAY!"

Celty, Celty, Celty! Is a good person!

She feeds me even though she can't eat

And the food tastes good despite what you may think!

Sausage, Cheese! It's all so tasty!

For the headless, I suppose this is heaven!

But why is she always so stern? I feel like I'm going to be crushed by her intimidation!

I'm so afraid, I may even cry. From the scary people that come here...

Is it your hobby to have psychotic people come over here and scare me?

Also, please stop being mean, and kicking me off the bed.

You're bigger and more well built so be nicer! You BADDIE!

Shinra smiled, "Did you like it?"

Suman continued to stare at Allen, and Allen soon began to become paranoid. "His eyyyes... His eyeees!" Was all he said these days.

Celty and Shinra were taking the train back from the medical conference. Celty was irritated at how extremely uneventful the conference was. Shinra had told her that Lime was going to kill him, but there was no trace of an assassination attempt. The most that happened was a minor drunken squabble between Shinra and another doctor. Celty just wished she could be home and rid of Shinra for good. He had probably just made the whole story up anyway…

"Noooo…. Cellllty, you don't understaaaand…. Lime still wants to kill me! Save me, CELTY! Just because the conference is over doesn't mean we can't be togeeeether!"

Celty struggled to ignore him. Maybe if she did he would go away. Much to her sudden surprise, he stood up quickly.

"FINE then, you BADDIE! I'm going to the last train compartment until you change your mind and let me live with you!"

Raye Penber was sitting in the next compartment over. Celty wasn't the only one asked to follow a doctor to this conference. He rubbed his aching head, wondering just how drunk he got last night. He hadn't intended to, but after his disguise as a wine barrel failed he was asked by the doctors to join in the conference and drink up. He had reluctantly agreed… and that was all he could remember. Oh yes… there had been some fight, hadn't there? A doctor with glasses had gotten mad about something or other…

Raye could hear shouts from the next car over. He listened in, but he could only hear one voice, shouting about wanting to live together or something. Was this guy talking to himself?

"FINE then, you BADDIE! I'm going to the last train compartment until you change your mind and let me live with you!"

Raye heard the angry footsteps of the person leaving his compartment. Hey, it was the doctor with glasses from last night! His name was…. Shinra… something. He seemed to be getting quite a lot of stares. He stormed down the train to the last compartment. Raye was tempted to follow, but decided it would be better to just go back to sleep…

When Raye awoke the train was already at the station and empty, except for him. He could hear shouts from outside.

"Do we have any detectives here?"

"He's one…!" Raye saw one of the doctors from last night run into the train and drag him out onto the bright station.

Raye rubbed his eyes. "I'm not a detective, I'm an FBI agent… there's a difference…"

His protests were ignored. A policeman led him to the other train.

"This is the train that runs parallel to the one you rode on… and during the ride, someone was MURDERED! We need your help to investigate it."

Raye looked over the scene of the crime. "Uh… well… it looks like the victim's money was stolen. Maybe it was just a robbery? It could've been anyone on this train, really… Maybe one of the doctors…?" This was a bit too much thinking to do during a hangover.

"What about MEEEE? Am I a suspect?" Asked Shinra eagerly.

"Um… no…? I mean, you were on the train with me… I saw you… and I looked at the schedule. You can't switch trains 'till you get here."

Shinra seemed annoyed by this deduction. Just then, everyone turned to see a man walk up to then with booming laughter.

"HAHAHA! I'm not a detective, but I've already seen through the killer's trick!" The man, KEATON, strode up confidently. "It was you, SHINRA!"

Shinra grinned. "And what proof do you have, HMMM?"

Keaton help out his hand. On the end of it perched a small bird. "Because you gave this bird a concussion using your TRAIN TRICK!"

The person looking over the whole battlefield smiled. Things seemed to be going according to plan. This person was actually having a bit of fun playing Godfinger with all the characters. The person set the KEG to make some gold, then realized that Hughes was nearly out of energy. Hughes was placed in a tent so that he could rest.

Hughes swayed. Even as he saw his wife and Izaya before him, he felt his rage, his joy, everything, slip away.

How long has it been since I slept, anyway? Weeks? Months? Hughes felt his vision blur, before it all became dark.

And that's why, as Gracia and Izaya looked on, Hughes fell on the ground in a deep sleep.

And so begins… THE NIGHTMARE MAES!

Meanwhile…

"Captain! Captain!"

Gin looked over at Kira. "Yes, what is it, Izu-chan?"

"What are we doing in this mine…?"

"Why, we're looking for gold, of course!"

Ed walked up to the two of them. "I thought you were supposed to pan the rivers for gold or something."

Years passed… The head of the tunnel collapsed, leaving the three trapped within the mine. But they continued to search for gold, living in the light of the few candles they had brought and eating the fish that lived in the natural lake that had formed over time. The first thing that gin had done was to declare his zanpaktou as their deity and give them a population limit of three people.

One day, the KEG heard voices. Had visitors come to their small village? Kira saw two people in black robes walk up to the holy shrine. The first was short, with white spiky hair. The second was a taller woman with long, wavy orange hair.

"Eh…?" The white-haired one sounded confused. "Isn't this Ichimaru's zanpaktou?" He reached out a hand to grab it.

"NOOOooo… Don't touch that! It is the holy sword of the times of old…!"

The two turned. "Oh, Izuru!" the woman exclaimed. "Is your captain with you?"

"You mean our leader?" Kira blinked and looked at her with wide eyes. "Please put this robe on. The way you dress… it's indecent…"

"Huh?"

"Um… don't you recognize us?" The white-haired one looked annoyed. "I'm Toshiro and she's Rangiku. From the Seireitei? Don't you REMEMBER?"

Kira just stared. "You were going to touch the holy deity…"

Toshiro frowned. "It's a ZANPAKTOU, not a deity!"

"So you surface dwellers have names for them…"

"Of course! Shinigami use them to fight!"

"You use the holy deities… for war? What devastating battles your kind must have!"

Toshro sighed. "Grrr… I just don't get it…"

That night Toshiro and Rangiku were ceremoniously forced out of the caves for blasphemy against the holy deity and so that the KEG could maintain their population limit. But ever since that day, Kira always wondered… if he too could use the holy deity- no, the zanpaktou… to fight.

While Allen and co. had gone off to bring the Heart of Innocence to Rodrom, Komui's job was to look through all of the old records to find any information he could on the Heart. He opened the record room –kept in the back of the Host Club- today, coughing with all of the dust and grime that came flying out. He grimaced. Books and scrolls were scattered about, dust coated everything… Komui sighed. He would never be able to find anything until this whole place was cleaned up and organized.

Komui's Record Room Cleaning… Coming SOON to Prepare!

Hughes looked around at his new surroundings. He was in a dark room, sitting on a bed. There was a cabinet to the eastern side of the room, a door to the west, a large stained glass window to the north, and a pillar right in the middle of the room. What was that doing there?

Go to pillar

You walk to the pillar.

Examine pillar

On it find scribbling of previous games of tic-tac-toe. Foreshadowing perhaps?

West

You walk to the door. It's a very nice door. Nothing you could afford in your previous life. You should be happy to have a chance to own a door like that, even if this is all a dream.

Open door

The door is locked.

Kick door

The door was not biting... er... Budging.

east

You walk to the cabinet, and realize with closer examination that it is more like a wardrobe.

Examine cabinet

You realize with closer examination that it is more like a wardrobe.

Examine wardrobe

It's quite a nice wardrobe. Maybe even nicer than that door. It was made of wood, or at least what appeared to be wood, and had one set of large doors and a smaller drawer below them.

Open wardrobe

Which part?

Large doors

You open the doors of the wardrobe, and as you would probably suspect, coats and clothes hung within it. It smells of moth balls.

Go into wardrobe

You pitifully try to crawl in, and hear the base wood plank crack. You notice a few moth balls in the corner.

Take moth balls

You don't have to worry about the moth's balls. In fact, you shouldn't.

Exit closet

What closet?

Exit wardrobe

You exit the now very damaged wardrobe.

Take coat

Taken

Take moth balls

What moth balls?

Open smaller drawer

It's locked with what appears to be a old locker lock, with letters and numbers. You began to have flashbacks of the old days, but quickly BANISH them.

North

You go to the window in the north. It's quite a grand window, with multiple colors and scenes.

Examine window

With further examination you realize that the window scenes were showing scenes and events from your life. How nice.

Go to bed

Excuse me?

South

You are back at your bed. It seems different now... nicer.

Got to pillar

You walk up to the pillar.

Examine pillar

On it find scribbling of previous games of tic-tac-toe. Foreshadowing perhaps?

Examine further

You could swear that you've seen this pillar before. In fact you know you have. L had been there... And some other guy. You look more closely at the tic-tac-toe games, and realize they were all the same game, all ending with draws. The order of letters was OOX-XOO-OXX At least horizontally. May be this is important?

East

You walk to the cabinet, and realize with closer examination that it is more like a wardrobe.

Open small drawer

What small drawer?

Examine wardrobe

It's quite a nice wardrobe. Maybe even nicer than that door. It was made of wood, or at least what appeared to be wood, and had one set of large doors and a smaller drawer below them.

Open small drawer

It's locked with what appears to be a old locker lock, with letters and numbers. You began to have flashbacks of the old days, but quickly BANISH them.

Put in code OOX-XOO-OXX

Unfortunately the lock has no "-" mark. So this code can not work... Pity...

Put code: OOXXOOOXX

The lock is now un-locked.

Open small drawer

Inside you find a small key labeled 'door key'

Take key

What key?

Take door key from small drawer

You have not opened the drawer.

Open small drawer

Inside you find a small key labeled 'door key'

Take door key

You have not opened the drawer.

Eh?

Excuse me?

You're doing this on purpose, right?

Perhaps you're right...

Answer me! Who are you!

Ahh... You shouldn't concern yourself with such trivial things... I'd advise you to try to get out of this room as soon as possible.

And why is that?

Hmmm?... Oh, just a suggestion... It may determine your remaining life span... Or should I say, this pitiful story's remaining life span? Eh? Hughes-san?

H-How do you know my name?

I know many things... It's my gift. and my cu-

WHO ARE YOU!

Hey! how did you...? Ahh... Whatever...I think I have told you a little too much... So I must leave now Hughes-san... So, wake up! Wake up, and smell the~~...

NOOOOoooooooo...

?

In recent years the caves were the KEG dwelled became dry, water was scarce. Gin had suggested that they cut down on the population limit, but both of the citizens had rejected the proposal and had become more and more rebellious. Gin began to feel his power slipping away. He soon turned to sake, and let his hair and stubble grow long. One day when he was particularly drunk, Kira approached him.

"Ummm... Exuse me si-"

"AHHHH! IZU-CHAN! I've beeen waaaitin'... For ya ta come. SIT... down..."

Kira nervously took a seat beside him. "Um... Sir. I was wondering... Have you ever killed someone?"

To be continued... Maybe...

Keaton smiled. "I've got this case all figured out! The victim was near-sighted, and because of this had a habit of going really close to people to see who they are. Shinra knew of this habit and utilized it to his advantage. When the train stopped at the ending station when both the trains are parallel and immobile. Shinra went to the room adjacent to the victim's room in the opposite train. He probably got the victim's attention by waving, and because of their near-sightedness the person had to press against the glass to see who was waving at them. This gave Shinra a perfect opportunity to take out his gun and shoot the victim. Unfortunately for him he had not realized that at that very moment a bird flew between the two trains and got hit by the side of the bullet in mid flight... You are the killer Shinra, admit it!"

Celty had now, just been able to exit the train. What had happened? She pushed her way through the crowd and saw police approaching Shinra and Sonohara lying dead on the ground. 'Anri-chan?... W-who did this?' She turned back to Shinra who seemed to be very flustered.

"STOP" He screamed. He pulled out a scalpel from his coat, and brought it up to his neck. "I-I... Admit it... I killed Anri-chan... B-but she... She was going to kill MEE!" He then turned to Celty, with a sad look in his face. "I hope you learned the value of life..." And sliced his throat with the scalpel.

"AHAAHAHA!" Keaton laughed. "You think I did that long, non-logical explanation for nothing! Silly, silly... I knew you planned to kill yourself with that blade so I switched it with a rubber one! AHAHA! If I didn't, it would be as bad as if I murdered him... "

"Well if he's not going to kill himself, I WILL!" Celty screamed/typed and sliced Shinra in two with her scythe.

'And that's the end!' She typed, 'Hmmm? Where did they all go?'

Komui's Record Room Cleaning… Coming SOON to Prepare!

"Killed someone EH? Ya thousands IZUUU!" Gin shouted standing. "What? Ya surprised?"

"Um... Yes..-"

Gin then turned to Kira. Now serious. "Ye want me ta teach you ta FIGHT? Eh? AM I RIGHT?"

~5 minutes later~

"YEAH! That's it! That's the best way to strengthen those abdomen MUSCLES! YAHOOO!" Gin screamed.

Just then Ed entered the room wondering what all the noise was about, "AHg! What's that!" he said as he fell to the ground in shock.

Gin smiled, "Kira."


	36. Chapter 36

Gracia and Izaya stood there for a moment in shock as they watched Hughes collapse on the ground, fast asleep. Izaya smiled happily.

"One Maes Hughes, slightly damaged, but he'll always be like that, so…"

"Yes, you did a very good job. It seems your skills as a deliverer are only outmatched by your skills as an informant. I have your payment prepared in the next room, if you'd come with me…" Gracia called for a guard to take Hughes away and went into the next room, Izaya skipping after her.

Hughes opened his eyes blearily. It took him a few minutes to realize that he was in the cell of a dungeon. It was completely empty, and a guard stood in front of it. Hughes was tempted to fall back asleep, but decided instead to ask the guard where he was.

The guard stared blankly ahead as he recited, "Welcome. Welcome to Gracia's Castle. You have chosen, or been chosen, to be relocated to this beautiful remaining refuge of a dungeon, on account of disturbing the peace of Gracia's Castle and/or its surroundings. Any further questions can be addressed at your interrogation."

Hughes continued to ask questions, but the guard did not respond further. Hughes decided to give up and curled up on the stone floor to get a bit more rest. When he woke up he was being escorted down a hallway with a different guard. The guard shoved him into a room, with blazing lights shining in his face. And across the room stood his interrogator… whose name is….

######

Ed was so traumatized that he locked himself in his room for weeks and refused to come out. Kira decided that he had no choice. Gin wasn't going to teach him how to fight. He remembered the time when Gin told him to attempt to run away from Ed without using his powers, but even when he had secretly used Wabisuke behind a stalagmite, Gin found out.

"I TOLD YE NOT T' USE YER POWER, IZU-CHAAAAN! If ye don't wanna learn how ta fight, you can leave!" Gin had thown him out of the cave's living quarters until he was ready to return.

But Kira had had enough. It was time to show that Gin the power of his Zanpakuto. He pulled out Wabisuke just as he heard a shout from the other room.

"Oi, Izu-chan~~ Time for some more… 'lessons'…"

Kira stormed into the room. "I'M SICK OF THIS! I want you to teach me how to FIGHT! I thought that was the whole point! But I'm not getting anything out of these… lessons…"

Gin eyes the Zanpakuto in Kira's hand. "Oi, ye shouldn't use yer power, Izu-chan…"

Kira sighed. "How about we come to a compromise. "You quit doing these lessons and teach me how to fight properly, and I won't use my power. Agreed?"

Gin hastily agreed and commenced to give Kira some real training.

Ed finally came out of his room.

Allen and co. were taking a little break from their work of taking the Heart of Innocence to Rodrom. They were playing baseball, in fact. Although Allen would've preferred soccer.

Lavi hit the baseball far into the air with his hammer, and Lenalee stomped heavily after it. Just before she reached it, she tripped and fell with a loud grunt. She looked over at what she had tripped on.

"Hey, look!" She called. "It's a dead hobo!"

The others gathered around her.

"Wait a sec…" Allen paused. "Isn't that Suman?"

Komui's Record Room Cleaning….!

Komui observed the dusty room with a frown. He could never get far in cleaning it… it just brought back… too many memories…

He sighed. It had to be done. With resolution, he plunged into the room.

Shizuo sat at a bar bored. Since Tom's leg was broken he had to stay at the hospital for three weeks. And now Shizuo was out of work. When had life become so boring? So predicatable... He remembered yesterday and smiled. Even though he had to work with a smelly beggar and that FLEA, that day was still VERY exciting... Suddenly he felt a pat on his shoulder and turned around, angrily grabbing the person's wrist. "Oh... It's you..."

Kida exited the gambling house with joy. "I've finally won 10000000 yen!..." He looked around. Then why am I so unhappy?... Now that last job... He thought back "Now that was exciting! I hope something that that turns up again!" Suddenly he felt a tap on his shoulder turned surprised. "Oh! Long time, no see..."

Namie sat at her office desk speaking into her cellphone. "10000000 yen! But that's outrageous! L-LeT me just speak to him!... W-ait! DON-T HANG U-!..." She slammed he phone onto the desk in frustration. "Maybe I should hire a detective... They solve things like this all the time..." She muttered. She then looked up in surprise that her office door had just opened. "Who let you i-... Oh It's YOU..."

Celty looked out into the distance feeling happy. That last job had been really risky and stressful, and I'm glad it's over with... She thought. Suddenly she felt a presence, and turned to see...

8 hours earlier...

Hughes never got to find out because suddenly someone or something darted out from behind the door and knocked the interrogator unconscious. The figure, walked up to Hughes saying, "Hello, I'm Selim, and I need your help to save someone!"

"B-but you're just a boy..."

"I am several thousand of your Earth years old"

"I declined his offer and made a quick escape from the castle, so I could reunite our forces once again!" Hughes explained the the motley group of three sat glowering before him. "Um... I came back because I think Izaya-san has been captured by the enemy! We must go rescue him!"

"Really?"

"Captured? That's great!"

"Izaya-kuunn?"They all turned, knowing Shizuo had something to say. "Izaaayyya-KUNNN? Captured! Ahhh.. AhhAH... I Hope they treat him WELL... VERY WELL... But with force as well! GREAT FORCE! To bring Pain! DEEEEEP Pain!" He continued for several minutes more.

Hughes sighed with frustration and turned to get some fresh air outside.

'Even though I can just see his back... He seems so sad...' Celty typed

Kida nodded knowingly.

...

'Where's Namie?'

~Elsewhere~

Namie stood half naked in her apartment waving at a dead hobo that had been brought there a day before, "Konichiwa! Koooniccchhiiwa!"

When Ed returned he found Gin and Kira laughing, drinking, and eating Chinese food. He didn't want to talk to them, but he knew that one day he would have to befriend them once again. He couldn't just be alone in the dark, cold cave with no one to talk to. He sat down next to them.

"Umm... Hello..." He mumbled.

"AHAAHAH!" Gin laughed, "Why, hello there young man! I'm a great sorcerer of the east, ICHIMARU GIN! And this is my manservant! Kira!"

Kira burped.

"You want a SAUSAGE? Young MAN!" Gin said, pulling out a shiny sausage; Near style...

"N-No.. Sorry... I'm SORRY!" Ed said backing away.

"Why is he apologizing to us?" Kira asked.

"My dear manservant! It is because we WON!"

...?

At the hospital, Tom began to have strange visions. A murder being committed every night in the room opposite to his. But every time he got to the room, there was no evidence that a murder had occurred. Also some strange people had been visiting him recently. One night, they decided to stay with Tom, to see the murder being committed themselves. As before, a murder was committed and Tom ran to the room but today, found a DEAD HOBO on the ground. Allen and Co. smiled. "The Shounen Detective Group (Allen, Lavi, Kanda, and Lenalee) have solved this case! You, Tom-san, have killed Su- I mean, this dead HOBO!"

"Let find some clams! HURHUR" Lenalee grunted.

Komui's Record Room CLEANING...

…

…

…

TO BE CONTINUED….

"So, Izaya, are you going to stay for a while?" Gracia looked up at Izaya expectantly.

"I'd love to, but I have to get back to my job…." Replied Izaya. "Well I'll see you around!"

Namie stood on her balcony, waving desperately. "KOOOONICHIWAAAA!"

She heard a grunt over the cellphone she held in her hand. "Hey… I told you to get HALF naked… but you're clearly not half-naked… I'd only call that 5% naked…"

"WHAT?" Shouted Namie. "Whadya want me to do, take my clothes off or something? PERVERT!"

"Well it seems you can't even follow my instructions… Pity… Well that's all I was going to tell you to do, but since you clearly can't follow simple directions I have one last order for you before I let you brother go…."

"I bet you want me to KILL MYSELF, right? HA!"

"Um… no… I want you to go in your room. On your desk I have placed an isolinear rod… I want to go there… and EAT IT."

"You're joking, right?"

Suddenly, Namie heard a shout over the line.

"DAMN STALKER! LET ME OUT!"

"Seiji!" Cried Namie. The only place where he could be was Harima's house! Namie ran off her balcony and straight to the house of Harima. She kicked the door down and stormed inside… but the house was empty. She found the phone in the house was off the hook, still calling her cellphone. Muttering a curse she slammed her cellphone shut.

%%

And now… the founding of the KEG and assorted side-stories. It all began on the year 1711…

"Eh?" Gin glared at Kira. "Why are you so against what Aizen's doin'?" He's gonna find the secret to… IMMORTALITY, lad!"

Kira gulped. "I just don't think that messing with demons is a good idea."

Ed glared at the ground. _I'M a better alchemist than Aizen…_

Just then, they heard a shout.

"I'VE DONE IT! COME, EVERYONE!"

Gin, Kira, Ed, and assorted other folks came running into the room where the shouts had come from. Aizen stood over a pentacle, triumphant. "I've managed to call the devil here!"

"The devil? What an inappropriate name for ME… KOLKOLKOL… Anyhow, drink from this…! It will give you IMMORTALITY!" Suddenly Russia popped out of the pentacle, holding a bowl in his hands. "Drink up! If I'm anything, I'm generous!"

()()()()()()

Namie headed into the small newspaper making building with a sign in the front labeled "Ikebukuro Daily". She had heard that the people here had all sorts of information.

"Hello, welcome to Ikebukuro Daily! Coming to buy our latest edition?"

"No, actually, I'm looking for my brother. And I heard you people might know where he is." _That voice sounds familiar… _Namie looked up to see a beaming Izaya. "Hey! You're that traitor!"

Izaya ignored her. "Well if it's information you need, you've come to the right place! We can provide you with any info you need! And then there's the matter of payment… I'll tell you where your brother is, but first you tell ME something…"

Namie grabbed Izaya by his collar. "TELL ME WHERE SEIJI IS OR DIIIIE!"

Hughes entered the room with new vigor. "Um… so let's begin 'Operation Rescue Izaya from Gracia's Castle'!"

"YEAH!" The others all replied in unison.

"Hmmm…. We need money to take the train there, though…"

Kida laughed. "That just means… we hafta commit… a train robbery!"

(a quick scene of Shizuo knocking a few hundred people out and the others taking their wallets)

And now the four boarded the train bound for Gracia's Castle.

"Time for the train robbery!" Kida declared.

'Um… I thought that we already did the robbery and now we're making our escape…' Typed Celty.

Allen was getting more and more annoyed by these annoying people following him around. He could just hear their voices from a week before…

"We hafta use Kanda's plan and blame that guy, Tom, for Suman's death!" Exclaimed Lavi. "Or they might think WE did it!"

"AND I WON'T GET CLAMS!" Boomed Lenalee.

Allen hated the plan. It involved dragging Suman's body to the room across from Tom's, stabbing it repeatedly, and then dragging the body away before Tom made it there. Every night. For a week. Needless to say that Allen lost a lot of sleep over it.

And as he stood there a week later, seeing the look of utter despair on Tom's face, he could help but feel sorry for the man.

Tom let out a sob. "I- I DIDN'T DO IT! NO!" He looked over to Allen, Kanda, Lavi and Lenalee, and he managed a wavering smile. "You were here already… you can tell them I'm innocent…"

Lavi shook his head. "No way, we saw you kill him!"

"Every night, in fact…" Muttered Kanda.

Allen felt the seeds of doubt growing. He decided to confer with his friends.

"Listen, guys… I've been thinking… I don't think what we're doing is right… If we just tell the police that we found a dead hobo then we and he can go on with living…"

The others shook their heads. They had no choice but to frame Tom. It was the only way.

Allen decided to take matters into his own hands. He pulled Tom over for a private conference.

"Um… you know you're not guilty, right? If you just tell the police-"

"No, you don't understand!" Tom's voice was shaking. "I- I've been having memory lapses lately…. I could have killed him during those…!"

Allen couldn't take it anymore. _Why am I forced to live with such nonsensical characters! _He stormed out of the hospital, leaving Tom to his fate.

Allen was walking along the street when he saw this strange-looking house. Before he knew it, he was being pulled in completely against his will. In a few moments he stood facing a man with red hair and a beard who was smoking profusely.

"Um… I'm sorry…" Allen rubbed his head. "I dunno how I got in here…"

"Hello. My name's Cross Marian. I deal in wishes."

"Okay? Can I go?"

"Don't you wish you couldn't see them?" Cross inquired. "The souls of akuma, that is…"

"Well yeah, maybe that'd be nice…"

Just then Cross let out a booming laugh. "GOOD! Well then, young man, you are to be my slave until the time that I feel like granting your wish! Got it?"

Allen blinked. Was it really worth it? He shrugged. He really didn't like seeing the souls of akuma, and working for Cross… Well, how hard could it beee?

Five minutes later Allen was rushing around in the kitchen, with an annoying Timcampy bobbing in his face and eating most of the food he had prepared for dinner.

"SERVANT! Is the food done yet!"

"Not yet, sir! Timcampy keeps eating it!"

"Fine then, just bring me some sake…"

###

Allen sighed. He had been working with Cross for several days now, yet the work only seened to get more difficult. Today, though, something different was about to happen.

"Well, apprentice… Today I want you to go on a mission."

"Am I supposed to retrieve innocence or something?"

Cross ignored Allen. "But you need someone to go with you… How about Kanda?"

"WHAT!" Screamed Allen. "BUT I HATE THAT GUY! I can't even look at him without…. GRRR…"

Izaya sat facing a giant pile of papers and books. The pile spoke.

"You gave her the information on her brother without her paying the price?"

Izaya glared at the pile. "It won't happen again… but she DID threaten to kill me! I thought I was gonna die!"

The pile gave off a general air of annoyance. "I will not tolerate your excuses. Now go."

Izaya frowned, but bowed respectfully towards the pile before making a swift exit.

The pile smirked. Things were going according to plan.

Komui's Record Room Cleaning… TO BE CONTINUED… maybe…


	37. Chapter 37

And now... The moment that you've all been waiting fooooor! The epic, cool, fashionable, in-style... ummm... PREQUEL! For years now you've been asking yourself, how did this start? When will it end? Why was it started? Why hasn't it just ended yet? Why would somebody write such a thing? Are these people sane? Is anyone actually reading this right now? Does this fanfic have any readers at all... *sob* ... W-well if you are... *sniff*... Reading... This... Please... Ennnjooooyyy-oy-oy

Hughes lay in an ocean. Well to be more precise, the shore of an ocean. Well, partially in and out of the water... Strange, how'd he get there? Well he wasn't really thinking about that right now. He wasn't actually thinking about anything. He felt sore all over, hardly able to move. He lifted his head slightly, to see on the sand Elicia playing. Digging something up. Perhaps worms? He wanted to tell her to stop, or at least warn her not to eat any but he couldn't. He suddenly felt a sharp jab in his back. He was hauled up and brought to a large building. He now sat across the table from someone. A piece of apple pie was placed in front of him, and he hurriedly ate it.

"That's what you westerners like, yes?" Said the old Asian man who sat across from him. "I knew you westerners! Ahh Yes, I remember. A promise... A promise I had made. In a long forgotten dre-"

Hughes stood now in Amerstrian uniform with Roy beside him. "Now, Mister Ling Yao... With what I'm proposing... You will have to be completely open with me, as I will be to you. Are you prepared to do that?"

The young Xingian frowned, "Um, I-I'll have to think about it..." Ling said quickly dashing out of the room.

Roy glared at Hughes, annoyed. "Why are we here anyway?"

"Ahh, Roy my friend. Did they not tell you?" Hughes smiled, "We're here to retrieve SECRET information from the Xingian government and deliver it back to our employers..."

"What? I had nothing to do with this!"

"Hmm? You didn't? Well that doesn't matter... We might as well carry out this mission while we are still here... Now! I know where his SECRET safe is. He looked right at it when I mentioned SECRETS!"

"But you di-""

"Let's go! I want to go check out your dream!" He walked out onto the porch and looked around spotting Gracia amongst the crowd. "I'll handle this…" He said coolly, pushing Roy to the side.

"Hey Baby," He grinned leaning against the railing next to her.

She turned away ignoring him.

"Well, ye know... I've been thinkin' bout doin' some secure-to-the-chair-repelling, If ye know what I mean..."

"Awww... How romantic Maes. Now go away or I might betray you in a few seconds..."

"Awwww~~ Honeybuns you wouldn'-"

She took out a gun, and shot Roy in the leg.

"Why meeee...?" Roy groaned clutching his leg.

Gracia grinned. "You want to know? You want to know eh? It's because I like to kill those who don't expect it. Those who are so high in life that they don't see it ending as a reality! I love the look of surprise on their faces! And the loook of PAIIIN!"

Hughes looked up in horror. "NOO!" He cried. "I won't let you suffer any longer ROOOOY~~!" He threw himself at Mustang, killing him under his own weight. He smiled. "Now that we've gotten that all taken care of... Repelling time~~!"

Ling, who was walking by at the moment saw water gushing out from the sides of the buildings. How strange...

Hughes woke up, thrashing inside the bathtub. And Ling bolted up from his bed. Roy pointed a gun towards Ling. "Tell us your secret! NOOW!" He shouted.

"Secret? What secret~~?" He said, smiling innocently. "I have no secrets that I wouldn't tell you westerners! ahah... AHhah..."

"NOOOW! I SAY" Roy screamed throwing Ling to the floor.

Ling looked at the floor in confusion rubbing it adoringly. "It's sooo soft~~~ So smooth~~... No food stains! This must be a dream!"

"Well, guess what! You can't control it! Eheh!" Said the random dude in the back. "You know why? Cause it's my dream!" Suddenly he got killed by a whole bunch of people who stormed through the door.

"Who was he?" Roy asked.

Hughes shrugged.

O

Hughes, Roy, and that random guy awoke on the Flying Pussyfoot I which traveled from Amestris to Xing. It really could be called, the longest train ride lasting a total of 10 hours. But nobody called it that... They quickly cleared the materials they had, and left the train leaving sleeping Ling to dream on...

~Awhile later, and in the modern age somehow...~

"BWAHAAHH!" Ling laughed standing triumphantly in his helicopter. "I've captured you FRIEND Hughes-san! What are you going to doooo!"

Hasn't this happened several times already? Hughes thought. "I don't care! Do what you want with him!"

"Oh~~?" Ling looked surprised then kicked the random guy out of the helicopter, leaving him to his fate. "Well then... I have another proposal Hughes-san~~! You want to see your family right?"

Roy glared, "Ignore him Maes!..."

"M-My family?" Hughes looked up at Ling "Y-you could bring them back?"

"Yeeeees! Hughes-san! But at a price!"

"A price?"

"Ah... It's really nothing... Hughes-san just has to do a little favor for me, that's all~ Then he can see his family again!" (Sound familiar?)

A bit later

"I need an architect! One that is as good as me!" Hughes said, to Pinako.

She sat there smoking her pipe for a long time. "I have one better... Well actually she's not an architect... But auto-mail mechanic, architect, same difference. At least for these stories purposes..."

Winry Rockbell; The Architect ... Join up?

Somewhere deep within Ishbal

Envy sat at a gambling house in Ishbal. After being sent here to start the war, he was now stuck there to try to encourage the fighting and preach about hateful Amerstrians. He didn't really want to do that job and the war seemed to be going pretty well without him. So now he was gambling. How nice.

"Hey!" Hughes said. "I need to talk to you."

Envy quick grabbed his drink and chips and went to exchange them for money. "Ya? What kind of job?" he asked. "I'm kinda busy ye' know..."

"Um... Something quick. Nothing to crazy... Not like the last job... Just... inception..."

"Hmmm? Inception eh? Do you have a chemist?" (Cause this is what you first ask when you are planning on a evil illegal dream invasion...)

"Uhhh... No... Marcoh... Well he's not around anymore..." Hughes muttered.

"Eh Marcoh?" Envy laughed. "That old fool? I know someone much better then Marcoh ever was."

ENVY: The Forger

JOooooin~~ UP!

And... A bit laterer...

Hughes, Envy, and Ling, who had appeared there a few moments ago entered a small smelly tent where the supposed chemist was.

A young Ishballan turned to greet them. "Oh hello! I'm Scar's brother!"

"Uhhh... Okay..."Hughes mumbled. 'Do you think you could help us create a sedative so we can go THREE layers deep!"

"Oh, sure! Anytime. But there's that matter of payment~~..."

SBro: The Chemist!

JOIN UP!

"Ummm... Do you have a name?" Hughes asked.

"Huh?" SBro looked up grinning, "Sorry, I didn't catch that.~~"

"Umm... Never mind..."

A bit earlier

Ling, Hughes and Roy sat in a helicopter. ... It's all so wonderfully descriptive!

"So Hughes-san~~ Is inception possible?" Ling asked.

"What's incep-?"

"No!" Roy interrupted. "Here. Let me give you an example: Don't think about elephants... What are you thinking about?"

Ling frowned, "Wow! How did you do that! I-I'm thinking about elephants!..."

"NO! But you see. You know **I** told you. You can always figure out who planted the idea..." Roy growled.

"B-but why elephants?"

Roy smiled, "Because Elephants are to most terrifying creature to man. Ever since the woolly mammoth of the arctic!"

"Elephants are interesting animals too..." Hughes mumbled.

Much further into the future...

It was late, and at their SECRET hideout Winry had just finished her totem, a ... weighted wrench.

She was about the leave when she noticed Hughes sleeping in a chair, where he did his EXPERIMENTS.

Of course she had to see.

She appeared in an elevator which was moving downward to the fifth floor. It stopped and she peered through the door to see Hughes' living room, with Gracia drawing with Elicia and Hughes bringing some food in. It looked like Gracia's special apple pies.

Hughes smiled mischievously and snuck up behind Elicia and began to tickle her.

"MAES HUGHES!" Gracia shouted, jerking his arm away. "Don't you know tickling her will make her asthma act up!" She grabbed the inhaler to help the coughing Elicia.

"I-I'm sorry!" Hughes said backing away.

Gracia stood up, furious, "Maes Charles Hughes! You daaarned husband. Hurting our daughter lik-"

"Stop!" Hughes ordered.

"lik-lik-liikke" Gracia mumbled and then the scene froze in time. "You see now, Winry." He muttered without turning. "This is the only way I can dream!"

"B-but why do you do it? Why do you trap her in a cage of your own memories?" Winry asked as he entered the elevator.

"So I can finally get the final word."

00

0

(they need to dance and celebrate when Ling gets shot~~)

In some other universe...

The KEG

"Wait stop!" Ed shouted. "Something's not right!"

"Huh?" Kira and Gin said. Russia glared.

"This place, this world... Can you actually remember coming here? How did we get here?"

"We- just came from... umm" Kira mumbled.

"Someone must've brought us here! They tried to recreate an environment that we'd feel normal at, so we wouldn't suspect a thing, but they made a mistake! They could only probe our sub-conscious and made this world! I mean, just look at that carpet!"

*up above*

"Damn yooooou!" The green brain screamed. "You had to go and mess up the carpet!"

"I-I'm sorry man... It won't happen again." The pink brain mumbled.

~~~?

Tom sat in a smelly jail cell. He actually had for the last few days. With no alibi, and false accusations from those kids there was no way he could prove his innocence. Actually he didn't want to. He had been quite unstable lately. Maybe he did kill the hobo? Suddenly he heard whispering from outside his cell. He stood up and walked to the front to see Allen and Kanda pitifully trying to hide themselves nearby. "So our mission is to rescue that guy?" Kanda asked pointing to Tom. "I thought we were going to try to fram-"

Allen ignored Kanda and walked up to Tom, "You're the guy that's going to executed right?~~ I'll help you escape! But there's a price!"

"That joke is getting old..."

"I even have this shiny GREEN thing! You can-" He was cut off from a large booming sound from the hallway.

"L-Lenalee…" Allen stuttered.

"I'm the only one who can fight her!" Kanda declared and jumped into the hallway. There was an epic fight, but unfortunately Kanda was killed from being squashed by a door. Allen took MUGEN and made a quick escape with Tom.

0

Komui's STORAGE room CLEANING...

coooooming soooon~~

That's all for now...

And good night!

"Here, let me show you more…" Hughes pressed the button for the 12th floor of the elevator.

Winry followed him out onto a beach where Gracia and Elicia sat.

"Look at them…" Hughes murmured, staring in adoration. "It looks like they're digging for something… Maybe a worm? But just when I want to call out to them, see their smiling faces… Well…" Hughes raised his voice.

"GRACIAAA! I LOVE YOUUUU~~"

Gracia turned around, glaring at him. "I am not programmed to respond in that area."

"See, and that's my problem. The reason you're here is so you can help me make this place into the time of my life~~"

Winry looked at him in horror. "Y-you've recreated all this from memory? So you can live out your sick fantasies again!" She paused. "What about inception?"

"That was just a front to get the best architect here… Here, let's go to a different level…"

Hughes led Winry back into the elevator.

"Ew… If these are all the times that you wanted to relive your sick thoughts, I don't want to see them!"

"NO!" Hughes shouted. "These are all the times I regret… Here…" Hughes pressed a button and the elevator opened on a different level, opening with a long hallway.

"Is this your house?" Winry asked.

"Me and Gracia's… Ah, here we are."

They had reached a small bedroom. A young girl lay on the bed, coughing up blood. Gracia was fervently attending to her.

"You see…" Explained Hughes, "Elicia's asthma had been acting up quite a bit lately. The doctor said we might die if we didn't treat it. But we didn't have the money… And, well…"

You might remember this scene well...

Just then the phone rang, and Hughes ran to get it.

"Hello…" He said.

"Oh yes, hello. This is Roy Mustang from the military…" Said Roy. "I just wanted to see if you wanted to follow up on my proposal I made earlier. We need some new members you see. If you don't join the military your daughter will die! MUHAHA!"

Hughes began to cry, "It's just... I don't want to leave my family... I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!"

"Hehe, well you have to make your decision now Hughes-san!"

"Do you promise to treat my daughter for her illness?"

"Of course! HEHE!"

"Fine I'll do it.."

"Good lad Hughes-san. Besides, the military is easy work; you'll be able to visit your family again in no time! Haha!"

The dream sequence seemed to stop. Hughes stood glaring at the ground, speaking to no one in particular. "But Roy lied! Instead of the military, he framed me for a murder their organization had conducted, and swore to tell the world that I had murdered someone unless I worked for them as an Extractor. So I did… I had no CHOICE… WAHHH!"

By now Winry was already extremely nervous. This Hughes guy was really starting to freak her out. There was something very wrong with him… Without thinking, Winry dashed back to the elevator and pressed the button for the basement.

The door opened up and Winry dashed into the room… Because of her recklessness she stepped on a glass sitting on the floor. Gracia, who was sitting on a couch, turned around to look at her.

"What are you doing here?" Gracia asked cooly.

"I-I I'm W-Win- Winry Ro- Rockbe-" Winry stammered.

"I know who you are. What are you doing here!" Gracia picked up a piece off broken glass from the floor and approached the trembling Winry. Winry was paralyzed with fear. She heard the door open behind her, and Hughes ran out, dragging her into the elevator. Gracia grabbed the elevator grate, now screaming.

"YOU PROMISED! YOU PROMISED YOU'D STAY WITH ME!"

"I'll be back sooooon…" Hughes opened his eyes and he was back in reality. Winry was lying on a chair next to his, breathing heavily.

Just as Roy entered the room, Winry began to rant.

"HUGHES, YOU FREAK! I don't know what's wrong with you, but you're really messed up in there! I'm not opening up to such a twisted person!" Winry stormed out of the room.

Roy gave Hughes an I-told-you-so look, and Hughes glared back. "She'll be back."

And he was right. Winry returned soon after and demanded to join them in the inception.

*Flashback to the helicopter scene*

"How simple's the idea?" Hughes asked.

"Oh, simple enough…" Ling leaned back in his seat. "You see, the current emperor of Xing is old… Almost ready to die. And since I couldn't find a Philosopher's Stone or anything, and I'm nowhere NEAR next in line for the position, I need you to plant the idea in the next heir's head that he will give up his father's empire… to MEEEE!"

Roy glared at him. "I already told you, it's not possible!"

"It is." Hughes spoke up. "I've done it before."

"You mean with Gracia! Yeah, like THAT worked so well…!"

"SHUT UP!" Hughes shouted, shocking everyone into a momentary silence.

(Back the PRESENT…)

Hughes, Winry, Ling, Roy, Envy and SBro all sat in a semicircle around a board. On the board were the words "I WILL GIVE UP MY FATHER'S EMPIRE" written in large letter.

"Sooo… Any ideas?" Hughes asked.

The train came to a halt with a deafening screech.

"Hey, where's Hughes?" Kida looked around.

'He said he was going to a different compartment.' Typed Celty.

"Yeah, he took his shiny silver suitcase, too…" Muttered Shizuo. "Does that mean he's not coming back?"

"But how are we gonna 'rescue' Izaya without him?" Asked Kida, annoyed. "I mean, it's not like any of US wanted to rescue him…"

They all nodded in mutual agreement.

'So… Where to now…?' Celty asked.

()()()()()()()()()

Namie is still looking for Seiji…..

Suddenly the KEG appeaded in a dungeon-like room. They were handcuffed to the walls.

"Eh… We need ta get out of here!" Shouted Gin.

Just then, the door opened and in came Aizen and Tosen.

"Aizen! Tosen! Thank goodness… I thoght we were done for!" Babbled Kira.

But they were moving particularly slow for some reason.

"Aizen? Tosen? C- Can you hear me?"

Aizen unlocked the three and led them away.

Tom was about to run when Allen grabbed his sleve.

"WAIT! I have to save my friend Kanda!"

Tom frowned. "It's way to dangerous! Your friend's probably dead already!"

"HE'S NOT DEAD!"

Tom was convinced. Allen was very convincing…

OOOOOOOOO

Mikado sat on a table, leafing through a large pile of books and newspapers. The door opened and Izaya walked in, meticulously folding a piece of newspaper.

"Hey, Mikado? What are you doing…?"

"Oh!" Mikado looked up. "I'm, um, just looking for some information for the article…"

Izaya nodded. "So what are your plans so far?"

"Well it seems that the place to stary talking about is when the people first found out about what was going on… because it's, like, from our point of view! You know?"

"Not really…"

KOMUI'S RECORD SToRAGe roOM CLEANING

Komui sighed, leaving the room. He could never get very far.

He sat outside with Reever, sipping coffee.

"Sir, if you need any help-"

No, I have to do this alone…" Muttered Komui.

TO BE CONTINUED!

The Keg walked through winding stone castle hallways followed by possessed Tosen and Aizen. They finally came to a large wooden door which opened magically. Inside the room stood two cloaked figures, with the rose crosses imprinted on their uniforms.

Kanda snorted, "Why are we here? This is wrong!"

"I WANT CLAAAMS!" Lenalee shouted and suddenly a whole bunch of clams appeared on the large dining table nearby.

The Keg and possessed folk entered the room, Kira looking astonished, "W-who are you guys? What have you done with Captain Aizen and Tosen!"

Kanda smirked, "Ah, nothing really. We will do much more damage if you don't tell us the SECRET!"

A few dream layers later...

Sbro was driving franticly through the streets of Ishbal as Amestris soldiers shoot at his car.

"I-Iv'e never stolen a car like this before!" He shouted as he drove through the rain and traffic. "This is sooooo~~ exciting! Did you guys see that!" He turned to see a sedated crew behind him. ..."Oh..."

Mustang floated somewhere...

THIRD LEVEL: ICE FORTRESS! (AKA the NORTH)

Hughes, Ling, Winry, Envy, and the prince guy stood in northern Amestris as harsh cold winds knocked all, but Envy over...?

Hughes looked up at the huge wall the separated Amestris from the country of Drachma. "WE MUST CLIMB!" He declared and the five began their ascent. But suddenly the ground rumbled.

"A tsunami?" The prince guy asked.

"NOO! AN AVALANCHE! FALL!" Hughes screamed.

...?

"Huh?" Gin blinked, "What 'secret'?"

"The SECRET the SECRET" Lenalee said spinning around Kanda.

"The secret... To immortality of course..." Kanda said.

"I-Immortality! We don't have any such secrets!" Ed shouted.

"Hmm~~? Kanda? How do you know if they know the secrets or not?" Lenalee asked.

"Why of course Lenalee my dear! I know because that young man is **42** years old!" He declared pointing to Kira.

"WOW! You're so smart KANDA!"

"Anyways back to the topic... What is the SECRET?"

"And why should we tell you?" Gin asked.

"I can pay you any amount you like! Just tell us!"

"10,000,000 yen"

"Huh?"

"10,000,000 yen. Pay us 10,000,000 yen!"

"B-But that's way too much!"

"The price for immortality... Did you think it would be small?"

"Smaller..."

Some time later...

"Fine, I see you have to be convinced some other way..." Kanda pulled out a large glass block with a metal sculpture of North Amestris. "Ehehe! All your friend will die if you don't give us the secret!"

"Eh?" Gin said, "I don't get it..."

Kanda flicked the glass block.

...?

The ground rumbled, "A tsunami?" The prince guy asked.

"NOO! AN AVALANCHE! FALL!" Hughes screamed. He cut the rope that secured him and fell into the darkness... For quite awhile. I'm going to wake up right before I hit the ground... Right? Hughes thought. He saw it in the distance rushing quickly towards him. "OU OUUNd GROUND!" SPLAT

Sometime else...

Kanda and Lenalee walked through the train station. "Amazing Kanda! Amazing!" Lenalee shouted. "Now we're rich and we get to buy a present for Allen!"

"Yes Lenalee my dear! But you must remember! We're here strictly on business! This being the longest train trip in all the world, from Amestris to Xing, our plan can only work here!"

"Ohh~~ Yes Kanda I forgot! But isn't it strange! Look at all those people dressed in yellow!" She pointed a group of her fellow passengers who were gathering around a young blonde haired man.

"Oh yes! That is strange Lenalee~~! Perhaps there's going to be a party!"

"And look at all the grey people here!"

"Hmm! Perhaps there's a... Well never mind that! Let get aboard!~~"

Strange things had been going on at the Flying Pussyfoot and the DRRR cast were feeling quite uneasy. Recently people had been reporting of hallucinations, and weakness. The DRRR folk were not getting along.

"This is all your fault Kida-kun!" Celty typed. "All those gang members you brought along are making us all feel uneasy!"

"Eh? Well how bout all those grey people? What are they doing on the train! Maybe YOU brought them here HEADLESS-BIKER!"

("The blood looks so good~ on gray!" Mikado said in the background.)

Kanda and Lenalee awoke in a train compartment breathing heavily with Hughes lying fast asleep next to them.

"We've extracted what we've needed, now let's go!" Kanda whispered.

"Let's go!" Lenalee cheered, and the two gathered their equipment and made a quick escape.

"Oouun OUUN GROUND!" SPLAT!

Hughes shot up from the where he was lying on the train compartment, sweating profusely. S-so... It was all... A DREAM?

Suddenly the DRRR people walked in.

'You alright Hughes-san?" Celty typed.

"Oh!.. Yes I'm fine... I just had a terrible nightmare... That's all..."

"None of us can dream and you only have nightmares..." Shizuo muttered.

0

Interviewer: What do you think about your role in Prepare!...?

Gracia: Well I really do enjoy my role a lot. I mean, as both Hughes's wife and the main antagonist of the story, I thik I really help to define Hughes as a character.

Interviewer: You started with Mr. Hughes from near the beginning, right? Do you think that this experience has altered your life as a whole? Or would your life be going along the same path as it does today?

Roy: Well Hughes has always been a good friend, and I think that'd we'd still be together even if 'they' we're controlling this world and giving me lines to say. It's just that life might be… a little more normal. Suffice to say, I do think that this has changed my life, but Hughes and I still remain friends as we would be.

Inverviewer: So do you regard the Prepare! world as real in any way? Do you think of it as authentic?'

Gracia: Well of course I do. The reason is, Hughes is real. His life is being controlled by 'them', but his feelings, his actions, they're all real and true. I think that's one of the things that makes Prepare! very special… and also difficult for many of the actors. The fact that everyone is in of the truth except Hughes himself. And guarding that secret is the most crucial point of the whole thing.

Interviewer: What do you think inspired most of these characters to join up for this? The large payroll for being forced to act 24 hours a day? Or maybe they just wanted to be famous?

Roy: (chuckles) I don't think you've done enough research. Payroll? T-This is freely distributed. Everyone on the set is a volunteer… except for Hughes, that is. And as for being famous, how many people actually view Prepare!, anyway? Not enough for us to be famous, that's for sure. I think that most of us here are either major charcters whose shows had ended or minor characters that wanted to do something more with their life. We all wanted that last stab at plot and fame before we went out entirely…

Interviewer: Thank you both for your time… I know you have to get back to the set before Hughes wakes up entirely… Noblesse Obliege, I pray for your continuing work as a cast member…

Inverview END.

Mikado stood in a small room, surrounded by lots of gray people. Suddenly his eyes glowed red, as did everyone else's.

"Today we take everyone on this train hostage! They shall be the holy sacricifes to free the Mother!" Mikado shouted.

The others shouted their all streamed out of the room, slashing anyone they could.

The KEG sat at the small bar at the train, after mysteriously waking up in one of the compartments. Not knowing how they arrived there, they just decided to order a bunch of food… and steal the valuable carge that they heard was on board.

Kira shuddered. "I just don't know about this….."

"Yeah, they said that the valuable cargo might be a bomb…" Muttered one of the bartenders.

"A BOMB!" Kira nearly jumped out of his seat. "Wait, they said 'might be' a bomb, right…?"

"Uh… no, they said it is a bomb."

"AGH!"

"Calm down!" Ed glared at Kira. "Stop making such a big deal or we'll be caught before we even get to the bomb!"

"B- But…"

"Why don't you go talk to those nice folk o'er there, Izu-chan?" Gin pointed to Kanda and Lenalee, who were sitting further down the bar and laughing uproariously. "The one with dark hair has a sword.. Maybe he's… a SAMURAI…."

Kira timidly stood and approached the two. "Um… excuse me…"

Kanda gave Kira a hearty pat on the back. "Look, Lenalee! He has a sword!"

"AMAZING, KANDA!"

Kanda looked Kira over. "Are you by any chance… A SAMURAI?"

Kira began to shudder profusely. He suddenly wanted to be far away from these people.

()()

"We hafta do something about these damned Slashers! They're taking over the train!" Kida declared.

The assorted Yellow Scarves cheered in agreement.

"Your job is to go out there and kill anyone that's acting like a slasher or something… now GO!"

()

Celty decided to join the gray-people/Slasher movement. She wanted Anri-chan free as much as anyone. Besides, she figured that that would be the path that would result in the least casualties.

Although Shizuo had an ongoing grudge against the Yellow Scarves, he hated the mindless Slashers even more. There was no way that he'd let himself become one of them. Besides, he wanted to KILL….

(flashback)

Tom sat at his desk. A Wanted paper sat on his desk, showing that the bounty for Izuru Kira was 60 yen…

Shizuo entered the room with confidence. "You called for me….?"

Tom scowled. "I have a job for you…"

"Does it involve KILLING PEOPLE!"

"Not reeeally…."

'WHAT!" Shizuo punched a wall. "At least give me a decent job!"

"I need you to board this train…"

"Okay! I'll be there!" Shizuo ran out the the room. Tom sighed. Why did he have to be Shizuo's manager…?

Flashback END.

Meanwhile, Hughes was starting to get suspicious. It seemed like everyone was WATCHING him. Like his life was being controlled, somehow. He knew the one place he could find the answer. He made a quick escape from the train, heading off to the Ikebukuro Daily to get some answers.

Hughes managed to capture Izaya and get him on top of a train. 'I KNOW YOU KNOW THE TRUTH ABOUT MY LIFE! TELL ME, BEFORE I GRIND YOUR FACE INTO THE TRACKS!"

Izaya winced. He wasn't about to get his face ground off. "You want the truth, Hughes-san? The Your life is being controlled, monitored, watched! Everyone watches as you are put through more and more mistery! We are all just actors, whose job it is to make your life as awful as possible! Your whole life is lies LIES **LIES!"**

Hughes paled. In his confusion Izaya slipped out of his grasp, falling onto the train tracks. Hughes stood, staring blankly. Was it true? Everyone in his life was an actor? That his whole life was staged? B- but…. That meant… even Roy was in on it… even GRACIA…. Hughes let out a sob. What could he do with his life, not that he knew the truth? He contemplated suicide. Maybe that would be the easiest way to go…

Meanwhile, the brains were holding an emergeny meeting. What would tey do now that Hughes knew the TRUTH!

"WE MUST KILL HIM. HE SHALL BE THE SACRIFICE." Chanted the orange brain.

"We can make him one of USSSSSS!" The green brain glowed happily. "He can join us in betting on who will die next!"

"Stop it, both of you!" The pink brain was angry now. "We've dealt with these sorts of situations before! All we hafta do is have… A TWIST."

"A twist…?"

"Yeah, a twist….." The pink brain grinned, already thinking up all sorts of plans.

When Hughes next opened his eyes, he was standing in front of Central Headquarters…. Naked. He held in his hand a gun and his Soul Pager. He blinked. Who am I? What am I doing here? WHY AM I NAKED! Am I some sort of nudist protester or something!

He saw Mustang come out of headquarters. Funny, I know who Roy is, yet I don't even know my own name…

Mustang stared at Hughes in horror. "MAES, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!"

"AGH!" Hughes quickly hid behind a conveniently-placed bush. "ROY SAW ME IN AN EMBARASSING STATE!"

Hughes looked around. Everything seemed strange and unreal. He looked up.

"OH My GOD! They've come! L they've come to take meeeee home!" In the sky flew a strange multi colored air craft. Tears streamed down his face, "Finally! I CAN. LEAAAAAVE this WRETCHED WORLD!"

An hour Earlier...

Hughes stood behind the bush, staring at Roy from afar.

"Oh.. Hughes... You must be cold..." Mustang said, shielding his eyes and handing Hughes his hat. "But... How did... how did you get OUT HERE!"

Hughes grinned and stepped out from behind the bush. "Here? What do you mean here? Oh... Yeah... I'm not really sure. You see I have a confession to make... I have something you would call amnisi- "

"AHG! I-I DON'T CARE! B-But... YOU are on government property. I think I'll have to detain you unless you have a good reason to be... Well?"

Hughes looked around embarrassed wondering if there was anyway out of this situation.

"Well? I'll ask again. Why are you he-"

Suddenly the sound of a car screeching to a stop could be heard behind Hughes. "ERUUU! ERUUUUUUUUUUUU~~!" High-pitched squeals screamed form the car.

"AHG! No! THEY'RE BACK!" Mustang yelled and quickly ran to the car to clear up the situation.

Hughes sighed with relief. What amazing luck... Or perhaps... He felt a tap on his shoulder.

He turned to see L intently staring up at him.

"I-IT'S YOU!"

30 minutes after that...

Hughes and L walked through the streets of Ikebukuro...

"So... What you saying to me, is that the world I've been living in is not real...?"

L Nodded.

"And this is just a flash back to pitifully try to confuse me, and interest the readers?..."

L nodded...

"AND ALL of this is control by some PINK BRAINS!" He jumped up in fury, "WELL I"M NOT GOING TO LET THAT HAPPEN! I'll escape this island, and live my own life! My own way!"

L shook his head in disagreement then wandered away leaving Hughes muttering to himself.

"Someone will come! I KNOW IT! SOME ONE WILL COME AND SAVE MEE!"

Elsewhere

Light walked down the Ikebukuro streets at night, slightly drunk.

He suddenly felt a tap on his shoulder, and violently spun around, almost loosing his footing. Standing their was a grinning SIMON. "Guess what? You our second lucky winner today! Any guy cosplaying tonight get free SUSHI-KUN at our RUSSIA SUSHI!"

3 minutes later~

Light entered Russia sushi, "2nd winner today eh?" He grumbled. He looked up into the restaurant and saw L sitting there eating sushi. Then he was attacked.

23 minutes later...

L and LIGHT flew out the sushi shop and ran through Ikebukuro, covered in face-paint and wearing tie-dye shirts.

'DAMN THOSE FAN-BOYS~!" Light screamed. "I WISH THEY WERE DEAD!"

The two, finally stopped at a park, to catch their breaths.

After a moment of silence, Light spoke,

"You know L, I'm glad we had this last bonding experience... You know... Since we're still friends and all... We'll always be able to look back on this day and lau-" He turned to L, who was glaring, ready for a kick...

And the glowing multicolored light was propelled through the skies of Ikebukuro...

And Hughes screamed with joy... And woke up...

He sat up from his train seat he had been sleeping. And quickly recorded his dream.

The Brains turned to see their guests,

"AAAAaaa~ Ahh Do come in! Sit down~!" The Pink brain said,

Celty, and Izaya both took their places on a continently place couch.

"Soooo~!" The Brains turned to Celty. "You've come to report I assume... But first, we need to talk about Hughes... Izaya?"

Izaya's eyes bulged and he began to shake."Noo! NO MORE HUGHES!" He sceamed and ran out of the room...

ALLEN was having flashbacks. Flashbacks to the time when he was first picked up by General Cross...

~~~FLASHBACK TIME~~~

Allen opened his eyes blearily. He felt his stomach growl, and sat up. _Where am I?_ He looked up to see a man with red hair and a fancy-looking uniform watching him intently.

"One eye, white hair... I've heard of you, kid. They say you can see the souls of akuma with that other eye of yours. I've also heard that several exorcists took you in before. What happened? Did you get thrown out afterwards?"

Allen looked down. "All the exorcists I mew were kind to me. They took me in when I had nowhere else to go. In return, I helped spot any akuma that might be around. Unfortunately, sometimes the exorcists weren't good enough to deal with the akuma there. Everyone I worked for... is dead..."

Cross narrowed his eyes. "So the ones that you worked for were THAT KIND, eh? The kind that when they see a little kid on the streets they'd take him in and feed him?" He paused and looked Allen over. "My name's Cross Marian. How'd you like to work for me? I won't die from some measly akuma like those other exorcists. In return, you cook and clean for me, and start earning some money to pay off all those debts I owe. Any questions? No? Good. Now get me some sake."

~~Flashback END~~

Meanwhile, Ed and Kira were in another compartment.

"Hey, Kira!" Ed shouted. "Let's play catch!"

Kira blinked, surprised. This was the first time Ed had wanted to play anything with him. And everyone always thought of Ed as stronger and all... Kira began to think. _Maybe this is my big chance at showing the world that I am just as good as Ed...! _Just then, a ball came hurtling through the air and smashed into Kira's face, sending him flying into the wall.

"Ooops! Sorry!" Ed shouted, not looking sorry at all. "Maybe I should try again?"

"Y-you're... throwing it... too hard..." Kira tried to say, wincing and attempting to stand.

"What was that you said, Kira? I couldn't hear you!" Ed sent another ball flying at Kira, knocking him down again.

Kira again tried to stand. "S-Slow... it... down..."

The nest hour went on with Kira getting subsequently beat up by a montage of throws by Ed. Eventually Kira managed to make his escape.

()()()()

Hughes rubbed his head. As of late, his dreams had started to feel more real... as if he was actually living them. He hardly ever felt well-rested, either. "Maybe I should see a doctor..." He murmured.

Just then, Kida stormed into room. "Hello, Hughes! My name's Kida Masaomi, I'm from Ikebukuro! Pleased to meet you!"

"Um... I already know you, Kida..."

Kida ignored him. "So I heard you're still having terrible memories? Of that incident 11 years ago...?" He smiled cruelly, waiting for an answer.

Meanwhile, Mikado just realized that he left his Death Note (yes, he DOES have one) in his compartment in the back of the train. He hurried to the compartment, to see that the Death Note had been picked up by Shizuo.

"Er... give me my notebook back!" Mikado tried to sound as tough as possible.

"Not so fast!" Shizuo shook his head. "It's not like this is a Death Note or something. I saw the drawings of Anri-chan in here! You must really like her, huh? You see, I sit in the back of the train! I see everything that goes on...!"

"Just give me my notebook back..." Mikado muttered lamely.

"Under one condition!" Shizuo jumped up on the seat of the train compartment. "You must become a MANGA ARTIST with meeee!"

Kida stood on top of the train. "I'm not afraid..." He muttered to himself. "I'm not afraid at all. My fear of heights is completely gone now..."

Just then the train shook and Kida fell with a yelp, gripping the roof tightly. He could feel his hands, slip; he didn't want to look below him to see the rushing ground. _I have to hold on..._

"You know, there's a real art to train walking..." A figure appeared, pulling Kida up to the safety of the train roof. And Kida saw in amazement that it was...


End file.
